September 19th was a special day for me, my birthday. While many people spend their birthdays looking wistfully back on the youth they believe they've left behind, I revert to the feelings I had as kid and enjoy myself completely. My attitude is, "Yippee, it's my birthday and I'm gonna celebrate." Yet too often I hear from others, often much younger than me, that birthdays make them feel "old" and their spirits are down.
One of my friends refused to tell me when her birthday was for years. She didn't want any extra "depressing" reminders -- like a birthday card or a call to wish her a good day -- that she was getting older. She literally mourns her day and now that I know when it is, I still refrain from acknowledging it. Try as I might to reassure her that she looks great (she does) and has a good life, she sees each birthday as a countdown to losing her looks and health.
Not me! The little girl in me comes out to play on my special day. I refuse to stifle my youthful spirit just because I have more years. So I take a childlike pleasure in my birthday, walking around feeling grand with the giddiness of someone much younger, taking pleasure in birthday wishes and singing my own version of the Beatles song, "You Say It's Your Birthday." After all, it's MY day, so I make the most of it!
Many people have a more negative response to their day, as if having a birthday will make them discernibly older. I just looked in the mirror and I'm still me, despite having another year tacked onto my age! Yet birthdays continue to give many people an ominous feeling instead of feeling joy about their lives.
I was recently at an event with a group of women who I consider dynamos and was surprised when one said she'd "just gotten though another birthday," like it was an illness or trauma. She's in her forties. Another said she'd be fifty in a few weeks away as if she'd turn old that day. Like kindred spirits, they all expressed how they dreaded getting another year older. Yet they're all very vibrant, healthy, attractive women with successful careers.
I went through birthday aversion right after I got married at twenty and settled into a teaching career, which I'd never wanted to do. Back then I was a "good girl," and did what I was "supposed to." My creativity and passion for life were stifled in my attempt to "do the right thing." Each birthday meant I was another year closer to getting too old to have a career I loved. Blessedly, I learned that you're never too old to reinvent yourself!
I consider my birthday a celebration of my acceptance of me as I get older. Every year I gather with people in my life who have good energy for a celebratory dinner. It's a happy reminder that I feel good about who I am. Another year on my age won't change that! Celebrating you on your birthday is so much better than lamenting another year gone. You can't turn back the clock but you can make the most of the years you have. Accepting yourself in your own skin, no matter what your age, is the greatest birthday gift of all!