Dress Arab -- Make $

Last week I wrote about Airtran officials throwing a Muslim family off a flight because they looked "suspicious" a/k/a Muslim in a blog entitled "(Not) Flying While Muslim."

In an effort to assist my fellow Middle Eastern and Muslim-Americans, I offered them this advice to ease their problems at the airport: "Dress white, make your flight. Dress brown never leave town." I also implored them to shop at stores that can help you dress "white" like Banana Republic -- the Mecca of clothing for white people.

But now I'm here to tell everyone to ignore that advice in light of today's news that Jet Blue and the TSA have paid Arab-American Raed Jarrar $240,000 because he was removed from a flight for wearing a shirt that bore Arabic writing. (Mr. Jarrar was ultimately allowed to re-board but had to cover up the shirt.)

Now I know that sounds like a lot of money -- even to me a former lawyer -- but before everyone blames this award on an activist judge or a liberal politically correct jury, please keep in mind that the $240,000 was not ordered by a court, but offered voluntarily by Jet Blue and the TSA to settle the claim. It would have been downright Un-American for Mr. Jarrar not to accept the US dollars being offered to him.

So after hearing about this $240,000 payment, I now say forget "Dress white make your flight," - instead here are a few new rhymes that you should employ: Dress brown, in money you will drown -- Wear an Arab dress, cash you will possess -- Dress like you're from the Middle East, your income will be increased.

And this doesn't go for just Middle Eastern-Americans. During these tough economic times, anyone looking for some extra money should try it. I can only imagine airport security looking up seeing throngs of people dressed like Arabs - a white guy with an Arab scarf, a Blonde white woman in a traditional Arab robe, an Asian guy wearing a Keffiyeh -which is the traditional male Arab headdress. (If you are curious as to how white people would look dressed like Arabs, you might want to see this video made 2 years ago for Comedy Central.com's "The Watch List")

Now I will warn you not to go overboard. The Arab-American man in question was simply wearing a t-shirt that stated in Arabic: "We will not be silent" - a sentiment many of us shared about the Iraq war and share again now with the current situation in Gaza.

But that does not mean you should dress to scare people- no shirts stating: "Bin Laden is my homeboy," "72 virgins here I come" or "Al Qaeda rocks." Plain and simple Middle Eastern fashions should suffice.

If all goes well, security will not allow you to board your flight and you are on your way to the new 46 inch Plasma TV you always wanted. Worst-case scenario - you don't get any money, but you have a head start on your Halloween costume.

Comments

[ObjectiveRealist]

Better yet, wear Sanskrit; easy Megabucks, plus the fascists look even stupider in the press!

[EuroHuffPoFan]

Nice ......

Its good to start the day with a smile ; -)

[larry278]

OK, the outfits that sell things to GI's (US Cavary, Brigade Quartermaster) sell keffiyehs at a low price. I have 2 of them. Use your favorite search engine to find the rest of the Arab gear; if I decide to go full Arab, I'll try the Hippie Shop, local stores that cater to Syrian Christians & maybe go to NYC's Houston St. I could just use American shirts & pant with my keffiyehs as Muslim students at local colleges do. I got a beard so I'll pass for Circassian(sp), Azeri or any other fair skinned Muslims. I'm an old man so I can use Abu as part of my name. How much can I get from US Air, Continental or Delta? I know a few words of Arabic too. Local Syrians have been teaching me Arabic. I like Syrian Arabic. Egyptian Arabic's accents are difficult for me. I can get a cheap fare to Orlando. The hotel packages are cheap too. Maybe I can take a bus or plane to Miami to buy Arabic robes. The plain white or khaki ones are cheap.

[JonSmiley]

Good stuff. Thanks!

[AndSoItGoes]

How about using some common sense. Dress casual without making political / religious statements when appropriate. Understanding that the airlines have a stake in trying to make their flights safe and not causing fear. How about everyone trying to go along to get along. CO-EXIST !

[tinarm]

Maybe, that's what we should all do. We can all start wearing Arab clothing it will drive everyone in homeland security nuts and make it stylish and the new thing at the same time. Then what will the right wing nut jobs complain about or be afraid of. Oh, I forgot we have a new democratic president they are already scared to death. Ah, after 8 years of he** I'm so glad to see, watch, and hear the rightwing scream. It's pleasant music to my ears.

[kylennblack]

I tried on an abaya in college (a friend was an exchange student from Saudi Arabia) and it was roomy and airy and very comfy.

Also the beading and embroidery on some of the hijabs are beautifully done; I'd love to wear one from time to time.

"I can only imagine airport security looking up seeing throngs of people dressed like Arabs - a white guy with an Arab scarf, a Blonde white woman in a traditional Arab robe, an Asian guy wearing a Keffiyeh..."

Heh heh heh, I'm a redhead with green eyes so this could be fun!

[Rog49Thomas]

You'll fit right in.

You could be taken for one of the Circassians of Greater Syria.

[kylennblack]

I'm also glow-in-the-dark Irish/Scandanavian I-don't-tan-I-burn white. Even by Circassian standards I'm quite pale. But point taken. :)

[pcplz]

I have been wearing Egyptian djalabas for years. Most comfy and gorgeous ever!

[4real]

Thanks for the great idea because I am broke and need some $$...LOL

[Kodachi]

I'm going to have "America is awesome" printed on a T-shirt in Arabic script and wear that on a flight. I want to see if I can get a right-winger's head to explode as it tries to process "Oppressed patriot!" and "Terrorist-lover" at the same time.

[Strywever]

LOL! I like the way you think.

[Rog49Thomas]

Most right wingers have trouble reading English and you're expecting them to read Arabic.

This "audacity of hope" stuff is really over the top now.

[KarenGeorgetown]

I don't think it will prove lucrative but do you think mixing styles will make TSA's eyeballs spin and their brains implode? Say, a combo of the Keffiya and dad's bad golf pants, or the hijab, NASCAR tee-shirt and culottes....?

[joecash]

Im getting an Arab scarf for my next flight- I could use the $ in this economy!

[PATina]

hahahahaha... this was cute !!!

[Bernique]

I was wondering if I should wear my Abaya scarf this winter, airport and all. It's cotton, easily washed, goes with everything. I'll think of Raed Harrar as I wear it.

[politicky]

Thank you. I'm grateful for this post and Jon Stewart. At least two individuals with access to media understand that comic relief helps.