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Debbie Almontaser

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'All-American Muslim' is as American as Apple Dessert

Posted: 12/02/11 11:46 AM ET

Muslims -- they're just like us! No, not exactly, but if "us" is apple pie, then I like to think of Muslims in the United States as apple galette: different crust on the outside, same gooey filling.

The same can be said about American subcultures, and in its recent tradition of inviting viewers into the lives of those we'd otherwise poke fun at -- polygamists in Sister Wives, dwarfs in Little People, Big World -- TLC is breaking ground again with its brand new All-American Muslim, an eight-part reality TV series that documents the trials, tribulations and triumphs of five Lebanese Muslim families living in the Arab capitol of the United States, Dearborn, Michigan, as they balance between the demands of their faith and the realities of surviving in today's demanding world. It's a story that resonates with most Americans, give or take a few dozen kabobs. These families are a microcosm of the diverse communities that represent the 1.2 billion Muslims in the world. Muslims come from every racial and ethnic background and that must not be forgotten.

If hair-pulling cat fights are your thing, don't expect to find any of that here, and it's not because much of the female cast wears hijab. Unlike ratings hits such as Real Housewives, Jersey Shore, and Big Brother, all of which prey on human weaknesses and anti-social behavior, All-American Muslim finds its strength in community and connection, showing viewers that Muslims and non-Muslims are more alike than they are different. Every viewer will find something they can relate to and realize they share many of the same values -- love of family, community and country.

"People need to learn our stories," says cast member Nawal Aoude. "People need to learn who we are. The only time people see Muslims in the media, they are cast in a negative light."

Unlike other TLC shows, which typically feature only one family, All-American Muslim focuses on five different families, each cast member representing varying levels of religiousity and integration: expecting parents Nader and Nawal Aoude; the flamboyantly dressed Bazzy, who wants to open a nightclub, Mike Jaffar, a deputy chief sheriff who finds himself having to protect anti-Islamic protesters; high school coach Fouad Zaban, who puts football above everything else; country music loving Shadia Amen and her Irish-American husband Jeff.

"Being a Muslim isn't just one way," explains fellow cast member and event planner Nina Bazzy. "There are different ways to live life. We are your neighbors, your friends, your co-workers. Watch the show. Love us." Simply put -- Muslims are not monolithic in religious practice. There are Muslims who are Sunni, Sufi, Shia and many other sects.

It's a cast that reads more like a Cosby Show-esque sitcom than Michigan Shore fluff. In the center of one of the conflicts is Shadia, a 31-year-old divorced mom who has multiple facial piercings, tattoos that cover 40 percent of her body, and ever-changing hair colors that range "anywhere from pink to blue-black to whatever tickles my fancy." Hillbilly at heart, Muslim in faith. "I've read the Quran three times," she declares in the show. "I know a lot about the religion. I was raised with it, going to Islamic Sunday schools growing up. Because I don't follow it to a T, that doesn't make me any less of a Muslim. Because in the end, it's God who's judging us." The series premiere begins with her wedding, where Jeff, who was raised Catholic, who must convert to Islam so that he can marry her. For him, it's just going with the flow (think John Corbin in My Big Fat Greek Wedding), but for his mother and Shadia's parents, it's impetus for in-law tension.

"I would feel like a failure," Shadia's mother Lila tells her during a group discussion about faith. "It would depress me immensely if you wanted to convert."

Immediately off the bat, we see issues of tolerance and intermarriage come to light, as Jeff's mother copes with his conversion, not so much because he's going Muslim, but because him doing so brings out her own personal fears of change. "Society evolves," she tells him, "It doesn't stay the same. Sometimes we would like things to stay the same." Not only is her revelation a touching moment where we all on some level can relate to her anxieties towards the unknown, it's also a recall on faith that many of us can agree on: like society, religion evolves, which makes it entirely capable of holding importance for a person without defining his/her identity.

The trials these cast members face- scheduling football practice around the Ramadan fasting schedule, resorting to the defensive when given poor customer service at a restaurant, trying to conceive a child after the local sheikh equates sperm donation with adultery and tells the wife she would have an easier time getting pregnant if she wore the hijab more often- they sound uniquely Muslim, but at the core, they speak to anyone who has struggled to find the middle ground between practicing faith and integrating as a so-called "average American."

In the most recent episode, Fordson High School Coach Fouad Zaban is torn between his devotion to his football team, having never missed a practice in his career, and an invitation to attend a dinner at the White House to celebrate a Muslim holiday hosted by President Obama. Zaban ultimately decides to go to Washington, but spends his time with the Commander-in-Chief boasting about his team. His love for country is just a step above his dedication to his students, but barely and both are noble pursuits.

Integration forces a certain degree of self-awareness on anyone considered outside of the norm, and one of the greatest strengths of All-American Muslim is that it takes advantage of a cast member's inner understanding, not as the standard confessional we see so often in other reality TV series, but as discussion, an ongoing dialogue that starts on-camera and resonates off-screen. Offering the viewer the best of both worlds -- commentary and live action.

Think back to sitcoms such as The Cosby Show or The George Lopez Show, even I Love Lucy, and you see immediately that what made these shows so timely and yet everlasting is none of them ever set out to do anything extraordinary, just to present minorities as normal, non-threatening, believing in the same core values and adhering to the same codes as your average white person in America. The same can be said about All-American Muslim. While other reality TV programs focus on how they can use perverse fantasies to isolate their casts from audiences, All-American Muslim is in fact breaking new ground, not just because it's about Muslims, but because it's about connection in the everyday monotony of community and family interactions. "This isn't about politics," Shadia told the press last July. "It's about the joys of celebrations, weddings, the birth of a child, momentous moments in life that people can relate to."

Regardless of faith, All-American Muslim finds its originality in its lack of sensationalism. Reality, however mundane that may be, is always more authentic than the narcissistic decay that fuels, and rots, what we typically think of as unscripted TV.

Like an apple gallete, with no added sugar.

 

Follow Debbie Almontaser on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DebbiAlmontaser

Muslims -- they're just like us! No, not exactly, but if "us" is apple pie, then I like to think of Muslims in the United States as apple galette: different crust on the outside, same gooey filling. ...
Muslims -- they're just like us! No, not exactly, but if "us" is apple pie, then I like to think of Muslims in the United States as apple galette: different crust on the outside, same gooey filling. ...
 
 
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01:10 PM on 12/10/2011
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Abdul-Halim Vazquez

25 minutes ago(12:41 PM)
So you want to place limitation­s on immigratio­n based on ethnic/rac­ial considerat­ions. Not just skills, or family relationsh­ips?
==============

I think it would be great to stop giving US citizenship to jihadists, don't you?
10:03 PM on 12/09/2011
Why must our country be the worlds melting pot? No one likes us, why come here?
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11:56 AM on 12/10/2011
The answer to your question:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immigration_and_Nationality_Act_of_1965
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Abdul-Halim Vazquez
12:41 PM on 12/10/2011
So you want to place limitations on immigration based on ethnic/racial considerations. Not just skills, or family relationships?
10:02 PM on 12/09/2011
Why cant the french stay in France and the saudi's stay in Saudi Arabia? Why must America be everyones melting pot. Go melt in Japan or in China. Everyone hates us Americans anyways, why come here? So they can actually talk trash to our faces while living off our taxpayers?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
arachne646
Loving # Growing # Knitting
06:50 PM on 12/14/2011
Don't you know that there have been Muslims born as American citizens for over 100 years? And that immigrants cannot live off taxpayers, whoever brings/sponsors them into the country is guarantor for all their costs and needs.
11:25 AM on 12/08/2011
It is easy to stereotype a group of people based upon the actions of a few. There are as many different personalities as there are people on the planet. Some personalities are violent; some are forgiving and billions different types are in between.
Only the violent make the news. The news would not exist without the violent. It is clashes between these violent ones that perk up our interest. It is the way with humanity.
Now personally, I think the Islamic way is a copy-cat. It owes its existence to an anti-Christian (Zoroastrian) philosopher name Salman Farsi. Muhammad could not read or write but he could fight. The whole Qur’an was a play for power in Saudi Arabia, after Muhammad saw the success of Christianity. Without Christianity you would not have Islam.
But that is not a reason to persecute moderate Muslims. They are some of the forgiving ones who want to turn away from violence and raise their families and be prosperous using the American dream. They are red-blooded like everyone else. Leave them alone. Do not stereotype the forgiving ones by the actions of a few violent ones.
There are violent ones in Christian circles, because the religion of Christianity (poison) is something different from an individual enjoying a relationship with God through his son Jesus. There are few rules here except to love God above all else and to treat your fellow man as yourself.
02:10 AM on 12/07/2011
Muslim at any location are followers of only one religion Islam, only one book Quran and only one prophet Hazrat Muhammad(P.B.U.H). they will work on those and never go for any thing that is better as their location or else.
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European1919
I am the Pigmâ’¶n
01:50 AM on 12/07/2011
'All-American Muslim' is as American as Apple Dessert ...

Well, since it is apple pie which is all-American, not apple dessert, the case is already solved.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
arachne646
Loving # Growing # Knitting
06:53 PM on 12/14/2011
In practice, though, cherry pie is America's most popular. Use metaphor much?
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loutrerouge
Defending reason, secularism and equality against
01:47 AM on 12/07/2011
So Muslims are proud to be like the gooey centre of middle America who:
- cannot accept Evolutionary theory
- think rape victims who dress 'provocatively' asked for it
- exhibit rampant homophobia and transphobia
- revel in corporal punishment (it's in the Qur'an)
- love militarism
- fear change above all else
07:56 PM on 12/07/2011
Everything you just listed could also be said about evangelical Christians in America. What's at the core of these is fundamentalism--not a particular religion. Any religion that has been fundamentalized shares these same intolerances. We should not include every Muslim in with the fundamentalist sects who believe what you've stated, nor should we lump all Christians in with the fundamentalists who believe that stuff.
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loutrerouge
Defending reason, secularism and equality against
12:39 AM on 12/09/2011
My point clearly went over your head. The "middle America" I refer to, i.e. whitebread Christians, are startling similar to Muslims in their hatred and ignorance. They deserve one another.

And as long as the foundational religious texts advocate prejudice and violence, it is completely fair to "lump" all believers together. When supposedly liberal Christian or Muslims edit their religious texts to remove homophobia, misogyny and violence get back to me.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
StevieTheK
On n'oublie rien, rien du tout
08:26 PM on 12/09/2011
wake me next time you have to take off your shoes and get strip searched because of the concern of Christians blowing up your plane
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
truesabil
12:13 AM on 12/07/2011
Part 2 of 2

Bless our homes and our schools. Bless the parents, our troubled youth, our burdened inner cities to never be without hope or direction. Bless Americans to keep to the best of our ways.

Bless Americans to cherish more the pride of industry.

Bless the efforts of the President and all other efforts in progress for more jobs and more opportunity to be in this great society for more of us.

Bless matrimony and families here and in all the world.

Increase for the President of the United States, for every Member of the Senate, for every Member of the House of Representatives, the excellence of man's spirit and the excellence of the intellect of the statesmen so that they may build a better America for us all. Amen. --- WDM
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
truesabil
11:53 PM on 12/06/2011
How beautiful is this historical occasion that an African-American Muslim was the first to be invited to give the Invocation at the U.S. Senate on 02/06/1992. -- Part 1

By Imam W. Deen Mohammed

Our Creator, the Merciful Benefactor, the Merciful Redeemer Who opens for all people a way to have good conscience and a good life:

Grant to this Nation that Americans continue to live as a prosperous nation of "many in one" and as a people of faith taking pride in human decency, industry, and service.

Let us pray that this great Nation's two centuries of national life may inspire other nations to move toward social and economic justice for all. Grant that her big heart for charity, compassion, repentance, and mercy continue to beat strongly within all of us. Grant that Americans always have more hope than troubles and ever grow in goodness and in wisdom.

Bless Americans to always cherish our freedom and the noble essence of the American people.

Grant that we Americans understand better our brothers and sisters around the world and reject unsuitable national pride for a global community of brotherhood and peace.

Bring all citizens and Government together, those of great means and small means, to appreciate more our Nation's solemn pledge of liberty, peace, and justice for all.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
detroitblkmale30
Wise Men Still Seek Him
09:15 AM on 12/06/2011
I'm really enjoying this show. It's shedding even more life on the neighbors next door in Dearborn I grew up around. Great people, great food, great community. Proud to call them neighbors. I'm glad the show is bringing perspective to the rest of the country not priviledged enough to live here.
09:15 AM on 12/05/2011
I watched this show for the first time the other day. I never expected for the people in the show to be bad people because I'm not closed minded like many people are. It's pretty amazing how similar Muslims are to other religions, yet people of other religions say that Muslims are the worst of the worst. Just because a couple of Muslims destroyed buildings in our country doesn't mean that all of them want to do that. Stop with the ignorance.
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10:42 AM on 12/06/2011
Find out what´s going on in Muslim majority countries when it comes to individual liberties, women´s rights, the role of religion and social development etc. and you may see why many of us Westerners find importing such backwardness objectionable. It´s not just about terrorism, and in the West we have the right to call it like we see it even if the multiculturalist and PC-crowds are trying very hard to silence it. Ignorance means lack of knowledge, so gain some before throwing labels at others.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
The Knocker
a mind is a terrible thing to waste
06:19 PM on 12/06/2011
I just don't understand why OK Ali response below to this comment was deleted.

"Are you also calling out the Christians that rape lesbians and
kill suspected homosexuals, in the name of God, because that is
happening in Uganda right now. And they learned it from the
American Evangelicals."
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Doug Sandlin
We see the world not as it is, but as we are.
10:43 PM on 12/06/2011
Any vast group of people can be made to look bad, by comparing one group's highest ideals to another group's worst examples.

Islam has 1.6 Billion people in it, and millions of our fellow Americans worship as Muslims -- and most Muslims are rather obviously just like most everyone-else ... regular people.
11:08 PM on 12/04/2011
The point of this article and this show really is to say "Gee Muslims are normal Americans too!"

It's like no kidding....
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living lightning
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
06:48 PM on 12/05/2011
Unfortunately, many people don't accept that. The mentality is "If they're Muslim, there's got to be something seriously wrong with them."
08:42 PM on 12/05/2011
That's pretty sad then. I mean let's just be accepting of different religions and cultures for once...
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John Ramsey001
12:13 AM on 12/07/2011
I don't think so.
06:21 PM on 12/07/2011
What do you mean?
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10:45 AM on 12/09/2011
you'd find you have lots in common with your Muslim brothers, Christianity and Islam being from the same branch of religions
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ipolitics123
What an excellent day for an exorcism.
04:54 PM on 12/04/2011
A lot of that "gooey filling" in female British Muslims is getting spilled - "honour violence" is up 47% in two years. When those statistics start to rise in the USA will you call honor killing "as American as apple pie?"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-16014368
07:01 AM on 12/06/2011
This is an important issue for the UK. But this article is about All-American Muslim, that is, Muslims in the USA. We've been separate countries for a while now.
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O K Ali
Wash your hands, seriously.
03:21 PM on 12/06/2011
Please. Domestic violence is domestic violence. Have you looked at the crime page today? Severed genitals, burning, beatings: it's all being done. God has nothing to do with it.
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loutrerouge
Defending reason, secularism and equality against
08:51 PM on 12/06/2011
Well it seems the godly are more interested in cutting up people's genitals than any other group.
09:50 PM on 12/08/2011
And honor killing is against the law, you point?
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10:09 AM on 12/04/2011
When any religion becomes a social straitjacket, this becomes inevitable:

"... No one at my university knows I am a Muslim. I remove my headscarf and change my clothes.

I kept this up for three years and graduated with a first class honours degree in Medicine. At home, my parents have no idea that whilst at university; I have changed a lot. I've become more confident, better-read (obviously) and I have come to the conclusion that there is no God.

When the holidays roll around, I do not see friends or go out. I'm not allowed to leave the house or even work outside of my small town (a 'suburb' of [BLANKBLANKBLANK] I guess you would call it in American terms!)"

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/mpttn/iama_21_yr_old_muslim_girl_who_wears_the/

No religion should have social control over the individual to the extent of dictating who she can and cannot marry. That is un American.

America stands for the empowerment of the individual, not collectivism.
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Abdul-Halim Vazquez
10:43 AM on 12/04/2011
America stands for the empowermen­t of the individual­, not collectivi­sm.

-------------------------

That strikes me as a really broad brush and I'm not sure you are applying it consistently. I mean, your insistence that immigrants should assimilate into your narrow conception of American culture strikes me as a very "collective" move. Individualism, to me, should suggests that all sorts of people (including Muslims) should be able to live according to their own lights and follow their own norms and values.
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Tolerant
See perfection in every situation
11:01 AM on 12/04/2011
With all the individual rights gradually taken from us, how can America, or the West in general, can proclaim that it stands for the empowerment of the individual.

Islam, on the other hand, provides a complete equilibrium and balance between the rights of the individual and the rights of the society/community.

The Muslim states, in general, have been more about collective rights, thereby deviating from the middle/balanced point, and the West, in general, have been more about individual rights, thereby deviating from the middle/balanced point.

The West, as I see it, is now moving away from too many individual rights and tightening things up by taking away more and more individual rights in the name of security.

So in that sense, the West is now moving towards the middle/equilibrium state.

Those who talk about individual rights in America have the America of yester years in mind.
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ipolitics123
What an excellent day for an exorcism.
04:56 PM on 12/04/2011
If you don't like America or American culture, you are always free to leave. That's the difference between us and a totalitarian society (like, oh, Syria, Lebanon, Iran, Egypt...)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Doug Sandlin
We see the world not as it is, but as we are.
10:51 PM on 12/06/2011
Don't some Christians attempt that same type of social control?

Why single out some Muslims?

That could lead to misunderstandings about Muslims overall, if that type of information isn't counter-balanced with examples of Muslims who are open-minded and non-socially-controlling. There are many such examples among American Muslims -- including among those who comment here on HuffPost, and among Muslims who are HuffPost bloggers.

I'm not sure why you post only negative examples about Muslims, when there are so many positive examples, too.
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08:03 AM on 12/07/2011
I'm not sure why you post only negative examples about Muslims, when there are so many positive examples, too.
==========

I'm not sure why you do not understand my function as a critic of Islam--I have explained it to you enough.

Islam, like all ideologies, is a collection of good ideas and bad ones. The good ones do not need attention; the bad ones do. They are causing problems for Muslims and non Muslims globally.

It's not about individual Muslims, it's about ideology--what some Muslims believe that has an effect on me personally, my family and my country.
07:26 AM on 12/04/2011
Dearborn Crusade
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Doug Sandlin
We see the world not as it is, but as we are.
10:56 PM on 12/06/2011
Funny.

More like: helping correct a lot of ridiculous information that's been spread about Muslims in general and Dearborn, MI in particular.

Here, this might help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3V57aLHfes