Life changes in more ways than those that we're acutely aware of after divorce.
When you divorce without children, the initial phases are emotional, financial and sometimes fairly deep, but you generally get through it, and go your separate ways. When you divorce with children, those phases stretch on forever.
One of the last of those 'phases' happens when the kids grow up and move out, leaving the custodial parent's home, having that parent go from having a house full of kids, to being alone, sometimes for the first time ever.
This is the 'phase' that I find myself in, and it's a really strange feeling.
At first, I didn't really give it much thought. Once I started thinking about it, I was actually excited. I no longer have to think about who I have to pick up and at what time, who's at home, did they lock the doors, who's out and not being able to fall asleep before they come home, among a million other things.
Just about everything about my life now is changing. Some of those changes are happening slowly, others at lightning speed. For example, I've downsized a time or two, and am about to do it again, hopefully for the last time, as my last child has recently left the nest. Everything inside my current dwelling screams "family," from the TV to the furniture, everything is 'family-sized' (which most of you will translate as 'oversized,' and you'd be right). I've managed to rid myself of most of the kids' stuff; scooters, snowboards, skis, bikes and the like, in order to 'lighten the load' en-route to a brand, spanking new adult life.
Other things too have changed: The car that I purchased specifically for the purpose of hauling kids to soccer, ballet, baseball and trips to Costco is no longer efficient or useful, unless I'm planning on buying enormous things that need to be hauled home, and as I said before, I'm over that.
No more $400 trips to Costco... that's another huge change.
I find myself browsing through flyers and online, looking to choose furniture that I like for ME now, as opposed to choosing what's best for kids who might spill, drip or get it dirty. I even find myself watching a TV show, and thinking, Wow... that house looks like it's got kids in it, based on the style or condition of the furniture. HAH!
Even the way that I date is different. Before, no one would meet the kids before we'd been dating six or eight months (sometimes a year. Don't judge). Now the kids (grown) are nagging me to introduce them after a couple of weeks! (It still doesn't happen that quickly, but it's not a year. Old habits die hard.) I don't worry about what time I get home, and if I feel like buggering off for the weekend, I can, because I don't have little kids, or even teenagers at home to worry about doing anything for.
I'm the type of person who really enjoys her own company, sometimes too much. But I have to admit, there does exist a little bit of an 'empty nest' feeling. There's a piece of me that misses having kids in the house... the laughter, the silliness, hearing the word "Mom" every three seconds. But I think that'll pass, too.
Most of my friends have said at least once, "Now you can do whatever you want to do!" And I'm well aware of that. The problem is, I want to do so damn many things, both personally and professionally. What do I do first?
It crept up on me much more quickly than I'd expected, but I'm enjoying pondering the possibilities over a glass of wine (or two), and I'm looking forward to moving slowly through it, and getting used to this 'new found freedom'.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.