The Power of Community

A quarter century ago, Helen Reddy branded the women's movement with her anthem "I Am Woman." What it both reflected and provoked, however, was the more powerful truth that "I Am Women." If we've learned anything in the past 25 years -- and it's appropriate to consider such lessons in light of this unprecedented time in the history of presidential elections and as we celebrate Women's History Month -- it's that no woman stands alone. Rather, she stands on the shoulders of her unique and diverse community -- the family, friends, caregivers, coaches, playdate partners, and personal assistants who make her busy life possible.

Supermom resigned under pressure a long time ago. In between "bringing home the bacon," "frying it up in a pan," and "never, ever, letting her husband forget he's a man," she fell asleep during her daughter's dance recital and lost a major client. She discovered that the secret to success was admitting her own limitations and leaning on others. Winning wives, mothers, executives, and artists rely on a carefully constructed support system, never more so than now in our always-on, overprogrammed lives.

I am strong. I am invincible. I am women. I am Debi, the busy executive, but I am also Eileen the dogwalker and Sherri the landscaper and Paula, the stay-at-home mom who drives my son to and from lacrosse practice. I am my neighbor Evelyn who signs for deliveries and my accountant Lucille, who pays my bills, and Tina, my nanny who helps my daughter make a paper mache volcano for the Science Fair. I am my travel agent, local takeout place, yoga instructor, and piano teacher. I am not alone.

And, thanks to the Internet, my community is no longer restricted to my neighborhood. I'm no longer walking down the street in Levittown to borrow a cup of sugar. I'm conferring with a counterpart in Calcutta with whom I share a job. And I'm consulting one of the thousand-plus message boards on iVillage to understand my son's diabetes or console another military wife whose husband is overseas. I'm finding the Ethel to my Lucy several time zones away.

Seventeen million individuals each month visit iVillage to connect with their community to share a mutual passion, take an online course, research a health concern... or, simply, vent. iVillage offers both the intimacy of being in a community where your thoughts and experiences resonate... and the anonymity of being online with people around the world who are looking to confide, not judge.

Just last year, thousands of women from Washington, D.C. to Washington state bade farewell to their fat pants as they collectively lost more than half a million pounds in six weeks during our community challenge. Last month, iVillage joined with the AARP to host an unprecedented "How She Will Decide" forum, at which hundreds of diverse, engaged women identified financial security as their top issue in the presidential election. And every day on our message boards, the "Military Wives" and "Trying to Conceive Grads" and "Suburbanistas" confer on their favorite subjects.

The power of community is as diverse as the women in it. It offers personal support, professional guidance, and social networking. It is Little Women meets Mary Tyler Moore meets The View. It is women sustaining each other and succeeding together.

And I know this from personal experience. As a mother of a child with Type I juvenile diabetes, I have leveraged the power of online communities to gain information, secure resources, and build new relationships and hope. I've been able to share the trials, fears, and lessons I and my family have experienced along the way. And that has made all the difference.

Supermom is no more. What has taken her place is the Momtourage -- that village of teachers, nannies, friends, neighbors and caretakers who support and enrich each mother's life. It's time to salute the power of our individual communities in helping us raise secure, creative, and aware kids. I am women. Hear me roar.

Deborah I. Fine is President of iVillage Properties, a division of NBC Universal, and the first and largest community of women online.