THE BLOG

6 Reasons Why Your Relationship Is Killing You

04/15/2015 06:07 pm ET | Updated Jun 15, 2015

Has your relationship taken a beating, leaving your feelings bruised and battered? Or do you have a gut feeling that something may be seriously wrong? Or perhaps you've ignored your gut altogether, hoping your problems will just... go... away.

If your relationship's broken in some way, then it's time to repair the damage. Don't bury your feelings in a ditch hoping they'll disappear -- your emotional wounds will just get bigger. So let's dig into how your relationship could be hurting you and get you on the road to recovery.

1. It's hurting your happiness.
Is your relationship building you up or bringing you down? Are you echoing your partner's bad vibes? Or are you completely emotionally dependent on your partner for your happiness?

Happiness begins with one person: you. It's time take a look in the mirror and make your own happiness a priority. If you do, your relationship will inevitably benefit from it. On the other hand, if your partner's dragging you down into the depths of despair, then it's time to evaluate whether this relationship is really right for you. Compromising your happiness to please your partner will ultimately make you both miserable.

2. It's deflating your finances.
My boyfriend was in a financial rut when we moved in together. I was 23 and also didn't have any financial sense. I covered the rent, drained my bank account, and racked up serious credit card debt. Finally, I left him.

From that day on, I swore I'd never invest in another relationship at the expense of myself. I've been financially stable ever since and have been in more rewarding relationships as well. So talk openly with your partner about your financial stresses and goals and get on the same page.

3. It's suppressing your sex life.
Maybe you haven't had sex in months, or it's dwindled into a routine of ABC sex -- sex on Anniversaries, Birthdays, and Christmas. Or is sex the only thing that's working between you two?

Don't let your hormones do all the talking. Be honest about what's missing in the relationship, then be prepared to have that all-important talk about your lack of communication, trust issues, or why passion has gone out the proverbial window. Intuition is your BFF. It will tell you the truth. Don't stay stuck in a dispassionate relationship. Reconnect with your partner or couple up with someone who'll fulfill all your romantic desires.

4. It's harming your health.
Gorging yourself to make up for a lack of love, or giving up workouts for couch aerobics because your heart hurts will get you nowhere.

So if you're depriving yourself in some way because you're feeling deprived in your love life, then indulge in some serious self-care. The more you take loving care of yourself, the better you'll feel, and the better choices you'll make for yourself and your relationship.

5. It's crushing your confidence.
Does your partner make critical remarks? Are you morphing into a person you don't recognize as you cater to your partner's needs, trying to be what you think he or she wants, or simply trying not to rock the boat?

Never stay in a relationship out of fear, false comfort, or denial. Accept and acknowledge what's great about you. By reclaiming your self-worth your relationship will either improve, or you'll discover there are better fish in the sea.

6. It's destroying your dreams.
Has your partner derailed your dreams? Are your goals taking a backseat? Or do you feel you have to alter your ambitions for your partner to accept you or to stay in a relationship with you?

Don't put your dreams on hold. You'll only waste valuable time. Take your power back and to step into the person you're meant to be. If your partner doesn't like the "new you," then they're not the one for you.

Overall, a relationship should enhance your life. Don't settle for less than you deserve. You are not meant to suffer with someone who doesn't respect you or share in your most important values. If your self-esteem, your desires, or your happiness have been dying a slow, painful death, it's time to come to your own rescue.

Think about it this way: five years from now, do you still want to be complaining about the same things or be happier because you got out of your relationship rut and made a change for the better? Be honest about who you are and what you really want. By changing your present circumstances, you are creating a healthier, happier future.