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Delia Lloyd

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Why Up In The Air Is For Grown Ups

Posted: 01/21/10 12:41 PM ET

My husband and I went to see Up In The Air last weekend, which has just been released in the U.K. We really liked it (even if one of us didn't think Vera Farmiga was all that hot...ahem.) And yet, when we came home and talked about the film with our 17 year-old sitter, I didn't advise her to go see it. In fact, I'm not sure I'd advise anyone under the age of 30 to see this movie.

Why is this, you ask? It's not the sex (of which there's none, and only one shot of nudity) or the violence (ditto). It's just that for my mind, this is a really grown-up movie that can't be well appreciated by someone who's not...well...middle-aged.

So despite the PG-15 rating, here are five reasons why I think this is a movie for grown-ups (Spoiler Alert! If you haven't yet seen the movie yet, this post contains some revealing information!):

1. It's about the economy. As my former colleague Michelle Brafman notes, this is a movie where the recession plays a starring role. It's a movie about downsizing, lay-offs and the way in which technological advances affect office life. I'm not saying that someone in their 20s can't appreciate those things, but they won't have quite the bite that they do for people who've lived through a few economic booms and busts. Evidence in support of this theory: the most moving parts of the film are all shots of real-life middle-aged or older people whose entire lives have been turned upside down by getting fired.

2. It's about feminism. This is also a movie about feminism - as I define it - by which I mean women making independent - and sometimes shocking - choices about their lives. In this case, that amounts to having an affair (not so shocking) and not wanting to ditch everything for your apparent soul-mate, even if he's George Clooney (a bit more shocking). There's a point in the film where the 20-something, tightly wound, overly professional and overly idealistic colleague of the Clooney character thanks Farmiga's character for "all her generation has done for feminism." We're meant to laugh, because there's only about 10 years between them. But later on in the film - when Farmiga tells Clooney that she's a grown-up and that he should call her when he's ready to play with the big kids (i.e. to accept a sexual friendship with no strings attached) - we understand that the last laugh's on us. This lady *is* liberated.

3. It's about commitment. As many people have already observed, this is also a film about loyalty and commitment. In my own view - and as I've written many times before - it's incredibly hard to stay committed to the same person over the long haul. And that's just not something young people worry about. They're off experimenting and having fun and aren't terribly bothered by what's coming next or how long anything lasts. And that's just as it should be.

4. The romantic leads are middle-aged. At one point in the movie, the script (foolishly, IMHO) suggests that Farmiga's character is 34. She looks more like 38 or 40 but whatever. The point is that while she's no Meryl Streep in It's Complicated - (and despite what my husband thinks, Vera Farmiga *is* hot) - nor is she the young, naive 23 year-old who also co-stars in this film. At one point, I thought they'd write the ending so that Clooney ends up with the younger woman. Thank goodness they didn't. The whole point of this film is that it's about what it's like to fall in love - or "in like" as the case may be - when you've already been around the block a few times.

5. It doesn't have a happy ending. I'll fess up to having a preference for dark movies and sad endings. This film has neither. But - other than for the 23 year old - nor do things end on a particularly tidy note. Which is - dare I say it - a tad more realistic. And also comforting for those of us who've also been around the block.

 

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06:25 PM on 01/27/2010
Delia, you're rather disconnected from Generation Y and hugely mistaken on the working life, maturity, and experience of the under 30 crowd.
Most of my peer group started a professional career in finance/consulting straight after college, lived out of a suitcase sun-thurs, racked up Starwood points and air miles like no other. Moreover, we've experienced the pervasive themes of the movie. We know what it's like to live a disassociated life when work requires regular 16 hour days and travel 90% of the year. We've seen what it does to our relationships, friendships or lack thereof. In disenchantment, we question our own sense of identity and "life" defined by work. We've seen our bright friends in high-paying jobs tumble to unemployment. We've learned to swallow our fears even if everything in our life feels uncertain and tenuous because our own social conscience reminds us that our fears are less important than those with mortgages and families.
Like Kendrick & Farmiga's characters, professional women in my generation struggle to reconcile what they want in career vs life/love and what they're willing to compromise. Natalie is not just an insertion in the movie. She's the one forced to experience the working life and all its baggage in a singular rush, which results in the big questions/themes of the movie. Any working professional can identify.
I wonder what kind of idyllic 20's you lived to not see how we can relate... I'm inclined to be jealous.
12:10 AM on 01/23/2010
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, and I'm 17 years old. And I liked it for pretty much all of the reasons you listed! It was a really emotional movie and the cinematography reminded me of a filmed version of an Edward Hopper painting. Jason Reitman is on of my favorite directors, and the cast was excellent as well- I have a preexisting affinity for Vera Farmiga, though, so I may be biased.
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Delia Lloyd
American journalist/blogger based in London
04:02 PM on 01/24/2010
so glad to hear this!
11:30 PM on 01/22/2010
This wonderful film was about waking up to what one does for a paycheck, what one does to get through this day, --awakening to the tragedy behind a downsizing and how George's character was downsized from life. He saw what he had missed.The narcissistic gratification he sought was mirrored back to him in a woman. The thrill of the chase for her was to make him fall for her. Then she was able to say "Ooops, only kidding" That is the grown up story--when you open yourself truly to feeling, to life, to love, you are jumping out of the jet with no parachute, no net.

Where once was loyalty to a company and the social contract that said if you do good work, we will reward you in kind, there is now no loyalty, no real connection. Just artifice for self interest. He awoke to the broken loneliness of life and made the jump toward connection- alas, no net and crashed on the hard rocks of reality.This is about phonies who fail to feel. To say that creeps and liars come in both sexes is not breaking news. I loved this movie. Nobody cares about those who get laid off in the quest for greater profits and nobody cares about a guy who got laid and lied to in the quest for greater stimulation in a humdrum life. I cared about all of them. This movie really got to me.
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Delia Lloyd
American journalist/blogger based in London
04:03 PM on 01/24/2010
yeah I loved it too. Love the way you frame it!
04:35 PM on 01/22/2010
I'm in my 20s and I agree with lizriz's comment. I think you've underestimated the maturity level of 20 somethings today. I really enjoyed this movie and as a feminist and journalist, I identified (obviously) with the themes of feminism and of massive layoffs (I think anyone can today in the journalism industry). I also care deeply about the next step in my life (and always have) and have had enough epic failures in life to understand the reality that not everyone--in fact, half of people in America--end up in "happy coupledom." Mostly, I was offended by the term "grown-up" being used for 35 and above. Experience and maturity comes to many a 20 year old...and themes of singledom, I think, are especially understood by 20 somethings.
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Delia Lloyd
American journalist/blogger based in London
04:05 PM on 01/24/2010
Thanks for this, Sara. Sorry if I offended. Perhaps I'm reflecting on my own 20s here!....(though oddly all the literature says that young adults grow up even later now than before...) must revisit some of these categories, clearly!
06:09 PM on 01/21/2010
I (38) saw this film with three friends aged 23, 24, and 26. They all enjoyed it immensely, and we talked about it the whole walk home. One of my friends in particular said it was about exactly something he struggles with, in terms of the choices Ryan makes in the film. I think you underestimate or make assumptions about what appeals to 20-somethings.

I will say that the weakest point of the film for me (which I LOVED the film BTW), was when Alex is trying to explain to Natalie how your perspective on romance and what you want changes. I think it's incredibly difficult to communicate that it's not (hopefully) about settling, but more about how with understanding and experience, your perspective on what you truly care about changes. One of my friends did confess she didn't really get with Alex was saying in that part, and I had to say that I didn't think it was actually anything I could fully explain myself. But we tried and talked and talked about it anyway. :)
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Delia Lloyd
American journalist/blogger based in London
05:53 AM on 01/22/2010
Glad to hear that it resonated for younger people too, liz (tho wondering if reason the romance issue didn't resonate for your friend was precisely that...age/experience). so good to know that you and your friends are chewing over these things!
03:33 PM on 01/21/2010
The biggest problem with this movie is the fact that Farmiga's character actually maintains the moral high ground....perfectly in sync with todays version of feminism. The fact that this character is supposedly happily married seems to have been lost by the author. For a more realistic take on this gaping plot hole, I suggest this review => http://www.nationalpost.com/opinion/columnists/story.html?id=67adb63e-18b3-414b-8909-e6aa2362f8cd&p=1
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Delia Lloyd
American journalist/blogger based in London
03:54 PM on 01/21/2010
Thanks for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Must disagree with you - and the reviewer- though. There's no moral high ground here. And there's no plot hole. We're all free to judge her (negatively, if we wish) just as she judges Ryan negatively. And if if troubles you to think of her as happily married, I think - respectfully - that's your problem, not hers (see above on feminism/choice). The ambiguity of the ending is the point-that we aren't told exactly what to think. We need to decide for ourselves. Another reason it's for grown ups!
04:17 PM on 01/21/2010
The point is not her happiness.....that's all fine. The plot suggests this woman is NOT enjoying the benefits of an open marriage based on her reaction to his visit. So the plot hole is the fact that she is not exposed for her deceit to her husband and children.....I'm sorry to hear you think that's "my problem". Honesty is still important to any good marriage.....even for those of us that have been around the block.
03:12 PM on 01/21/2010
It's just really NOT a very good movie. Anyone who has been kicked to the curb by their employer will fill like they just had a fresh stab to the heart by watching the laid off workers anguish.
It was painful and brought it all back for me so that I couldn't really watch the rest of the movie.
When it was over I wondered WHY this movie was made and who thought it was a good idea to rehash and revive the pain so many of us have experienced?