I'll be chronicling my new life as I go through the divorce process and I hope you'll follow my journey. If you're looking for me to bash my ex, that won't happen. But if you're looking for a woman and mom excited for a new life, if you find it interesting to read about the roller coaster of emotions and all of the things that come with starting over... then join me here.
I wrote this piece on March 20 at 6:20am after my husband and I decided to separate. We spent the night laughing and crying and just hours after our decision I wrote this piece. We are just beginning the divorce process. We are lucky it was a mutual decision. We actually do care about each other and like each other -- more now that we have decided to move on. It is not easy and like so many others going through a divorce, we still face many challenges, but we are working through it and excited to move on with our lives.
Reinventing Divorce
That's what we hope to do.
To our friends who are shocked, and sad, please don't be.
We both deserve to be happy. We both deserve another chance. Our kids deserve to grow up in homes without tension, without arguments, without parents who are angry that they are still together.
We hope to learn from both of our divorced parents' ways.
You won't have to choose sides. You can continue with both of us.
To our kids, who one day may read this: we are doing it for you, too.
You deserve to see and feel love and passion between adults. You deserve parents without anger. You deserve parents who wake up happy. You deserve parents who want to love life. You deserve parents who can parent their best. You deserve parents who are on the same page. You deserve parents who can give you their all.
We can... just in different homes.
So we plan to reinvent divorce.
No nasty lawyers. No ugly custody battles. No financial fights.
We both deserve the kids. We both deserve our friends. We both deserve to be present in our kids' lives. We both deserve to try to live as closely to the way we have been... just in different homes.
We are just two parents who agree to always put our kids first. As long as we both remember that, we can co-parent the way we have been. We can co-exist the way we have been. We can just do it from different homes.
So we will reinvent divorce. We will reinvent our friendship. We will reinvent our lives.
There's no reason to do it any other way. We will create a new way for our kids, so we can live up to what we always wanted for them.... just in different homes.
Others have tried and failed at what we are aiming for. We won't let that happen. Because we can't. We owe it to our kids to put them first. We have seen too many other couples who don't, and we know what happens.
Hopefully we can be a better team apart than we were together. From different homes. That will be the best way to reinvent divorce.