It took years after my mother's death before I could dream about her. In my dreams now, she's in her 50s and still incredibly beautiful. We are usually laughing or shopping or cooking in her kitchen.
I'm not sure why it took my mother so long to come back to me. Perhaps it was her long, sad death and she needed some private time to be restored. Or maybe we were both pretending it wasn't true. Many days I would imagine that she was just busy getting settled in her afterlife. My mother was always a busy bee, and she felt compelled to decorate anything she came in contact with.
My color and visual skills come directly from her. She never looked at a room, a table
or a person without thinking she could make a better presentation. She was not afraid of speaking her mind. She loved to make improvements, and my father was a real estate broker, so her work was determined. She owned a dozen dream homes. As partners, they bought
the ugly house in an expensive neighborhood, and she transformed it. By the time she was finished, the "dog on the block" had been reborn into a "show place."
This was never a job; it was her life.
Whenever we moved to a new home, my sisters and I were never sure what furniture would be there. When I questioned at 16 what happened to my antique canopy bed, she simply replied, "Oh, I forgot I had sold that bedroom set with the last house, the buyers loved the furniture! Quality really does hold its value. Not to worry, Neesey, we are keeping you."
Once, I came home from a college ski trip and opened the front door to a completely empty house. My boyfriend said, "Wow, it looks liked they moved." They had. I knew she had not abandoned me, because her color-coordinated phone was still plugged in. Thirty minutes later, the phone rang and she gave me directions to the new house. I was grateful I had a car. And a compass.
Whether you wanted my mother's decor suggestions is a whole other story. But, as I heard every day of my life, what we see determines our mood; let's make it beautiful!
And as my mother went on to her next life, I knew she would find new transformations.
My mother talking to GOD: "Oh dear, we have to add color. Everyone is happier around color. We will start with the walls... and the gates? That shiny gold is so last year, maybe a patina finish or more bronze. Here, let me show you a sample, and the angels... well, if we're stuck with the wings, we will just have to play to them, there is no way to hide that kind of design flaw. But all the girls need lipstick. And next week, seriously, GOD, we have to talk about your haircut. If you lost the beard, you could look a hundred years younger."
The re-decorating of heaven must have taken up that first year. Then she moved on to my father and her explanation about her second marriage. I know that took some time and sales skills.
"But Johnny, I needed someone to take care of and you left me. I really didn't have a choice. And you know I didn't love him at all like I loved you."
She was cute and always had an exuberant presentation.
And then for the big close, she'd remind him of her surprise at the reading of his will, when she found out that he left all their money in a trust fund with us daughters in charge. When she asked me once, "Why did daddy do that?", I had to tell her what he told me.
"Doris may sleep with other men, but none of them are spending my money." Direct and to the point, that was my father.
In preparing for our next dream meeting, hoping that it's on Mother's Day, I have bought white roses, pink orchids and fancy new soaps. I will use her pretty china cups for my breakfast. I will cook something delicious for my husband. I will call my sisters so we can share a favorite mom story that we have already told each other a hundred times.
And when I sleep that night, I will be comforted by the beauty all around me, because what we see determines our mood.
Denise Vivaldo is an award-winning author and food stylist. She is lucky to have inherited some of her mother's talent.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.