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Dennis Merritt Jones

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The Three Most Important Words You Can Say (Or Hear)

Posted: 01/06/12 03:55 PM ET

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." -- David Viscott

Having recently viewed a very moving video posted on YouTube, I am moved to share an awareness that arose in me as I watched. The video is a wonderful tribute to the words "I love you," being spoken directly to you by literally dozens of people, all of whom are total strangers.

After watching the video several times I began to realize I was feeling a deep sense of connection with these strangers of diverse ethnicity, age, gender, and personality. The empowering thing about this video is that when you view it you not only hear the words but you see the face of the person saying the words -- their faces say as much as their words say. As I sat in silence as I looked into the eyes of each person saying, as if only to me, "I love you" I had to do a quick scan of my own intimacy ("in-to-me-see") filter because for the first few seconds there was just the slightest sense of anxiety over having complete strangers look "in to me," telling me they love me -- I mean, they don't even know me. How awkward and, at the same time, how extraordinary it felt to hear those words flowing, sometimes bubbling, from the lips of people I have never met.

This experience has hooked my attention regarding the possibility of increasing my "lovability" quotient -- the ability to love and be loved. At the end of the day I believe that what we are all seeking is a deeper experience of both sides of love -- the giving of it and the receiving of it. And yet, at times we are our own worst enemies when it comes to the giving and receiving of love because we place too many conditions and qualifications on it.

Suffice it to say, speaking the words I love you into the lens of a camera, or hearing the words spoken to us on a computer screen seems far less risky than saying or hearing the words face to face. Yet as I watched the video I noticed some people still seemed to struggle a bit as they looked directly into a camera, saying I love you to people they have never met. A few people were clearly stretching to get the words out, however, they did it and, as a result, you can visibly see a smile sweep across their face and a twinkle sparkle in their eyes upon uttering these three simple words, as if they had just seen a long-lost friend.

Perhaps there is a deeper truth in the idea we are all friends worth exploring. Spiritually speaking, perhaps we are all long lost friends on this journey of the soul. Perhaps, when we take time to truly recognize each other as fellow sojourners who came from the same place, these three words become the bridge that reconnects us in the moment. There is something about witnessing yourself say the words "I love you" to another person with no agenda that is transformative. Likewise, there is something about hearing the words spoken to you by another person with no agenda that is equally transformative.

Because of watching this video I have been beautifully reminded that the three most important words I could ever say to another or hear from another are, I love you, and it is something we can all practice saying and hearing every day. As a mindfulness practice, take a mirror and look deeply into your own eyes while you say I love you. This is more difficult than one might imagine if it is done with clear intention. Then I invite you to join me for the next week in never missing an opportunity to say I love you when moved to do so. Knowing how the law of attraction works, you may want to prepare yourself to be told the same thing many times over. Who knows, it might catch on -- wouldn't that make our world a better place for us all.

I honor Sivan Garr for producing the video "I Love You" and placing it in a public forum for all to enjoy. So, if you are looking for a way to help prime the pump "I love you," just click here and open your heart.

Peace, Dennis

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