Think, for a moment, about the next-door mommy you know. I'll do the same.
I'm picturing one of my mommy friends whose day starts with her being the morning monster mommy, morphing into the sweet angel who kisses her child's imaginary boo-boos. As a professional, she is the no-nonsense hard-talker who gets results, signs deals and talks business, or the entrepreneur who is building her business with feisty vigour, using traffic time to wear make-up. As a homemaker, she is raising little humans, working out of home, fulfilling her own passion, helping her kids find their passion, wearing yoga pants and bunching up pony-tails. Whatever she is or does, she floats through life being the centre of the world for her little ones and her family- and oh, sometimes she can be a hot mess!
Sound about right, give or take some make-up and pony-tail?
There's a reason we associate motherhood with a dash of lovable mayhem. And it's actually because, becoming a mommy changes your brain. Sorry, you ain't the same person anymore, honey!
While every mother can vouch for the fact that no two days can ever be the same, or no plans ever made carried out to the tee with young humans in the vicinity, there are a few things that the scientific community says will help us calm the storm- or face it better.
Here goes:
Give up your snooze time, woman.
Researchers tie early rising to being in control of your situations. Early pre-mayhem time improves your ability to be proactive- which means more enthusiasm, high energy, and inspiration. It means better organization, planning and sensible goal-setting, more tolerance to failure which in turn means more openness. And sure enough, based on my own observational research, being more organized and open leads to.. oh, right, less yelling and less guilt!.
Move it.
Truth be told, any mommy would crave nothing more than just being able to ....do nothing( Count me in!). However the benefits of having a good exercise regimen are too good to be ignored- even in exchange for those precious and increasingly rare moments of quiet!
Exercising tricks the brain into feeling better by producing "happy homrones". It magically dissipates stress and builds confidence. Studies also prove that exercise even helps achieve work-home balance better!
Does that sound like any have-it-all visionaries you admire? Sheryl Sandberg?Chanda Kochhar? Anyone?
Nourish your body
Sometimes, caring for a baby and everything else can consume us so much that we forget to nourish our own bodies. Not surprisingly, research suggests unmindful eating as the top reason for many (extremely) prevalent diseases . Some herbs like Garcinia Cambogia also help achieve a healthy body weight.
The second part of nourishing your body is feeling good about it. Indulge yourself with long baths and massages. Consider these to be essentials -- no matter how busy your life is. And oh, the occasional piece of chocolate is also good for you! So, stop beating yourself up!
...And Your Mind!
Weirdly, even though the mommy's mind is never quiet(!!!), there's hardly anything going on in there that she reaaallly craves. Chances are that you downloaded the new book- and totally forgot about it! Or, you have been meaning to meet your school-friend who stays across the city- but something more 'important' always comes up. Its been ages since you went on a 'date' and spoke about anything other than what's already filling your day! You have been meaning to sign up for a class, but it can wait!
You get the drift, don't ya? It's always tempting to brush aside the things your really enjoy as 'unimportant'; however. if you want to do the best for your child- do everything to make yourself happy first. Enjoy your quiet-time, read, write, dance, chat up, or simply be- even if for only a few minutes a day.
And yeah, the hot mess is cool too!
About the author:
Devishobha is the founder of Kidskintha- where parenting is inspired by kids. She believes that happy children grow around happy adults. Get her "53 Timeless Parenting Hacks To Raise Happy Kids" here.