Civil War or Aggression? Civil War or Ethnic Cleansing and Genocide?
What's the defining difference?
How can I possibly answer that question without screaming, crying, raging...?
For the first time, I can say with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes, I know how: Go to Srebrenica, as I did.
Visit the hundreds - thousands - of mothers and sisters who still grieve. Visit their children's and brother's graves. Ask them what the defining difference is.
They, at least, have something tangible to mourn. There are also those whose cries for help to the international community have been ignored; mothers and daughters who beg the world to help them find the remains of their sons, husbands, brothers, fathers.
My own father lost his parents. Not just them, but his entire family. Killed near the River Drina - the same waterway that marks the border between Srebrenica and Serbia - during an entirely different war, no less brutal. This was 1943 - 1945. And it was also genocide.
Given my father's heritage, you might think that I would have already learned what there was to know about loss, about war, about ethnic cleansing. I didn't. I just knew my father's sadness, his nobility, having to suffer the knowledge that his parents never got to meet their grandchildren.
My father also lost his son. To ethnic cleansing. To genocide. Again, at the hands of Serbian aggression.
I now know my father's pain. My name is Sanela Catic, known as Diana Jenkins. I am a daughter. I am a mother. And I was a sister once. I was born as Bosnian "Muslim" in Sarajevo. I never celebrated any of my birthdays in my twenties. I spent those years fighting for my very survival, losing my home, my friends and my family.
I never said goodbye to my brother. I never even made it to his funeral. He never celebrated any of his birthdays after his twenty-first.
Despite all of this, despite my heritage, I didn't know - not truly - the difference between war and genocide, between aggression and ethnic cleansing. I didn't have the real answers as to my father's pain, to my pain. Not until I visited Srebrenica.
I stood next to the Serbian and Bosnian Presidents, watching archive videos and documentaries on Srebrenica. The horrors on those tapes are almost indescribable, but there was one troubling, puzzling aspect that upset me the most.
In those videos, Ratko Mladić, the monster who is still wanted for his horrible humanitarian crimes, kept referring to the Bosnian children, women and men that he was killing as "Turks."
Why, I asked, were my people being referred to as 'Turks'? Bosnians are not Turks; my brother and I had never even been in a Mosque. Instead, we had grown up in Communist Yugoslavia, schooled in science, mathematics, Darwinism and Marxism.
Then it dawned. For Bosnia's oppressors, the suffering forced upon so many was borne out of a 500-year old grudge; that the mindless vindictive horror could possibly be related to a 14th century dispute had never entered my mind. But here it was, clear as day - Mladić and his murderers thought of Bosnian Muslims as Turks.
Mladić is still free, to live a life of which he deprived so many. Were he ever to be apprehended, I would like to ask him 'really?' Is some ludicrous, infantile notion of ancient revenge responsible for my grandparents death, for my father's grief? Is it responsible for the loss of my brother? Is it responsible for the ethnic cleansing - not civil war - that took place in my country? Can a sense of historical injustice - however misplaced - cause such horror?
Before I was brave enough to answer those questions myself, I had dinner with the mothers of Srebrenica and asked them first.
Though all of their sons, brothers and husbands were murdered by Radovan Karazdic, Slobodan Milosevic, Mladic and the Serbian army, could they find a similar hatred in their hearts? Could they even contemplate killing Milosevic's child? Could they kill Karazdic's child? Could they kill Mladic's child?
Their answer was a resounding no. As is mine. Because I was a sister once. I am a daughter. I am a mother. And, what those men did, was not war. It was evil.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.