Jumping off a Bridge: Lessons Learned on How Not to Cope with Divorce

Recently I heard about a divorcee who committed suicide by jumping off a large bridge near her home. She left two bereft kids who likely will be scarred for life-- as well as shocked and traumatized family and friends. This is a tragedy that may have been preventable.

After a serious stress like a divorce (number two after death of a spouse or child) it is common to be depressed to the point of not caring, to feel despondent and sometimes like it would just be easier to end it all. To stare at the wall of a balcony or a bridge and imagine sailing over and simply putting an end to the pain. And at the same time, expressing all your pent-up anger and rage in some fatal act that makes your ex pay, in a rather public display, for all the ways that he or she betrayed and wounded you.

But while we can feel this way, the vast majority of us know that this is not the best way to go. Our children, our families, our loved ones need us. And if that is not sufficient motivation to carry on, consider this: We need to honor and come through for ourselves as our own beloved heroines.

So how do we not disappoint ourselves and others? Well, here are five actions that you should avoid so as to better weather a break-up:

So there you have a recipe of what to avoid. So that your pain and suffering do not drag you and the whole family down. So that your future is a good and fulfilling one. Remember, for every divorcee who jumps off a bridge, there are literally thousands who triumph and build wonderful new lives for themselves after a divorce. In fact things get better and better for them! If you want to read about one such dramatic story, pick up a copy of Hoda Kotb's new book "Hoda." Hoda survived her divorce and has constructed a beautiful, rich, fun-filled life. For more on how to build resilience and turn crisis into opportunity, go to www.lovein90days.com