When Parents Go to Prison, Children Are Punished Too

When I was a rookie TV reporter covering crime I got the chance to go on an early morning drug raid with the Newark, N.J., Police Department.

We met at a station house in downtown Newark at 3 a.m., sleepy eyed, coffee in hand, but ready for the pre-raid briefing. Naturally, I had brought along a camera crew.

We filmed the squad room briefing, the crew filmed me being outfitted in a bullet-proof vest (the crew got vests, too) and then we captured the scene as we set off in a slow, quiet convoy of police cars toward the intended target's home.

It was a lower-middle class, mostly minority neighborhood of attached houses. Think Archie Bunker's house as it nestled up immediately next door to the Jeffersons'.

There were no sirens or flashing lights that pre-dawn morning and everyone spoke in whispers, if they spoke at all. Every step of the operation was carefully planned, including the fact (initially unknown to me) that a social worker was coming along.

Once out of the cars and at the foot of the concrete front stoop we were instructed, via hand signals, to get behind the first few officers, those directly behind the battering ram guys.

Then -- WHAM! In an instant we were inside the house and police were shouting instructions to those about to be arrested. A man and woman lying on a mattress on the dining room floor were rousted from sleep. A stash of drugs and at least one weapon were located not far from where they slept. He was being handcuffed, she was shouting, then as the seriousness of the situation sunk in, her cries turned into deep, rattling shrieks.

My attention was suddenly jerked away by the sound of a sobbing child. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light I saw there were two. The girl, in a sweet little nightgown, appeared to be about seven and was crying and holding her violently shaking arms outstretched in her mother's direction. The toddler boy in diapers was oddly quiet but alert after the sudden burst of activity.

That's when I noticed the female social worker steering them away and out the front door.
As a mother I've never forgotten that scene. It still brings a lump to my throat.

And since that day I've wondered -- what about the children of those taken away to prison?

Here are today's startling facts: At least two million children in this country have a parent behind bars. Some experts in the field believe it could be more like 10 million children who currently have or have recently had a parent in some sort of detention facility. Numbers are hard to come by because often the adults won't admit they have children and the children don't come forward out of shame.

Many children who are old enough to understand the situation become deeply angry, ashamed and suffer feelings of isolation and depression. They do poorly in school, especially if separated from their parent for a long time. They endure financial and psychological hardships. None of it is their fault, of course, but they often feel as though it is. They worry about the safety of their missing parent.

As the parent is punished so is the child.

No one argues the parent should not be incarcerated for the sake of their children. But there are many who argue we should be doing more for these kids. There are studies that conclude if we fail to help them maintain their equilibrium we condemn many to follow in their criminal parent's footsteps. Various small studies are cited indicating children of offenders are five to 10 times more likely than their peers to end up in prison.

To fail to help now could mean a terrible cycle will continue and our prisons will remain full in the future. In other words, pay now for some programs or pay much more for lengthy incarcerations later.

I can't tell you how many times over the years I've thought about that young girl and boy I saw in Newark during what had to have been the scariest moment of their lives. I tried to follow up on their story but juvenile privacy laws meant the public would never know.

Did they go to live with relatives or into foster care? Did they get to visit their parents in lockup? Did they get a good education? What was society obligated to do for them after their parents took such a wrong turn in life?

Next week: prison-based programs for kids like this and why putting children and parents together helps both.

Diane Dimond's website is www.DianeDimond.net. She can be reached at [e-mail].

Comments

[skruff]

One of my favorite pass times is perusing liberal blogs to determine "issues of interest" Traditionally any thread dealing with "prisoners" "children" or "old folks" get few hits when compared to issues where oil, the stock market, or taxes are discussed.

Massachusetts had a great forward-looking program in their prisons, and youth facilities in the 1970's. Governors King, Dukakis, and Weld dismantled these programs without so much as a peep of protest from the Commonwealth's citizens.

My guess is "liberals" and "conservatives" are not as far apart in their idology as they might like to believe. ...at least where these issues are concerned.

[scire]

ya think? Many of my students have fathers or mothers in prison or who have been in prison or jail sometime since they've been alive. It messes them up big time. And guess what? Most of them become part of the juvenile justice system at an early age. And the cycle goes on . . .

[WilliePilgrim]

This is a serious issue and thanks for bringing it to our attention. The one thing it really asks, however, is when did the idea of prison being the punishment actually arise? Where did it come from? Read history and find that modern prison is a product of the enlightenment when progressive thinkers, believing that no rational human would commit serious crime, proposed that criminals be given room in a monestary (hence the word "cell" for "room") where they'd reflect on their deeds until cognizant. Most crimes previously were dealt with directly and publically to send a message to the people that the punishment was fair and the price was paid. Now we consider that cruel and yet see no cruelty in what happens to families and what happens to those who have broken the law when in prison? Torture. It degrades the torturer as well. We'd be better off by having law-breakers first having to receive public corporal punishment...the rich mans and poor man's back side is just as sensitive to the lash and the message it sends to the public is loud and clear. Nothing beats peer pressure for deterrence.

[Diane Dimond - Huffpost Blogger]

WilliePilgrim - Thanks for this! I've thought so long about the plight of these children ... kids who have had no say in their terrible fate - and I'm just glad I have a forum now to write about them. Also, in the 2nd installment, you'll be able to read about the new programs in facilities nationwide that really do seem to be helping. Just wish there were more of them.
DD

[rroy]

There is no answer to this problem!The real identity of the problem is probably best described in two words,a "sick culture".
No one seems ro dare ask questions like,"just why in hell do these people have children?"In the vast majorety of cases they are not children of a married couple! More often than not their paternity is not even possible to establish due to the sexual promoscuety of the parents.
Yet this same sick culture decries the imagined evils of sexual education,availability and encouragement of the use of birth control and condoms,and choice and oportunuty,and yes maybe even compulsion, to terminate an unwanted,often tragic pregnancy.
So many human beings are just utterly stupid!
This is the same culture that calls people like me barbaric and evil,but is totaly blind to the barbaric and cruel behavior thay advocate,even encourage!

[Rockerbabe]

So children who do not have upstanding parents [in your eyes] are not worthy of decent treatment? No one chooses their parent(s) and some parents did not choose to be parents, but nonetheless, are doing the best they can. When children are torn away from one or both parents on an accuation, maybe we should adhere to the Constitution and treat people as innocent until proven guilty. Maybe, if there weren't so much politics wrapped up in drug bust, families wouldn't be so damaged. Families, if left alone, often take care of their own; which, if even done poorly, is often better than anything the state does for children.
Who cares about paternity? Even well-documented paternity for some fathers often doesn't mean that the men will care enough about their children to adequately provide for them or whose behavior is not something one uses as an example. Often women covort with irreputed men and in some, actually many quarters in ours society, any man is better than no man. The economics in our society also does not care about the consequences of job loss, loss of benefits, housing, education, etc. I think before we start tearing children away from their parents for dubious criminal infractions, we need to take a long, hard look at the consequences and just how did the parents come to find themselves in this situation.

[skruff]

There is not enough I can say in 250 words that will sufficiently condemn this system. I could begin with the "corrections system" which corrects nothing. The charges to innocent family members if a convict wishes to speak to his children (has anyone posting here paid for a call from a "correctional facility" recently?)

The column above addresses the plight of African American families in Newark, message to Diane Dimond the problem is equally disastrous in the largely white Main South ghetto in Worcester where there are also few fathers in sight.

The foster care system is a joke and has almost no beds for children over the age of 11. Children slept on the porch of my Ripley Street residence waiting for a bed to become vacant. They called the neighborhood "cinder gardens" because herds of unwanted unloved children roamed the streets burning and scavenging empty buildings in this once thriving second largest city in New England.

Many of the children passing through my home were third generation foster children being prepared (as 30% are) to join their parents in jail.

Once, Massachusetts attempted a partial solution. A blue blood Republican Governor instituted a furlough program. We heard about it briefly in 1988 courtesy Lee Atwater and his Willie Horton ad. The public was not informed of the many families this program helped, only of its one error.

So much for "helping" children.

[Rockerbabe]

Actually, the penial system in our country does a better job to teaching former upstanding citizens how to be better criminals, than the streets. The longer one is in prison, the better criminal he or she becomes. I often think this business of stigmatizing criminals, epecially teenagers engaged in sex, as sexual deviants for life, is causing a lot of damage to families across the broad sprectum of our society. Pretty soon there won't be anywhere for them or their children to go, except underground.
I often read the comments about how Christian this nation was or is or should be; but with such hateful attitudes toward children and their wayward parents, I wonder what Jesus would say. Conventional thinking is just that; and our society is conventional and not all that good at providing for the least of us.

[dudleysharp]

This is a heartbreaking problem - totally innocent children as the additional victims of their criminal parent(s).

The best solution is, obviously, remaining with the more responsible parent and/or moving in with the most responsible adult relatives.

Absent that, we have only foster care with the chance of adoption.

Possible, a much larger problem, in addtion, are the victims of violent crimes and how we assist in their rehabilitation, which should include, often, an entire family, which must deal with the financial, emotional and psychologocal effects of such crimes.

[Diane Dimond - Huffpost Blogger]

Dudley: I certainly hope you and everyone here reads part 2 of this column. I'll report on several programs that are actively invovled in helping prisoners be more responsible for the children they brought into the world. I just wish there were more of these programs. Hundreds are being services when THOUSANDS, MILLIONS need help. Love to hear your comments on the next installment.

[Burnsey]

So, we have a problem, but you suggest nothing in how to deal with the issue. What exactly do you propose we do about the situation?

I happen to be one of those "children" who grew up in foster care due to the criminal activity of my parent. I know firsthand about this issue, and wonder did you ever write an article based on these concerns before? If so, where can I read it? If not, WHY NOT? Was it not important enough at the time or did your "guilt" finally catch up to you?

I've grown weary of people in this country who tell us what our problems are, but give us no option or ideas in fixxing those problems. Always the problems, but never any solutions.

Foster care is no picnic, but living in a criminal household with drugs and violence is more damaging than the alternative. Yes, it is a flawed system, but what exactly do you propose? Having been in the situation for 17 years, even I couldn't tell you.

I wouldn't wish foster care on anyone, but often times it's better than the alternative.

[Diane Dimond - Huffpost Blogger]

Burnsey - As clearly stated this is part one of a two part column. Please check back next week to see that I suggest for how to deal with the situatiion.
You have my sympathies for the situation your parents left you to deal with. -- DDimond

[hippynanainblingland]

I certainly hope that your solutions include encouraging the fostering of these children by their most responsible (and sober) relatives, with help forthcoming from governmental agencies for the cost of fostering the kids.

Also, we need to emphazise that drug users should not be incarcerated at all, but TREATED!!!! We all know that drug use is not a crime, but a symptom of mental (un)health.

And lastly, the ultimate solution: LEGALIZE ALL DRUGS, take away the profit principle from the equation. Drug users could cede custody of their kids to sober relatives until, and if, they beat their problem, including alcohol and tobacco problems; and drug using non-parents should be discouraged from breeding until, and if, they beat their problem.

But such won't happen, as the drug lords and the government and commercial enterprises that live large from the proceeds will make sure their business continues uninterrupted.

[Sarahjan]

I was wondering where all these missing black fathers went!

[Sarahjan]

Tell that Barack Obama. I wonder all these black fathers went!

[WorkingClass]

That terrified little girl is stuck in your conscience. Good for you. The next time you hear the term *collateral damage* remember that little girl.

[Diane Dimond - Huffpost Blogger]

Working Class - I will never forget her as long as I live. - DDimond

[LiberalBuzz]

I remember once upon a time when we used to look at other countries as having draconian drug laws, Now we are one of the worst countries in the world for sentences for total BS. I could tell horror stories like you wouldn't believe after working for an appeals law firm.

We are crazily insane because we have let our legislators keep kow towing to prison and private prisons who are among the strongest lobbyists for long prison sentences. In California they are the number one lobbyist to keep increasing sentences even after the damage from these really dumb laws is apparent.

Unfortunately we no longer have candidates or legislators who have any cajones when it comes to saying no, because the other side will start screaming about being soft of crime, therefore they try to be even tougher and damage be damned.

We've gone nuts because of cowardly politicians and the costs are beyond belief in terms of human suffering and financial costs.

[Liberal2]

I agree.

One way to end the large numbers of imprisoned parents is to legalize all drugs. Let me explain.

First, almost all addiction occurs in people under twenty. Let pharmacies sell any currently illegal drug to anyone over twenty with a drug ID. Heavy fines and prison time to anyone selling to someone without that ID. Employers whose business has "public safety" issues could deny employment or terminate anyone with a current drug ID.

Prices of the drugs, while hopefully far below current street price, would include a surcharge to cover rehab for anyone just walking in...no private insurance required.

Here's the rationale: Drug gangs disappear from the streets; children no longer have access to drugs; petty and more serious crimes decrease because addicts have access to cheaper drugs and to rehab without criminal ramification; rehab'ed addicts have their drug ID revoked but if they wish to go back to drugs must get another ID, so employers know. Anyone under twenty-one currently an addict is immediately offered rehab....once out there wouldn't be a street dealer to go to.

Rage-inducing drugs (steroids, angel dust, etc) would not be legalized. But the user community for these drugs is too small to support a network of dealers. But pharmacists and doctors making these drugs available without medical need would be subject to the fines and prison time mentioned above.

Because addicted children would no longer age into the population of adult addicts, the addicted population would disappear.

[hippynanainblingland]

Or at least be substantially reduced... it might take a couple of generations for the problem to disappear.

[Diane Dimond - Huffpost Blogger]

Liberal Buzz - But don't forget the untold damage the drug trade and drug addictions do to society. Its hardly a victim-less crime. - DDimond

[LiberalBuzz]

The damage is meaningless compared to the damaged this prison/industrial complex has wrought. Legalize drugs, and use that money for education and drug treatment programs that actually work

You have no idea of what you are talking about but go educate yourself by going to FAMM and check out the destruction these horrendous sentences have caused.

http://www.famm.org/

[Rockerbabe]

Ms. Dimond: drug addition is a brain disease; all addition is a brain disease or pathology. When brain matter is exposed to additive substances such as alcohol, nicotene, barbituates, opiates, etc, the brain matter comes to prefer that substance over what is usually needed to make the brain operate correctly. Drug addition is often not a matter of choice, but a biological imperative for some individuals. I am sure you already know this, but it does bear repeating. We need to stop criminalizing drug addition and start putting people into drug rehab, 10 times if necessary. Treating drug addition or brain disease of this nature, is often cheaper and less damaging to children and families and ultimately society in general.

[booksnmore4you]

Google Norway and corrections or prison.

We're barbaric.