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Diane Gilman

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How I Transformed My Life After 50

Posted: 06/13/11 09:00 AM ET

"Fascinating!" said a group of TV executives on a flight from New York who recognized me as the "Queen of Jeans" with over one million loyal "Boomer Consumers" on HSN. For the next few hours we volleyed around the idea of my own reality show about the unique advantages of being a Baby Boomer. And why not? Reviewing the last four decades, I'm more at peace than when I was 20, more focused than when I was in my 30's, more glamorous than when I turned 40, and absolutely more "at the top of my game" than when I was in my 50's. The thought of inspiring millions of new viewers thrilled me. "We love it!" one TV exec said. "But does anyone want to watch old people on TV?" "Old people?" I corrected them. "Who said anything about old people?"

Don't get me wrong -- I live with the aches and pains that come with schlepping around a body for six-plus decades. And I've endured what felt like endless grief and exhaustion when I was my husband's caregiver through seven years of battling cancer. When he passed, I immediately felt a life of love, intimacy, and partnership had abandoned me, too. In my mid-50's, feeling defeated, I was alone and barely recognized myself. I couldn't even fit into a pair of jeans. So squeezing back into the dating world was definitely out of the question. I felt lost.

Then it got worse!

Suddenly I realized the women in my family live well into their nineties. Thirty more years of hopeless loneliness? No way! That was my "Rosa Parks" moment. It was then I made the decision: "Diane, stop going to the back of the bus! You don't need permission from anyone to live life on your terms. Just stop the clock. Age agelessly!"

Our perception of growing old is not a by-product of aging -- only a by-product of ageism. Stand-up for yourself if your contribution has gone from innovative to irrelevant in your profession. Scream, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it!" if you've gone from admired to undesired in your romantic life. This revolution will be televised (and tweeted, texted, and immortalized on YouTube!) but it has to start with you.

5 Easy Ways to Shift Your Thinking from Aging to Ageless

Make the List: Five years ago I made a list of everything about myself I didn't like and wanted to change. On the same page I made a list of all things feminine I wanted to embrace or achieve. No different from a general attacking the enemy on a battlefield, I turned around each area of my life. Overnight my life went from Bucket List to Boundless!

Play in Today: In my twenties, designing for Jimi Hendrix and other rockers from San Francisco to London, "living in the moment" was easy. Throughout the years, evolving into "The Jean Queen" on HSN, I'm confronted with staying relevant in fashion and television- - two industries driven by youth and beauty. My secret? Every morning I look myself in the mirror and say, "Today is the youngest you will ever be. What are you going to do with it?" Don't just stay in today... make it a point to play in today!

Break Through the Age Barrier:
Recently I was asked, "When are you going to stop making jeans for old ladies?" I had to laugh. "Honey," I replied, "there is nothing old about making ladies feel sexy at any age." Challenge yourself to break through the preconceived ideas handed down to us as women. As if you're in your fifth, sixth, or seventh decade, you must be "an old lady." Forget it! Just like Chuck Yeager breaking the sound barrier, my mission is to break through the age barrier by redefining what's sexy for Baby Boomer women now.

Picture This: Every moment of my life I imagine myself as a camera, with my heart as the aperture. I capture it all: the sights, smells, words, feelings. When you feel shut down, ask yourself, "Can I open my heart to new possibilities?" I'm living proof that when you do, more opportunities, productivity, fun and love are just waiting to come through. Remember, even a little light creates a big picture.

Think Tapestry, Not Atrophy:
My work enables me to travel the world, crossing paths with women of all lifestyles, ethnicities and ages. It's human nature to compare how we feel on the inside with how others appear on the outside. When that happens, think tapestry, not atrophy. Every woman's journey is a vibrant thread weaving its own unique path through the fabric of life. Turn a walk down the grocery aisle into a celebration of yourself. Make the ordinary extraordinary!

If you had told me going from aging to ageless was this easy, I never would have believed you. So along with everything else, I learned the hard way: on my own. Now that these five simple shifts in my thinking have created the five most successful, romantic and surprising years of my life, I want to share them with all my Baby Boomer sisters. It's never too late to make life better and make your dreams come true. So turn it around! Plant the seed that you, too, can age agelessly. Tend to the garden of your life by taking simple actions. And watch yourself blossom bigger than ever into the best Baby Bloomer you can be!

 
"Fascinating!" said a group of TV executives on a flight from New York who recognized me as the "Queen of Jeans" with over one million loyal "Boomer Consumers" on HSN. For the next few hours we volle...
"Fascinating!" said a group of TV executives on a flight from New York who recognized me as the "Queen of Jeans" with over one million loyal "Boomer Consumers" on HSN. For the next few hours we volle...
 
 
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12:26 PM on 07/03/2011
Wow! Awesome Attitude. Mine is turning to the positive. I just turned fifty this summer and at first I was appalled - I was broke and out of work, I had gained wieght, my body was doing wierd things with my period, the grey hairs were ( are ) wirey and corkscrew, I thought I looked old....but ya' know - at my new job all that life experience is paying off and coming out - I'm a leader to my younger collegues on keeping the stress down and having confidence - I'm popular! It's so much fun to bend those young minds with some comment and see there faces reflect " wow, who knew - she's pretty cool!" And my romantic life five years after divorce is surprisingly one of fending them off - hmmmm, which one do I choose???...I'm laughing harder and deeper and more lovingly at myself and you than ever - and getting you to laugh too. I'm more genuine and less concerned about what others will think with the confidence of knowing what is and is not appropriate to voice at any given time. I'm suddenly GOOD at self care and I don't just mean taking care of my body - I mean keeping boundaries, kindly but decisively. I can handle more challenges without the fear of imploding...this "Fifty Thing" - it's turning out OK! More fun than ever!!!
06:39 PM on 06/20/2011
I find it odd that the people here are all attacking the republicans in Jersey over this bill, when in fact it was Senate President Steve Sweeney, a Democrat and union man, who pushed hard for this bill to go through. Do people here just post comments or do they ever bother to find out the facts first? Why shouldn't state or government union employees pay a fair share for thier benefits, as the rest of us already do. Another interesting point is that this bill should save their pension plan from imploding. If it did go that route, then what, we all bail it out? Let them pay for it themselves.
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12:31 PM on 06/19/2011
I'd rather read a good book than have..........
08:27 AM on 06/19/2011
This woman had money, means and an established famous career before she got down in the dunk. It wasn't too hard for her to get out of it. I am not minimizing what she said she has done, but many of us are not that fortunate to have all the means to pick ourselves up.
07:32 AM on 06/19/2011
Sadly, too many commentors miss the point. The money and good job are "not" the magic keys to this woman's turn-around. Her belief and change of mindset are. We have so many social cripples in this world who look outside of themselves for salvation of every sort. If "you" don't believe its possible, it ain't happening. All of you doubters, rationalizers and excuse makers, quit alibi-ing and make a determined effort.Its like listening to a bunch of addicts consoling other addicts about people not knowing how hard it is to quit using, ergo, they keep using.
07:56 AM on 06/19/2011
You can NOT deny that having (a decent) income does make a difference! When you're burdened with no means to support your family, possibly on the verge of loosing your home, it takes all your strength just to get out of bed some days!

People who spout, "Reinvent yourself" or "Start your own business" usually have the financial means to do so.

It isn't until you are without financial support that you realize this.
09:49 AM on 06/25/2011
Yadda,yadda,yaddda. And your point is...what. Do nothing, throw a pity party, weep and moan. Read "Who Moved My Cheese". When you change what you believe, you change what you do. Nobody says its a cakewalk, but you play the hand you're dealt to the best of your ability. If money is your security blanket, I feel for you. It can disappear in a moments notice. If character, resolve and self confidence (and a simple faith that life itself "is" opportunity) no set of circumstances presents an impossibility.
07:18 AM on 06/19/2011
Its all in you attitude to life, and this woman found the strength she did not know she had. For all of you women that feel helpless, just turn that around and help yourself. Perhaps this lady had some good luck, but some good luck will show up if only a person looks for it.
07:26 AM on 06/19/2011
I looked every day for "luck" in the want ads...still looking.
07:14 AM on 06/19/2011
How I transformed my life in my early 50's was by realizing that the boys I'd been dating who were 10-20 years younger than me and having relationships with since my husband died when I was 40, had ceased to be entertaining. Except for one I see occasionally as a friend with benefits, who's accepted the fact that I don't want a relationship, I could care less about "having a man". It dawned on me that I like my own company and the company of family and friends, and don't want to put up with someone else. I thoroughly enjoy my independence. If I put on a pound or get another gray hair, big deal. I could care less about being a sexy 60 something. I don't have to go out and conquer new worlds to feel worthwhile. Been there, done that. The only person I have to please is me and I love it. This writer seems to have a problem with the word "old". There is no such thing as "ageless" unless you're a Greek statue in a museum. Hate to tell her but when you're a few years away from collecting a Social Security check, you are old. Old doesn't mean you give up on life or turn into a frumpy vegetable. It does mean you can sit back, take it easy and thoroughly enjoy the time you have left.
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08:21 AM on 06/19/2011
It sounds as if you are deep in crisis. Seek 'counselling' immediately!
09:27 AM on 06/19/2011
If anyone is in need of counseling, it is you. I'm happy and content, love my life, enjoy my family and friends, don't need to put on airs or pretend I'm a spring chicken, don't need a man "to complete me" but still have a sex life with a man 13 years younger, don't worry and fret over trivial things, am active, in great health and still working, think young enough for my 26 year old and his friends to enjoy my company and not treat me like an old fogie and free to do as I please. If that's your idea of being "deep in crisis", then I really have to question your sanity. What is so terrible about admitting you're old? It doesn't mean you're ready for the grave. Vampires may be ageless but people are not. There is no fountain of youth. Does it bother you that some people don't have a problem with aging and don't want to be botoxed?
06:55 AM on 06/19/2011
"Turn a walk down the grocery aisle into a celebration of yourself."

Um, not when you can barely afford the groceries! lol

While I appreciate what the author is trying to do, it's just not a realistic view. She has a successful career that, I'm sure, pays VERY well. This entitles her to many advantages most older women don't have today...the beauty treatments, nice wardrobe, etc. Yes, there's the inside too. However, the world sees, and judges, the outside.
06:44 AM on 06/19/2011
Are we a little jealeous? because Diane has money and the means to look younger.She is a human being with feelings just like all of us. We do not know Diane or her motives(heart) but she seems like a caring person who is sharing trials on her life trying to uplift older women with positive thinking. Postive is the way to go! AMEN
07:26 AM on 06/19/2011
No. "We" are not a little jealous, just realistic. So Donna don't read into comments something
that isn't there.
06:39 AM on 06/19/2011
Did Anthony Weiner Tweet his package to her?
06:37 AM on 06/19/2011
This reads like a marketing ad for Diane Gilman products.
05:31 PM on 06/19/2011
It is. The Baby Boomer aspect is her most-used talking point. That's why I find it ironic Gilman predates those years as I explained in an earlier post.
05:24 AM on 06/19/2011
lol
money, fame, good looks, hottie.,, yea, you can do that if you have it...

most women or men dont... lol. and that make s the difference..
03:50 AM on 06/19/2011
Diane injects herself every day with HGH (Human Growth Hormone). Its very expensive, somewhat contraversial and could be dangerous. She is always seeking the secret of youth... She is not growing old gracefully but is fighting it all the way. Anyone know if shes had plastic surgery :) ?
04:30 AM on 06/19/2011
Perhaps you shouldn't be so judgemental. We are all "fighting" aging in some way. Just getting out of bed in the morning fights aging. Our bodies are programmed (yes, programmed) to age and and break down. This is what nature has intended for you. If you don't fight nature will win even sooner. Personally, I'd rather fight.
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06:05 AM on 06/19/2011
If she was a major league baseball player, she'd be banned for using HGH. However, I'm not opposed to it in this case. She looks spectacular.
03:47 AM on 06/19/2011
While I take my hat off to Diane for her success. (she could have given up but didn't)..I guarantee you that she was not left penniless. She had the talent and the connections and the money to start her business. While she is encouraging try getting out of the middle aged rut when you dont have anything at all.
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03:34 AM on 06/19/2011
This is all jmo. First, it sounds like the author of this blog has a rather inflated ego, recognizing herself as "The jean girl" several times throughout the article. With the poor economy, people are lucky to be able to fly from Boston to NYC, with the price of gas and air travel. Travelling the world must be great! I'd love to be able to go around the world and meet different people. It sounds interesting. I just spent a year and a half to bring my family down to Disney World for 7 days. One year! wow.. I can see why other people are emulating this mood...