Can This Dog Be Saved?

If you love animals as I do, read on. If not, don't.

In 1998, my dog Molly saved my life. I was stuck at my desk all day, poring through my cluttered financial records in response to an IRS audit, trying to justify every single deposit to my account from three years earlier. I ignored a terrible pain in my leg. Molly came to get me about 7 p.m. and she let me know in unmistakable dog language that she had to go outside and that the audit could wait.

I took her outside, ran into my neighbors--a doctor and his wife (a nurse)--and asked them what to do about the pain in my left leg. They immediately noticed that my breathing was labored and told me to call my own doctor at once. I did, went to a nearby hospital, where I was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism. I learned that my lungs were filling up with blood clots, and that if I had not gotten medical treatment when I did, I would have died.

I owe Molly a big debt. Now she is very sick and strangely enough she has a lung problem too. Her lungs are constricted, and she is having trouble breathing. My local vet said she had congestive heart failure but it would take a week for him to get a sonogram to confirm the diagnosis. I whisked her off to a fancy veterinary clinic that I read about in the New York Times called New York City Veterinary Specialists, which is supposedly tops in every field of veterinary medicine.

At NYC-VS, the doctors quickly concluded that Molly did not have congestive heart failure, but that she probably had lymphoma, which is a cancer. Lymphoma, I learned, was responsible for filling her chest cavity with water and making it hard for her to breathe. After two days of hospitalization and extensive testing (at a cost of $3,000), Molly was turned over to a staff oncologist, who recommended that we start chemotherapy.

Last week, she had her first chemo, a drug called Elspar.

I should mention that Molly's major symptom is a very bad, hacking cough, that sounds as though she can't possibly draw a breath of air. The cough lasts about 10 seconds (which feels more like 10 minutes) and it is very upsetting to hear. The coughing occurs maybe 8-10 times a day. After she got the Elspar, she also had very bad diarrhea.

In between the periodic coughing episodes, Molly is usually alert, perky, and playful. She is not as active as she once was, but she is still our beloved friend.

Yesterday I took her back to the NYC-VS clinic for her second chemo. In the middle of the day, the oncologist called to say that Molly had not responded to the chemo, and she concluded either that Molly did not have cancer at all, or that she had a cancer that did not respond to chemotherapy. I asked what she would recommend. She recommended either more testing of an invasive kind (sedation, DNA analysis, bone marrow, etc.) or euthanasia.

I certainly would not consider euthanasia at this point, so I agreed to the testing. After some minutes of reflection, I realized that the tests would subject the dog to a painful set of procedures that would either prove that she has incurable cancer or come up empty as the earlier tests had. In the past, other vets have told me that sedating an older dog or a dog with respiratory problems is extremely dangerous. I decided to stop the tests, and I withdrew Molly from the NYC-VS custody.

I must say, I have seldom seen her so happy as the moment that I took her away. She ran for the double glass doors, leapt into the car, and was actually smiling (I know what her smile looks like). I had the distinct feeling that I had liberated Molly and for the first time since she fell ill, I felt happy too.

The ugly part of this story is that when I came to pick Molly up, no doctor met with me. In fact, I could not get the internist to answer my calls. I got the impression that the doctors were angry that I had interfered with their plans for more testing.

I think that the problem with this hyperspecialized clinic is that once they put the dog into the care of a specialist, no one could consider any alternative treatments. If she does not have cancer, something else is causing her pulmonary distress, but NYC-VS only wanted to find cancer.

Now, we are going to take Molly to see a renowned homeopathic veterinarian.

There may not be any cure for her illness, and I know that ultimately we will have to euthanize this beloved friend, but when it happens, I want to know (and I hope she knows) that we did everything possible to be sure that she got the best of care and was treated only by loving and kind hands.

Comments

[pegeen19]

I admire your ability to make this tough decision; compassion and the ability to hold in tension your hope and your realism will continue to guide you. I'm sure that your loving presence to your friend Molly will sustain her and ease her passage.

[MissFortunate]

She's YOUR friend, she's there for you. You will make the right decision and it's really up to you. It's obvious how much you love her and I'm upset that people would urge you to let her go. Regardless if they feel it's wrong, it's not up to them.

I hope you both the best :)

[lapoutlander]

Be thankful for the time but remember the time belongs to your furry friend.
http://www.petloss.com/poems/johnq/timetogo.htm
http://www.petloss.com/poems/johnq/sickpet.htm

[Marian3]

My dog currently has CHF and the same 'hacking' cough. If your dog's lungs are filled with fluid, then lasix will help with that (regardless of the cancer).

If your child were sick, and you weren't satisfied with the treatement you got from a doctor...would you try to find someone 'nicer'? Or would your primary concern be finding a competent medical doctor who could save your child's life?

TAKE YOUR DOG TO ANOTHER VET.

My dog, who is also my beloved companion, is dying. There is no 'cure' for her congestive heart failure. However, I took her to a cardiologist, who is one of the best. It's not cheap, but it was worth it. My dog was treated with nothing but love and kindness by the doctors. The cardiologist even remarked at how *happy* my dog is...and that if it wasn't confirmed by tests...she's have never believed she was in CHF.

My dog hates going to see doctors. She's always happiest when we're leaving. But because she's seeing good doctors she's doing better. Between seeing the doctors and the medication we're using, she may be fortunate enough to get several good years out of it.

Homeopathic "medicine" is a horror show. Please, PLEASE research this a little bit. I know, believe me I know, the temptation to grab on to anything that seems a lifeline...but you don't just stand to lose money by pursuing quackery, you can also put your beloved dog through some very nasty suffering.

Sometimes the answers are things we don't like. At least they are in my life. The solution isn't running around until we find someone who will say what we want to hear, it's doing what we can, where we can, to make it a little bit better and easier. In the case of Molly...you haven't gotten a definitive answer. There's still the possibility based on your article she doesn't have cancer.

But you need to take her to a real doctor.

[MaryKaye]

*sigh* For those of us who choose to share our lives with lives more fragile than our own... it is a journey. Good luck and best wishes.

[Rosanneofpgh]

I had to have my 19 y/o Yorkie euthanized last year. It was the hardest decision Ive ever had to make and the most painful one.

I still miss my little Skeeter so much but I KNOW that I did the right thing for him. He was ill and in pain from arthritis despite the medication I gave him.

I mourn him today as much as I did the day he died. In retrospect, I think I should have made that decision well before I did. I kept him alive past his time because I loved him so much and didnt want to let him go. Thats the only regret I have; that I kept him alive longer than I should have for my own selfish needs.

His passing was very quiet and peaceful. I was holding him as he breathed his last breath.

Diane, I sympathize with you most sincerely, but you MUST put your beloved pet's needs before your own.

There is a story called "The Rainbow Bridge" that might give you some comfort when you and Molly decide that her time has come.

[dexxjones]

i had an 11 yearold golden retriever diagnosed with the same thing. at the very last moment, and NOT for myself, but for him, i consented to have him treated. (chemo and radiation) as i felt in my soul that he had some good time left in him. during his treatment he had another condition and everybody told me he was done for. it would take a miracle, blah blah. i followed my gut and he lived another full year and a half. good living, i might add. full days in central park. it was outlandishly expensive and i took a lot of heat, but in the end, all of the naysayers agreed that it had been a good call. the vets have a habit of trying to soothe people who cant afford the treatments. i did and am glad i did. the story is, of course longer than i can put in a chat box, but my main advice is that you know your dog. if you think she has more life to live, and if you have the money, dont listen to the "outs" that people will give you.

[snaggster]

You've left out a critical piece of info. How old is this dog. I find that euthanizing old, sickly dogs to be one of the most difficult things to do. It's also the kindest. Please don't let it go to the bitter end. You'll feel horrible in the moment, but after some time you'll know you did the right thing if you do not make her suffer for your sake.

[indypete]

As a dog guy myself, I feel for you. The choice of euthanasia is always a difficult one. I hope I can get it for myself when the time comes. That would be a much easier decision to make than doing it to my dogs.

[chilifan]

It sounds as though most of the replies here assume that Molly is already doomed. However, in your post you mention that Molly's vet said that either she is not reponding to the chemo or that she doesn't have cancer at all.

It seems to me that you know what to do. You love your dog, and you are trying to find the best way to treat her. As long as she is not showing signs that she has given up, which are not very difficult to spot in a dog--lack of appetite being the most obvious sign, as well as a substantial change in sleeping patterns and personality, I think there is very good chance you will not have to make that awful decision any time soon.

My dog seemed very ill recently, but it turned out she has allergies, just like I do, which are easily treated. My vet was fantastic and seemed almost as concerned as my husband and I were, but he wasn't the first vet we went to. That one scared us to death, and his diagnosis was wrong.

I really think you will know if and when the time comes to say goodbye to your dear friend, because she will let you know, and you will do the right thing. She may have a few years in her yet, especially with the right diagnosis and treatment. Good luck to her and to you, and hang in there!

[cindyward]

Diane, I am so sorry to read of the illness of your beloved companion. I know from painful first-hand experience that losing a furry member of the family is terribly painful.

I lost my German Shepherd to lymphoma a year ago. I don't think lymphoma is very difficult to diagnose, and I would be surprised if your regular vet had missed it. My vet gave me an immediate tentative diagnosis and confirmed it the next day with a lab test on fluid drawn from a lymph node.

I hope you are able to get an accurate diagnosis from the homepathic vet so Molly can receive appropriate treatment as soon as possible. Best wishes for both you and Molly from my two Pekes and me ... Cindy

[ProfessorVP]

This is a tough situation. You can't ask Molly what she really wants and she can't tell you. All I am saying is, it is not necessary to go the whole nine yards and try everything just for your own conscience. The priority should be Molly. I wish you and her the best.

[alkamm]

Our dog, Caesar has squamous cell cancer. They've lopped off his ear, cryo-surgically removed bumps in his ear and on his eye. He's still full of life, but the day will come that despite his will to live, he will be in so much pain that we might have to euthanize him.
I'd prefer he did not suffer, and I think I'll have to monitor my own compassion and balance it with a cold eye for Caesar's comfort.

[Bacchus]

First, our prayers are with you & so sorry for your sorrow and what Molly is going through as well. I went through saying goodby to my Dalmation a few years ago and still miss Oliver and think often of the walks and all the times we had together. There comes a time when you have to let go and say goodby and Molly will understand, I am sure of this. They sense these things. You will know when that time is as I can tell the love and devotion you feel for Molly. The important thing is for her not to suffer and the therapy can be painful at times. Thinking of you and Molly and let us know if you can how you are all doing.

[hilow64]

As much as it's gonna hurt,I think it's past time to help your old friend take her last journey.

It really sounds as if it would be true knidness to let her go peacefully and quietly.

I've had to make that decision before,and it hurt as deeply as any heartbreak I have ever felt,but Ralph(my Lab),died a dignified death in my arms,and his pain was no more.

[Hollyse]

In Caring this poem.....

"Your Name"

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart
and forever it will stay.