Sign O' the Times

11/02/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

I really don't care who people vote for. Okay, maybe I care a little, but what I'm mostly concerned with is that people care about who they themselves are voting for. That's why I find the homemade sign "KOREANs 4 McCAIN" (pictured below) so appalling.

Seen this week on McCain Blogette, Meghan McCain's "Musings and Pop Culture on the Political Trail" blog:

Shannon Bae, filmmaker and member of Meghan's blog "team," in Sacramento

To put it mildly, it is a piece of dogshit. The "s" tacked on to the end of "KOREAN" suggests one of two rather dismal possibilities: 1) there is only one "Korean 4 McCain" in Sacramento, and he/she only realized after beginning to make the sign that honestly representing that reality would be soul-crushing or 2) the signmaker is a piss-poor planner (which, frankly, is not very Asian). Either way, nothing explains why the signmaker didn't, upon realizing his/her mistake, chuck that poster in the trash -- or why there are random polka dots (or stars?) haphazardly scattered on it for "flair" -- and make a bigger, badder, and more bitchin' sign for their candidate.

Now, let's talk about the font. It looks suspiciously like a half-hearted attempt at Chinese Take-Out script that was abandoned midway for a wholly uncompelling reason. Like, suddenly the signmaker realized that his/her frozen-then-reheated lasagna had been languishing in the microwave for twenty minutes and was perhaps now cold. Or that The Mentalist was on and Simon Baker is probably enough of a reason to watch the second episode of CBS' panty-dropping procedural even though the first was comically awful. Or that, okay, the signmaker has finally run out of clean underwear, and the laundry simply couldn't wait another day.

And I haven't even begun to weigh in on the "CHINESE-AMERICANS ♡ MCCAIN" poster in the background. You may not be able to tell, but the heart between "Chinese-Americans" and "McCain" is made of glitter. It's difficult to make that out because those sparkly bits were applied so stingily that I can only assume the person who made the sign actually hearts nothing. Because glitter = love. Glitter = joy. And perhaps most importantly, glitter = excess. And if Chinese-Americans really ♡ed John McCain and wanted to make that statement shimmer, I'm pretty sure, as both a card-carrying Chinese-American and a glitter-lover, that their poster would have looked something like this:

Of course, there's always the possibility that these signs look like key-rap because the people who made them aren't totally totally "4 McCain," and their "♡s" aren't really in this. In which case, well, that explains everything.