I spent an hour the other day looking for an interesting article about women over 50. Not one of the articles I read fed my interests. Perhaps too much of my self-image was formed by television in the 1970s.
For example, I always thought that as I aged I'd be a lot like feisty Grandma Walton. That woman was respected for the fight in her heart, the wisdom in her words, and her ability to stand at the ironing board, ironing clothes ad infinitum.
Grandma W. always had the solution to any problem, delivered in the same white apron. That was my picture of age -- slightly grouchy, still active, dispensing words admired by children who both feared and respected me.
Today I entered a restaurant where a group of women from the local retirement home were wearing antlers on top of their heads and had smiles on their wizened faces. "I want to be like these women," I thought. Granted, I think this particular group was from the dementia care unit, but so what? They were having a blast without worrying about the size of their lips or their stomachs.
So, I continue to search for fascinating articles about women over 50.
I look for information on how to improve my writing, find new opportunities at work, or serve the world. Instead, I find topics that are very similar to the ones I used to read in Tiger Beat as a 13-year-old.
You know, how to look good to guys, get a date, and find the perfect haircut.
At 13, I looked forward to shedding my acne and bicuspid fangs and experiencing those days of glowing sexual tension. I kept Clearasil in business. I sprayed myself orange with QT, hairless with Neat, and turned my hair yellow with Sun-In. I did it all, and I did it with enthusiasm.
Why? Because I was a pre-teen who believed that if I looked good enough Bobby Sherman and his blue eyes would appear before me proclaiming his love. I worried about my looks because my brain was not yet fully developed.
But now I'm 55-years-old, and while I'm sometimes surprised at the woman I find in the mirror, mostly I find her to be a lot like a Shar Pei . . . wrinkled, but valuable.
So, I look for ways to be as intelligent and wise as Grandma Walton. I want to stand in front of my 20-something children and say something so freaking intelligence that they drop to their knees and beg forgiveness for their sarcastic comments and rolling eyes.
Instead, I'm back to looking hot, dating the right guy, being sexually attractive, and wearing the right clothes. With the knowledge that none of this will bring me Bobby Sherman, I'm bored.
I don't want to read articles with title such as, "Age is about wisdom but for God's sake inject that face with something other than wisdom, will you?"
Apparently, women who brought home the bacon and fried it up in a pan are now expected to age with both wisdom and without a wrinkle. We're being advised by the newest Marabel Morgan, only we've traded our Saran Wrap for liposuction and Botox.
Perhaps I should be more concerned about the way I look. Maybe my husband would like to see me in something other than jeans and track shoes. Perhaps people in the lunch cafe would rather not see my back fat.
But here's the problem -- I'm going for wisdom. I'm going less Kris Jenner and more Mother Teresa. I have to wonder if anybody would have conducted an interview with Mother Teresa and asked:
While feeding the starving in Calcutta, did you ever consider getting rid of those hideous lip wrinkles so you can look attractive and serve others at the same time?
Do you ever wish you could give that leper a makeover?
As I consider the wisdom of Esther Walton, I wonder if my wisdom potential is tainted by the fact that I once outran a police cruiser with my kids in the car and cut my lights as I entered the cul-de-sac?
Would Grandma Walton have told her college-aged daughter to run out on the football field after a big win even though the administration told them not to?
Would Grandma Walton have fed the children macaroni and cheese out of a box for so long that her daughter didn't know what real shredded cheese was the first time she saw it?
So, I don't measure up in the wisdom department. But I still don't care about my spreading middle, or my matronly shoes, or my wrinkled face. I've earned it all.
And I'd like to mention that no matter how youthful our appearance, there is no such thing as turning back the clock. Benjamin Button is a fictional character.
The choice is this -- do we leave this world a better place, or do we leave it without a wrinkle on our face? Because no matter how young we look, we will still leave. And in the act of our bodies shutting down, our faces will naturally lose their wrinkles. So, in the end, all will be equal.
Until then, while I might not be coiffed and able to dispense wisdom flawlessly, I consider myself a learner who studies best in comfortable shoes. I'm still striving for wisdom.
Perhaps, for now, I will just binge-watch "The Waltons," and take notes when Grandma Walton whips out that ironing board.
Betty White
AP
Doesn't it seem like Betty White has been around since David torpedoed Goliath with a slingshot? Our favorite golden girl is only 94 though. Even though Miss Betty White began her career in the 1940s on radio, and later appeared on late night talk shows and game shows (including "Password") in the 50s and 60s, she wasn't really a household name until, at the age of 51, she began playing "The Happy Homemaker" Sue Ann Nivens on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" (1973-1977).
Morgan Freeman
Getty
Who doesn't love Morgan Freeman? This Academy Award winner paid his dues and then some. Freeman worked for several years as an actor, but really came into his own playing chauffeur Hoke Colburn in "Driving Miss Daily" at the age of 52 (although he was 50 when he was nominated for Best Supporting Actor in the film "Street Smart").
Sharon Osbourne
Getty
Heavy metal vocalist Ozzy Osbourne has been famous for over 40 years as lead singer of the English band Black Sabbath. His wife, Sharon, however, did not become a household name until their family reality show "The Osbournes" premiered on MTV in 2002. Just barely 50, Sharon became a media darling, which opened up many doors. She went on to become a judge on "America's Got Talent" and has been co-host of the CBS daytime show "The Talk" since it debuted in October 2010.
Regis Philbin
Getty
Regis Philbin was comedian Joey Bishop's sidekick on the ABC television show "The Joey Bishop Show" from 1967 to 1969 and hosted his own local talk show -- "A.M. Los Angeles" -- from 1975 to 1983. But his name wasn't exactly on the tip of our collective tongues until he became a daytime staple with Kathie Lee Gifford in 1988 on "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee" when he was 57. His vibrant, caustic, yet fun-loving personality pushed him over the top sometime after the show began to gain in popularity with daytime viewers.
Abe Vigoda
Getty
Born in 1921, Abe Vigoda captured the role of Salvatore Tessio in the film "The Godfather" in 1972 at the age of 51. His next big role came in 1975 when he signed on to play Sgt. Phil Fish on the television series "Barney Miller." And that's when Vigoda -- who passed away in 2016 -- really became a household name.
Tom Bergeron
Getty
Sure, Tom Bergeron became the host of "Hollywood Squares" in 1998 and of "America's Funniest Home Videos" in 2001, but he didn't really become widely known until joining the wildly popular "Dancing With the Stars." The amiable host was 50 when the show premiered in 2005. After more than 20 seasons as host, it appears he's a keeper.
Mike Wallace
Getty
Maybe Mike Wallace was well-known in some hard-core news circles, and perhaps he was on a first-name basis with a few news junkies many moons ago, but it wasn't until he laid his groundwork as a superb gotcha reporter on "60 Minutes" which he did from 1968 (after he turned 50) until 2008 -- that his star really began to shine. This well-respected news journalist sadly passed away on April 7, 2012 at the age of 93.
Samuel L. Jackson
Gabe Ginsberg via Getty Images
Born in 1948, Samuel L. Jackson appeared in more than 100 films before the age of 40. However, it was only after he landed the role of a hitman in "Pulp Fiction" in 1994 that his star really began to shine. For this performance, Jackson received a Best Supporting Actor nomination.
Andy Rooney
Getty
Andy Rooney is another personality that seems to have been around since the beginning of time, and we're all glad to have been the recipients of his off-the-wall satirical takes on human nature. In 1978, at the age of 59, Rooney began his "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney" segment on the CBS news show "60 Minutes," continuing through 2011. He made us laugh, he made us cry, he made us think. It doesn't get better than that. Rooney died on November 4, 2011 at the age of 92 only a few weeks after his last appearance on the show.
Joy Behar
Getty
Joy Behar was 54 when she was cast as one of the original members of "The View," which made its debut in August 1997. A few years before that, you could catch Behar doing hilarious stand-up comedy on television. But she only became a household name sometime after "The View" became a must-see, daytime television talk show.
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