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Donna Marsh O'Connor

Donna Marsh O'Connor

Posted: August 17, 2010 12:44 PM

In February of 2002 a group of family members of 9/11 victims formed September 11th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows in order to challenge the ever inflating sentiment and hysteria that led our nation into (eventually) two wars; that led to the death of thousands of U.S. servicemen and women, countless civilian casualties, and an era of perpetual fear-mongering perpetrated by politicians that today places us squarely in the viral debate over a place of worship near Ground Zero.

Despite the fact that PT (as we often like to call ourselves) has been around from almost the beginning, it is this acrimonious debate, fueled by the mainstream media's voracious appetite for angry controversy that our voices are sought after.

When we asked for an end to the sentiments of retribution and hostility. Did anyone hear?

We asked for an end to war. More wars followed.

We try to hold Barack Obama true to his promise to close Guantanamo Bay, to follow the rule of law and the American Constitution. This is still a work in progress.

Each and every day, in one way or on one issue or another, we fight to have our voices count in the seemingly monolithic deployment of "9/11 families believe, think, say...", but we rarely hear our words echo above a whisper.

But now as our nation is engaged in the primal battle over what constitutes racism, religious freedom, and religious persecution, we are asked why we would support a mosque at Ground Zero. In part I think because the media would love, even if they don't know it, to see 9/11 families once and for all, finally, duke it out.

Why would we support a mosque at Ground Zero, particularly when there are many families who say it pains them? And, too, because we know it really does. We are all, 9/11 families in pain.

Our answer is the same as it has always been -- because it's American. It's the myth and it's mythic, the rubber hitting the road. We take as a given that we are a land that is at once intolerant and, too, always ready, willing and able to confront our transgressions, to correct our intolerant tendencies. For members of September 11th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows it's our family members' legacies, each, one by one, gone at the hands of criminals. They lived here. They died here. We went to many wars to fight for this place, for this place to be a land free from religious persecution. To us it is painful to sit by and wait for the hating to stop because it never does.

And even as I write these words certain that I am a member of the right group, that our particular American voices are necessary in this debate because we are on the side of principles and values, even now, I, as do my colleagues, worry that we are treading on sacred space. Not Ground Zero sacred space, but on the space that says in America we cast a grave aspersion when we call others intolerant or racist. How can we do this to fellow family members, fellow friends and survivors of 9/11? Their pain is real, but allowing it to stop any group from the full extension of the rights allowed simply wrong.

One of my colleagues in a discussion today asked in just this way. So I have to ask this...Is PT supporting a mosque, per se, or certain important principles and values that are brought to light by this issue? Is there some way PT can go a step further and deeper into the heart of this matter than just representing a "side" of the matter?

How do we, as we invoke what we believe to be the voices of reason, siding with the intellectual voices of America's founders who, anticipating that feelings often get in the way of reason, crafted a Constitution that would stand despite the pain of some, no matter how horrible that pain may be, hurt other 9/11 family members? We recognize that we are all in pain. And we go forward. We do what is right.

And we remember that America's promises can never be fulfilled without pain and sacrifice. And this time, it must be this way.

We do support important principles. We stand for the best of our collective values. We do support the mosque.

Donna Marsh O'Connor, who lost her pregnant daughter Vanessa Lang Langer in the collapse of the twin towers, is a national spokesperson for September 11th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows.

September 11th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows is an organization founded by family members of those killed on September 11, 2001. Currently comprised of over 200 families, the group advocates nonviolence and adherence to the rule of law in the pursuit of justice and accountability.

 
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Darrick Ensey
Obama 2012!
06:08 PM on 08/26/2010
One of the most simple yet eloquently written pieces that describe America's values and how we have slowly but surely forgotten how the Constitution protects everyone equally, at all times.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
demomntgirl
08:43 PM on 08/25/2010
Every American should read this.

These Muslims did nothing to "you" in the past, and are doing nothing to you now. Except trying to improve the community they live in.
Muslims did not attack us...al-qaeda did. Pres. Bush begged for people to not turn on Muslims, they are a peace loving religion and people. Only the extremists of the religion are filled with violence and hate. Just as the KKK is an extreme of Christianity.

You allow the terrorists to win....and control you...with every day you spout hate! B/c they have turned YOU...into them!
09:02 PM on 08/25/2010
demomntgirl, I agree completely. You, and Donna O'Connor are so eloquent in your support of the best principles of our country. I believe that today's hate will fade, only to be replaced by the next hate d'jour; but the principles will support us all then. History will show you and Donna to be the real heroes.
02:59 PM on 08/19/2010
Where is the call by this author for the sensitivity to American pain? Where is the passion of her beliefs? Nowhere in this article. She writes as a rationalizing intellectual, devoid of feelings. An overwhelming majority of Americans [including conservative, for you demonizing progressives] support their RIGHT to build the mosque. Unlike the president, we question the wisdom of continuing to inflict significant emotional pain upon so many. It would be like me saying "If this author loved her dead pregnant daughter killed in the twin towers terror attack a little more she might be more passionate about this issue." I have the legal right to say something like that, but it wouldn't be very sensitive. And for anyone that chooses to take umbrage with this post, take a tip from the author and get over it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Nosybear
Liar, damned liar and statistician
11:42 AM on 08/18/2010
But Americans in the 21st century don't DO pain and sacrifice! It's too much to expect of us that we cut down our driving or drive fuel-efficient cars, it's too much to imagine that we'd give up having more cheap Chinese stuff for higher quality domestically-made stuff. It's unimaginable that we actually get good information from our news media or that we take the time to actually think about what it means. It's too much to ask that we break out of our comfort zones or unlearn our propaganda to actually know what other cultures or religions believe or think when it's very easy to generalize and think of all Moslems as a threat. It's not American in this day and age to think of tolerance, of hearing the other's position and thinking about it as if it may be true when it's so easy to resort to chat-room etiquette and ad-hominem attacks. We are not a nation that believes in pain and sacrifice: Who aside from those who volunteered to fight has been affected by our two current wars? We were not even asked to fund them, instead their costs became part of our deficit. We don't do pain and sacrifice, we want it now and we want lots of it. And we don't care about values such as religious freedom, just give us bigger bangs and simpler plots.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
David Durham
Just a guy who tries to stay informed and stand fo
09:46 AM on 08/18/2010
How do you fight the intolerance and hate of religious extremists? How do you show the world that freedom for all is more than just words? Showing intolerance yourself won't do it. Hating in return won't do it. Either we have freedom of religion in this country or we don't and saying we have such freedom doesn't make it so. Such things take more than words. In the last decade we tried to export Democracy at gunpoint. We have killed thousands of civilians in the name of liberation. Our words don't match our deeds. Right now we can show the world that we mean what we say when we talk about freedom. The so-called 'Mosque at Ground Zero' would show Muslim extremists to be wrong when they say that America wants to destroy Islam. It would undermine their case more than any military action ever could. And think about this; every time a helicopter with an American flag on its side rescues a Muslim on the flooded plains of Pakistan we do more to win the War on Terror than a thousand drones could ever accomplish.
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castlerider
"A man's home is his castle"
09:12 AM on 08/18/2010
Humans have a bad trait, a faulty emotion that compromises their own intelligence, making them insist on believing that the world somehow revolves around THEM.
A perfect historic example's when Galileo was prosecuted, severely punished by the Pope & Catholic Church for saying his studies "Prove that the Sun doesn't revolve around the Earth, the Earth actually revolves around the Sun!" We all know what proved to be wrong and right on that, yet cowardliness of ignorance won that day. We should stand vehemently now on this, and follow Obama's what should be a call for bravery and FAITH in our written documents on this issue as well,

Now the GOP's being equally ignorant on this issue... Like GlennBeck ignorantly insisting these are endtimes, so future generations don't matter, only ours matters... As if the world revolves around HIM... They insist that this is the moment, that this generation MUST be served, like the world revolves around THEM.

But our Constitution is bigger, much bigger then this moment.
It has to be Bigger then this moment. There are many ways the tables can be turned, and still the Constitution best serves this nation in a manner that endorses religious freedom UNBRIDLED.
It's what we're made of. ! !
Ours is NOT THE LAST generation the Constitution will serve. Right wingers and people coming out against the 1st amendment on this are so short term and small-minded in their thinking, it's absolutely irresponsible, and downright ignorant.

Thanks, Donna
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tommy b
Yeh though I walk thru the valley of Death I fear
07:35 AM on 08/18/2010
I dont think the opponents of the center realize how many of our soldiers have given their lives in Iraq so that the Iraq people have freedom. One of that freedoms is to go Mosques After all they are Muslims
10:28 AM on 08/18/2010
I don't think you realize how many supporters of the Iraq War look back on it as a big mistake. Iraq doesn't want our way of life and we don't want theirs.

10 years ago most Americans knew next to nothing about Islam. Now we have learned about it through experience. There's a different mindset when it comes to Islamic issues.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
FearlessFreep
I'm actually a radical leftist
12:54 PM on 08/18/2010
Silly me, I thought that war had something to do with oil!
12:16 AM on 08/18/2010
Muslim Americans are our brothers and sisters. They are not engaged in 'jihad,' they want no special treatmnt, they came to this country for the same reasons as any other immigrants, to build better lives for themselves free of the constrants of the social orders of the old world from whence they escaped. The notion that they bring Sharia here to impose it on the rest of us is thus absurd.
They are Americans. They deserve the same loyalty you would show Americans of any color or creed. That was hat I was taught as a child. That was what my father and grandfather fought for in 2 world wars. That is embedded in theConstitution. If anything makes this country great, that is it.
02:56 PM on 08/18/2010
That statement can be applied to a lot of different groups. I'm no conspiracy theorist, but it does seem like there's an active movement to create second class citizens in the United States. In New York its Muslims, in California it's gays, in the south it's the same as it's always been. Doesn't it feel like a portion of what's left of the middle class is struggling to create another class that it can always be above no matter what the economic situation is?
09:28 PM on 08/18/2010
The population of the US continues to grow more diverse in everyway, and certainly those few with the greatest wealth and greatest political power are scared of it. It is in their interest to keep the middle class divided. It is not necessarily a conspiracy, but the result of groupthink - they keep to theselves and follow acceptible practices of thought and speech among their peers. But in public - as a manipulation of the public - yes, they are bent at belittling every difference.
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Heartlight3
Every act is an act of self-definition.
11:07 PM on 08/17/2010
I have heard a lot of people using "it is deeply painful to the 9/11 families" as their reasoning to oppose this community center. I have heard very few comments from actual 9/11 families stating their opinion. The ones I HAVE heard, however, have been in support of America standing true to our ideals as set forth in the Constitution. If there ARE 9/11 families who object to this center, I would like to hear from THEM how they feel about it.
12:30 AM on 08/18/2010
There are familes who object to the building of Cordoba House/Park 51. There is even a Muslim family of 9/11 victims who object to it.
And there are many families of 9/11 who do not object to it.
That is the greatness of this country. We allow difference of opinion, then abide by the law.
The building of Cordoba House is lawful. There can be no doubt of that.
It is a matter of opinion, but one well-justified, that in the long run it will be beneficial for many people of differing faiths in the diverse NYC community it is intended to address.
11:01 PM on 08/17/2010
The national insanity that has controlled this discussion has really shown that we are at war with Islam and that shredding the constitution that so many have fought and died for isn't that hard. Now if the community center doesn't get built we have lost the argument internationally and interfaith discussions are impossible. We seem not to have evolved any further than the 18th century. A strange country to have fallen so low in a few short years.
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brooklyncitizen
Quaerite primum regnum dei
10:38 PM on 08/17/2010
This is a great post. Even after watching our towers go down many of us marched against the wars and here we are years later with the same bad ME policies that contributed to the towers' destruction.

THe truth is that our govt was and is indifferent to the event and uses it as a political football to manipulate the nation into doing its corporatist bidding. Stay tuned.
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Wendy Davis
Banned!
01:40 AM on 08/18/2010
I agree. We are all pawns in a chess game, plastic soldiers that are being moved around haphazardly, on a whim, by men who are cheating at the game and failing even at that.
09:08 PM on 08/17/2010
I don't think many know what pain and suffering is, we are suffering because our computer slowed down or we had to wait too long in line at the airport... we don't know h \ow to get along when the power goes down or our beer is warn,, suffer yahh... if you want to suffer stand up for the things you want the other guy to do that you blaim on these web sights, or are you at ease that if you don't do something leaving it to some one else who an't gon do it you will leave it to your ill prepaired children to clean up your mess becae you did not have the spine to do it the old viking
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07:57 PM on 08/17/2010
To Ms. O'Connor's points:

When we asked for an end to the sentiments of retribution and hostility. Did anyone hear?
We asked for an end to war. More wars followed.

I noticed that the Veterans For Peace Memorial Day Observation in my town wasn't covered by our newspaper, either.
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darquelourd
You Get What You Play For
04:43 PM on 08/17/2010
you lost me with the "pain and sacrifice" part
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11:03 PM on 08/17/2010
That's too bad; you missed the even more important part about "...an end to the sentiments of retribution and hostility."
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04:28 PM on 08/17/2010
For those of you who haven't been paying attention, "America's promise" was replaced by "shock and awe" years ago.
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darquelourd
You Get What You Play For
04:43 PM on 08/17/2010
america's promise is really margarine not butter