THE BLOG

Moving From Addiction to Life, Liberation and Love

10/02/2013 11:40 am ET | Updated Nov 29, 2013

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Oscar Wilde

Addiction to recovery. No greater change happens in the life of a man or woman than moving into a place of real growth from compulsive drinking, drugging and or sexing. Real recovery that is. The unexpected variety where worn out beliefs and toxic emotions fade into the fabric of yesterday. Replaced by a new present. Looking ahead to a new future.

Not white-knuckling or "I just stopped on my own" with no personal growth work. Rather, the tough kind made of sweat and tears, where you cut through feelings of doubt and fear and muscle your way into hope and courage. All through surrender and letting go.

Wonder how it all happens. Move forward, fashion a new life, get past old, destructive habits to find new ground. Life-changing NEW GROUND. Like watching someone disappear at the wave of a magician's hand. And suddenly reappear. From non-being into someone - escaping death and coming back to life. When the journey seems insurmountable and the odds of getting there appear brutal.

One author argues that with all the prescriptions for personal development in our world today, the one thing that's missing is our tendency to focus on areas of life that don't really matter. Could be the new car, career advancement, the latest smart phone, etc. All of these are ideas of how to be happy in life. Instead, he argues, we need to focus on matters related to the soul and spirit -- and the exciting agendas that flow out of some kind of focus on intrinsic values, virtues and divine inspiration.

True recovery from addiction, especially in the later stages, depends on aiming high. Reflecting a desire to live a new life centered on a compelling vision of change and newness. One we have chosen. One that honors our intrinsic spiritual nature. Not just filling our lives up with new cars and collecting "things."

Success in recovery requires a new starting point, new beginnings filled with fresh joy, deep wells of love and a growing fearlessness. Goes beyond mastering slips and relapses but into a place where you tether yourself to what needs to happen next. And you stay anchored against the winds of relapse that unhook us from a new day. Decisions that support growth and encourage us to abandon false paths that lead nowhere.

So, some thoughts that lead somewhere new. Out of the prison of destructive, go-nowhere acting out. To looking inside and molding the spirit into desires that matter and heal. That lead to real love and belonging. Like clay in the potter's hand, carving out a new vessel placed in a brazen fire that hardens new habits and assumptions about life. The hottest fire that breads hope and aliveness. That can redefine you as a parent, lover, friend and even soul-mate to your wife.

1. Let go of despair - the infection of the "I will never change" or "I can't do it" virus. This means challenging negative beliefs that nothing new ever happens in your life. You created a life of addiction. You can create a life of conviction. Of solid beginnings and greater possibilities.

2. Think of your new life as a life of creation. Through meditation, prayer and determination, reflect on your own vision for a new life. With addiction, you haven't wanted much more than the next use or high. So what do you want? What excites you? Do your best to think "big" and don't limit yourself to possessions or goals that don't support a bigger vision of joy and contentment.

Life isn't' about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

George Bernard Shaw

3. Be mindful of the moment. Live in it, not outside of time where you bask in what could have been or may never be. Focus on what blessings may be present NOW or direction may be possible NOW. Cultivate belief in the possible. Believe in a limitless potential to start over, establish new habits and heal from wounds and scars that drove you to drink and use.

4. Cultivate courage - a new emotion that rivals the negativity you've probably lived with that extinguishes the presence of hope. Our attempts to replace discouragement and helplessness with courage go a long way. Find others who support you in this and who model courage in their own recovery and life path.

5. Act now - not later. How many attempts at recovery have been undermined by fear and never quite getting started? Actions that support our vision for our new life become essential. Name them, do them despite anxiety or fear and keep doing them. New habits come from new actions - not just ideas in our head.

Only one thing registers on the subconscious mind: repetitive application -- practice. What you practice is what you manifest.

Grace Speare

No one stands taller in life than someone who moves from compulsive addictions to a new life. Where the lure of instant gratification grows dimmer and dimmer, replaced with an irradiant light that glows stronger and stronger with time. Built on right choices and true surrender. Replacing the darkness with a shining happiness from the stark fire of inner change and sure peace.

Because a new life must be created, guided by spiritual principles of growth and change that we hold onto dearly and we consciously step into.

Find your path. The one marked by a resurgent love for self-care and love for others.

A path that connects with a deeper faith and consciousness that your story matters. Cared for and cultivated from above.

Meant for a dynamic life of care, compassion, forgiveness and hope.

A path that truly goes somewhere new.