Now, that's what I call a brave guy...he's not afraid of people calling him a pampered politician, a deluded Scrooge or a rich, heartless a-hole. No sir, he'll risk that, because he wants to help us! He's like one of those character-building dads in literature. Like Pap Finn.
Nor does Paul's paternal concern for us stop at unemployment benefits.
In fact, here is...
Doug's Dozen: 12 More Things Rand Paul Thinks Are a Disservice To Us
1. 40-hour work week: "Days off" encourage people to loll around with their families.
2. Public health programs: Punish taxpayers who have a natural immunity to polio.
3. Social Security: Discourages the pioneer virtue of working until you keel over.
4. Food stamps: Nothing combats childhood obesity like starvation.
5. Workplace safety rules: Hurt prosthetic limb manufacturers.
6. Peace talks: See above.
7. Public lifeguards: Pull a man from the surf, save him for a day; for a lifetime of safety, let him join a country club.
8. Student loans: Turn your kids into know-it-alls.
9. Taxes on billionaires: Where will our next generation of power-drunk aristocrats come from?
10. The Post Office: Every Christmas card you send for 46 cents cheats FedEx out of ten bucks.
11. Ending the filibuster: Threatens our central principle, that the minority rules.
12. Affordable health care: Causes you to see a doctor for every little fainting spell or rectal bleed.
Read's Doug's comic novel, Memoirs of a Time Traveler,
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