THE BLOG
10/03/2013 05:23 pm ET | Updated Dec 03, 2013

Doug's Dozen: 12 Signs Frank Sinatra Is Your Kid's Real Father

Ronan Farrow, the only biological child of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow? C'mon, look at the kid. Does he look like he watches Ingmar Bergman flicks? "Maybe Ingrid Bergman, baby. She was one swingin' doll!"

Woody called him Satchel. But now he's Ronan. And apparently, Mia was roamin'.

It looks like Rosemary's baby really does have his father's eyes.

But let's go down the checklist, and be sure she's telling us the truth. So here's...

Doug's Dozen: 12 Signs That Frank Sinatra is Your Kid's Real Father

1. Punched baby photographer.

2. Favorite cartoon show: Scooby Doo.

3. Referred to diving into ball-pit at Circus Circus as "playing Vegas."

4. Disrupted every school concert by yelling, "Hit it, Nelson!"

5. Preferred Ava Gardner poster to Barney.

6. Always hanging with Deana Martin, Tracey Davis and Chris Lawford.

7. Gets really steamed every time he sees the Johnny Fontaine scene in The Godfather.

8. Cell has ring-a-ding tone.

9. Offers to have your jerk boss "taken care of."

10. You were in a long-term relationship with Woody Allen.

11. You were in a long-term relationship with any man between 1930 and 1998.

12. You are female.

See more Doug's Dozen lists and Doug's comic novel at www.dougsdozen.com.