Doug's Dozen: 12 Ways to Soften Income Inequality Without Taxing 62 People

News Item: 62 richest people have as much money as the poorest 3.5 billion.

Five years ago, in 2010, it took about 380 rich people to equal the wealth of half the world. So this situation is getting worse. And as we all know, raising taxes on the super-rich is just crazy talk.

But I have suggestions how to fix this. In fact, I have...

Doug's Dozen: 12 Ways to Soften Income Inequality Without Taxing 62 People

1. Enter 3.5 billion people in mandatory Powerball pool.

2. Have Oxfam study figures reworked by kids who were home-schooled.

3. Give world's poor water as clean as in America (or to save $100, as clean as Flint, Mich.)

4. Allow super-rich couples to adopt small countries.

5. Make lots of movies about the angst felt by the rich.

6. Free drugs!

7. New reality show: The Billionaire Bachelor.

8. Allow Third World hovels to trade vacations on Airbnb.

9. Give the poor restaurant coupons they can use as soon as they turn 99.

10. Cut taxes on those 62 guys, 'cause this time, we promise, it'll work.

11. Governments hire people to fix infrastructure...wait, no, that's socialism. Never mind.

12. Let the 62 hunt the poor till there are only 62 poor left. Then half of us will be super-rich!

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