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Doug Molitor

Doug Molitor

Posted: March 22, 2010 12:38 PM

Texas Solution for Smart-Aleck Kids: Dumb 'Em Down

What's Your Reaction:

Do you think Thomas Jefferson wasn't a real influence on revolutionary movements? Do you consider Confederate president Jefferson Davis to be a hero of equal standing with Abraham Lincoln? Do you feel the outcome of the Civil War was that states have the right to secede if they want?

Well, good news! While in most states those notions would brand you an ignoramus, in Texas you qualify for valedictorian.

But I have a feeling the new Texas schoolbooks have at least a dozen more surprises in store for us.

How did things come to such a pretty pass?

In Afghanistan, a couple of decades ago, the Taliban decided children were getting too much humanism and secular values in the schools, and not enough religious indoctrination, so they ran well-financed campaigns to pack local school boards with semi-educated extremists, to ensure everyone's children only learned what the Taliban wanted them to believe, however fictional.

Oh, wait, that wasn't Afghanistan. That was America. Okay, easy fix. Wherever I have "Taliban," just insert "right-wing Christians."

And this week in Texas, the battle for the hearts and misinformed minds has finally borne its bruised, maggoty fruit. If all goes as scheduled, within a generation, dimbulb secessionists like Gov. Rick Perry will be seen by Texas high school grads (if any) as rational statesmen.

And here's the really good news -- because of the size of the Texas school system, when its Board of Education gets taken over by rabid right-wingers, it means every textbook company in America will compete to squeeze out propaganda as messed-up as the Texas Taliban demands. Because God forbid that any kids in America be educated differently than they are in that intellectual bastion on the Rio Grande.

Once again, the ol' Invisible Hand of the marketplace gives us the finger. Not that I would say anything against monopolistic corporate capitalism -- excuse me, I should translate for any Texan children reading this, "free enterprise."

I'm sure this will all turn out just fine.

As Shakespeare might have said, "All's Orwell that ends Orwell." And maybe he did say that.

I better check my Texas English text.

 
Do you think Thomas Jefferson wasn't a real influence on revolutionary movements? Do you consider Confederate president Jefferson Davis to be a hero of equal standing with Abraham Lincoln? Do you fe...
Do you think Thomas Jefferson wasn't a real influence on revolutionary movements? Do you consider Confederate president Jefferson Davis to be a hero of equal standing with Abraham Lincoln? Do you fe...
 
 
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02:13 PM on 05/18/2010
The state Texas spends so little for elementary schools, middle schools and high schools as of 2009 they had 26 schools receive the Blue Ribbon Award by the US Dept of Education out of 9,082 public schools and 453 charter schools totals. This is a hazard for Texas school children. Do not expect much from these future employees America corporations and small business companies.
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tuneone52
12:15 PM on 03/25/2010
This is the most horrible news that I have ever read, To think that the state of Texas would replace Thomas Jefferson with John Calvin is so unbelievable it defies the imagination, History of this country can not be told without Thomas Jefferson. It is absurd to think otherwise, This man was a driving force in the creation of this great country and his contribution's are still being felt, Where ever truth and liberty are taught Jefferson will be there, Where ever injustice is being defeated Jefferson will be there, Where ever the rights of man are being denied Jefferson will be there! When ever people seek freedom Jefferson will be there, Texas is just hurting their own students by not teaching about one of the greatest men America has ever known!
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Doug Molitor
Comedy writer and scifi novelist.
05:48 AM on 03/30/2010
Wow, 59 posts! I was worried this story was too obscure - instead, I find out everyone's already mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!

Thanks for all the thoughtful comments.

Now, if we can just stop Texas from melting down every nickel in the state...

- Doug
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rich3324
Likes: Chasing villagers. Dislikes: Fire
07:10 PM on 03/22/2010
“REDACTED served as a delegate to the Second Continental Congress beginning in June 1775, soon after the outbreak of the American Revolutionary War. When Congress began considering a resolution of independence in June 1776, REDACTED was appointed to a five-man committee to prepare a declaration to accompany the resolution. The committee selected REDACTED to write the first draft probably because of his reputation as a writer. The assignment was considered routine; no one at the time thought that it was a major responsibility. REDACTED completed a draft in consultation with other committee members, drawing on his own proposed draft of the Virginia Constitution, George Mason's draft of the Virginia Declaration of Rights, and other sources.”””
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06:06 PM on 03/22/2010
It might be that the state of Texas was not alone in overstating the success of graduating a high percentage of high school students.

But. I do recall that President GW Bush had nothing but praise for his nominee, to be Secretary of Education (Page), because of the high rate of graduates in Texas. ----One small problem. The statistics were 'cooked'. The large number of students that dropped out of school, were forgotten. Only those that remained in school and graduated were in the statistic.

The actual fact was that many 18 year old Texans had no high school diploma.
05:26 PM on 03/22/2010
sorry for double post. thought i lost the first one. Must be that Texas education.
05:06 PM on 03/22/2010
The school book rewrite happens every few years and the biggest customers have always been able to suggest changes. Most of you writing here, if you attended school in the USA, used textbooks that theTexas Board changed before publishing. Did you just feel a few brain cells turn off? I just looked outside and guess what. The earth is still turning, the sun's still shining, dogs still bark, fish swim and birds fly. And by golly, it even looks like the sky is where its always been. How can that be?!?!
There's lots of criticism here but no alternative solutions. Or in Texas english " a lot of hat but no cattle"
If you have school age children you should know about their classes and what's being taught. Be active with your school board. Volunteer at school or substitute teach. Help your kids with their homework. Know who their friends are. Children learn from their parents more than their history teachers. It's going to OK.
Remember the Alamo!
God Bless John Wayne
Amen
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Handyman2
I liked Ike.
05:29 PM on 03/22/2010
Yes, and in Germany during the 30's the earth was still turning, the sun was still shining, dogs still barking, fish swimming and birds flying while the Nazis were re-writing history, convincing "real Germans" that they were a superior race. It was a wonderful time.......unless you happen to have been Jewish.

Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.
07:58 PM on 03/22/2010
Santayana. no? One of my favorites...
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MyFatCat
I'm paid in catnip
10:31 PM on 03/22/2010
Those who ignore history are also dooming others to repeat it.
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05:49 PM on 03/22/2010
You're right about parents being an integral part of a child's learning, but that doesn't make rewriting history okay. What's the effect of a parent contradicting a textbook, especially when the child is going to be tested on that textbook? a) The child's faith in the parent is undermined or b) the child's faith in school is undermined. I'm speaking as the child of two teachers, and I frankly think this is indefensible.
06:04 PM on 03/22/2010
Then help do something about it. Make sure it doesn't happen in your state. And the books aren't published yet. There is still time to stop the changes.
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Bethab
04:40 PM on 03/22/2010
Where are the colleges and universities on this? I would like to see them publicly state that they will either not accept students from the state of Texas because they do not have the requisite knowledge to succeed in college as a result of this decision. Or...they could just require that all student from Texas have an additional series of history requirements for graduation...
05:44 PM on 03/22/2010
What about people who have already graduated from college? Are you going to take their diplomas away? Or will you test foreign students also? What about a student whose parents are military and have moved a few times, if they spent 2 years in Texas schools, will they have to take whole test or just 1/6?
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JDShipley
I drink coffee, therefore I am.
07:53 PM on 03/22/2010
Silly.
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03:54 AM on 03/23/2010
Everybody could take a history exam to be admitted to college. Those that don't pass it have to take a remedial history course before they can move on to the required regular college history course.

I taught a remedial English course at a college. When the students passed that, then they were able to move on to the regular college English courses. You can't let students move ahead in higher education if they don't know the basics.
04:36 PM on 03/22/2010
What a blow the religious right suffered when they found out about the incredible power the Taliban wielded over their society. They flew into high gear and ginned up their base to exact as much power and control as the Taliban had. They'll work tirelessly until they too can whip women in public for what they wear or don't wear and any other excuse.
Beware the Talibangelists.
04:29 PM on 03/22/2010
If there was ever a reason for kids to grow up hating their parents, this would be it.
How irresponsible of the parents to let this kind of lying propoganda to be fed to their children as "history"?

Typical of the religious right. Since they can choose to believe in God and Christ in any way they please - read how the "true" Christians in this country have no tolerance, do not believe in charity, and want the government to tell us how to live our lives.

Now they think they can choose what else to believe, such as documented history.

Now for a short list of countries where they CHOSE what historical facts to believe:

China, post 1947
USSR
Germany (1936 to 1945)
Japan (1936 to 1945)

Known by the company you keep.
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plaidsportcoat
04:10 PM on 03/22/2010
Oka. So. Where is the political movement against the textbook companies' autopilotic action on this issue??
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GeorgeBurnsWasRight
My micro-bio is running on empty.
03:58 PM on 03/22/2010
Ah, but my state of Kansas will still give Texas a run for its money. I think we're about ready to go through another round of the State Board of Education mandating the teaching of creationism. After all, depending upon how the question is asked, you can get a majority of the public to support creationism since "evolution is just a theory".
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Json
Cynical dreamer, sarcastic idealist...
03:41 PM on 03/22/2010
Judge Smails: Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.
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sociocanuck
Red Tory mind / Progressive voting history
03:29 PM on 03/22/2010
I am immediately reminded of this:

http://uk.video.yahoo.com/watch/142989/1483171

It's only sort of inaccurate ;)
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04:07 AM on 03/23/2010
I loved it!
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castlerider
"A man's home is his castle"
03:17 PM on 03/22/2010
The ignorance we have to live with down here is truly embarassing, for those of us who actually read and like their BBQ with a little bit of intellectual ambience.

Austin used to be a fairly quiet city, but when W became governor in 96, it changed dramatically. The cops all of a sudden got real mean, bustin' people for anything and everything they possibly could.. A right wing fervor seemed to take hold that had many shaking their heads, wondering what's with all these Hummers all of a sudden, and why do they drive like they'd just as soon run ya down if ya don't git outta the way? With all this happening this way, it's little wonder that the elite would much prefer to keep 'em all stupid... Much easier to control that way, by god...
03:57 PM on 03/22/2010
CastleRider just so you know, most of the US would demand that Austin remain while the rest of Tehaus secedes. Even though life in the Pacific Northwest enables adequate separation from Texas from a cultural standpoint this Merikan Taliban school board idiocy is very concerning. I truly hope that text book manufacturers can utilize computing advances to mitigate the spread of this action and provide state by state decisions and choices of what's "real history".
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IntelligenceIsBliss
03:14 PM on 03/22/2010
Texas is the cultural Afghanistan of America. Hard to believe there could be a more backward state than South Carolina, but Texas' denial of truth and history, just to placate the most ign0rant and vicious of its citizens, is a skidmark on the underwear of our nation.

Texas citizens need to ask Rick Perry another famous question from Shakespeare:

"On what meat doth this our Caesar feed?"