"I'll tell you what the real problem is," Ralph told me with a confident smile. "I'm a high-level performer. But most everyone around me -- my peers, direct reports, upper management -- they're incompetents, jerks or total idiots. Take your pick."
"This company values incompetence," he continued. "That's the real problem. That shows you how screwed up it is. But they're telling me that I'm the problem! That I need help? It's the people upstairs that need it!" He shook his head in dismay.
Sound familiar? People like Ralph are all too common in companies today. He illustrates just one type of abusive boss, often part of an overall unhealthy management culture that takes an enormous toll on both workers and business success, despite it's increasing dysfunctionality in companies today.
In this post I describe some examples of that toll and point towards some ways to deal with them -- ways that require something different from the usual coping and stress management strategies.
You might guess, correctly, that Ralph was oblivious to the fact that his description of others was how his co-workers and subordinates described him. One of his colleagues had emailed him after their last encounter, saying "If you ever set foot in my office again, I'll throw your ass right out the window." Ralph dismissed that with a wave of his hand, saying, "That's typical -- he's threatened by me because he knows I'm leagues beyond him. Always have been."
Ralph is a senior executive and, in fact, a high-level performer in his company. But his abusive management and poor relationships were generating a growing chorus of complaints. To its credit, his company wanted to salvage rather than fire him, and offered him an executive coaching program. But Ralph saw this as punishment.
Of course, there are psychological roots to behavior like Ralph's. But that doesn't matter much to the people who have to deal with the consequences on a daily basis. It doesn't matter what drives your boss' or co-workers' behavior if you're having to pop Xanax to cope with it.
Ralph's an example of just one kind of psychologically unhealthy management you might encounter at work: the narcissistic and arrogant boss. Others are more abusive, bullying people who create a great deal of suffering for those reporting to them. I find that some with those tendencies often gravitate towards companies that either implicitly sanction or actively encourage such behavior; organizations whose culture is marked by a hostile, abusive work environment.
An unhealthy management culture has a negative impact on both the employees and the business success of the company. Research shows that unhealthy management culture and the stress it generates diminish the mental efficiency of workers subjected to it. For example, a Gallup survey found that such work groups are on average 50 percent less productive and 44 percent less profitable than more positively managed groups.
There's even some evidence that psychologically unhealthy management can create a form of post-traumatic stress disorder, like that seen among soldiers returning from combat.
Abusive bosses often run into problems themselves, eventually, especially in organizations that require a high degree of teamwork and collaboration for both individual and business success -- increasingly the norm, today. Nevertheless, many companies continue to harbor or foster unhealthy, toxic management. In fact, some research suggests that it's on the rise, both in the U.S. and abroad.
It can be devastating. For example, Margaret landed a job with a small but growing event-planning company when she was just a few years out of college. Initially, she was pretty excited by "wide-open opportunity" for career possibilities that her boss described to her. Unfortunately, the reality proved otherwise. She soon discovered that she was working for the classic Boss From Hell, like portrayed in the movie The Devil Wears Prada. Margaret was subject to daily tirades, name-calling and constant threats of being fired. She heard through the grapevine that her boss always managed people this way, especially those in entry-level positions. Constant turnover was the norm. That seemed to be fine with her boss, probably because it made pay raises unnecessary.
Margaret sought advice from an older employee, but that didn't help much. She was told that she was simply spoiled, like most 20-somethings; that she should feel lucky to have an entry-level job with benefits, in this economy. Margaret didn't know which way to go, but she knew she had trouble sleeping and felt like she was developing an ulcer.
"When I finally leave after a 12-hour day, I'm usually in tears all the way home," Margaret told me. "Some of my friends say I should just 'suck it up.' Others say I should quit right now, and some tell me I should just tell the bitch off. I don't know what I want to do. I need the job, but I'm a wreck at the end of every day and I can't take it much more."
When you're on the receiving end of bosses like that, you're likely to feel highly anxious and on guard, at best. A senior executive of a large corporation once told me, with apparent glee, "This is a paranoid culture. We want people to feel that someone's always looking over their shoulder, ready to catch them on something. That's what keeps them sharp."
But does it? Surveys find that large numbers of American workers are dealing with abusive and/or incompetent managers, and it hurts the companies they work for. A Gallup Poll of 1 million workers found that bad bosses are the No.1 reason for quitting a job. And a 2011 poll conducted by Harris Interactive for the American Psychological Association found that 36 percent of workers report ongoing work stress, most of which is related to negative or outright unhealthy management practices. Between 40 and 50 percent report heavy workload, long hours and unrealistic expectations as among the sources of emotional distress. Nearly 50 percent say they don't feel valued on the job, and about one-third report that they intend to look for another job within the next year.
Such research and survey data underscore that a psychologically unhealthy management culture extends far beyond the presence of an abusive or bullying boss. It includes environments that denigrate, demoralize and don't support your continued learning and development. There, you may find that your achievements are ignored or unrewarded. The APA survey found that over 50 percent reported not receiving adequate recognition for their achievements. Moreover, you might find yourself dealing with constant political manipulation, secrecy, questionable ethical behavior or other kinds of negative management practices.
In one company, the human resources director was told by a consultant about the effect that abusive supervisors were having on employees. The consultant reported that "She got very cranky and said, 'We don't have time to be nice to people.'" In such companies, people are likely to be subject to a range of abusive behavior. For example, Samantha discovered that among the unwritten items in her job description was walking the boss' dog and taking his clothes to the cleaners. Andrew, who worked in a management consulting firm, reported that his boss might scream at him for whatever he decided Andrew had done wrong, or simply not to his liking, on any given day... and then later might flip around and tell Andrew how great he was; how much his contribution was valued.
Of course, one might ask why anyone would put up with abusive bosses or unhealthy management cultures. There are many reasons -- and holding on to a career position in a shaky economy can certainly play a role. But there are psychological reasons as well. Unconscious fears and conflicts can pull someone to "find a home" with abusive superiors or authority figures. He or she might be recreating the experience with an abusive parent, unconsciously, in an effort to change or repair the parent, symbolically.
Another person might live with a bad situation because he or she was taught to not make waves; or had learned to assume you can't change or control your circumstances. Perhaps self confidence wasn't sufficiently fostered or strengthened while growing up, or self esteem was damaged. Perhaps he or she has a shy temperament and finds it uncomfortable to be assertive in such situations.
One hopeful sign is that younger workers tend to be more attuned to recognizing an unhealthy workplace culture and more likely to be proactive on their own behalf to find a healthier environment. These are the kinds of workers I described in a previous post as part of the newly emerging "4.0″ career orientation.
For those who suffer, just learning better coping with unhealthy management practices with stress management techniques isn't enough. What helps is thinking "outside the box" and creating a mental and emotional perspective that frames your dilemma differently. That can open up new, constructive actions -- though they may appear contradictory at first.
Meanwhile, what are your own experiences with unhealthy work environments, and how have you tried to deal with them? I'd like to hear about them in the comments section below.
Douglas LaBier, Ph.D., a business psychologist and psychotherapist, is Director of the Center for Progressive Development in Washington, D.C. You may contact him at dlabier@CenterProgressive.org.
Follow Douglas LaBier on Twitter: www.twitter.com/douglaslabier
Do You Have a Toxic Workplace?
Danger:Toxic Company | Fast Company
Ten Signs You're Being Bullied At Work - Forbes.com
Fighting back against workplace bullies
Office Bullies: The Big Business of Battling Them - BusinessWeek
Now no one does anything without an order, everyone disklikes and distrusts everyone else... and the top manager that came in with this culture got caught in a scam where managers were stealing time (not documenting leave) and he was transferred to another location (all the lower managers were fired) Just last week he was promoted to regional manager.
If they treat you that way before they hire you, how badly do they treat you when you're an employee? Apparently, pretty badly. The company is only rated 1.5 out of 5 by employees on glassdoor.com. They've got poor morale, poor communication, oppressive management, extreme pressure to get things done and use negative reinforcement for motivation. They've also got high employee turnover. I'm glad I didn't get the job.
However, the other woman who works full time in the same area and basically the same job description is leaving in two weeks - taking a week vacation for the second week so will actually be at work for one more week. The work is more than enough for one full-time and one part-time worker to handle, but the boss doesn't seem to realize this. Plus, he is totally clueless as to who does what in the offices - and he ignores the women (except to gripe at them) and takes the men to lunch and doles out other goodies to the men.
What will happen? Asked my friend if she would go back to full time - the answer was a resounding "NO" - plus her contract ends in September (yes, government work). It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Who knows? She said she may be let go immediately if asked to go full time and she refuses. Is she upset at that possible outcome? She is great at her job and has offers coming in regularly, so no, she is ready to leave this "boss from hell".
My opinion; the “Ralphs” have been a FAR bigger obstacle to bringing about positive change than any Politician or Executive. The “Ralphs” are blocking the door to the top, where big problems are solved. Executives in this country have an unfair reputation. What some see as overpaid and manipulative is nothing more than Drive and Determination to stay focused on the big picture. Their families are effected by the same social issues as every one else. When I hear “conspiracy theories” I have to laugh because over time I've found that when you look close enough, over 90% of the time it's nothing more than a few people not doing their jobs or narrow-minded, short-term business decisions (avoidable).
Message to “Ralph” is clear; It's not punishment, it's a chance to wipe the slate clean!
“This is a Big*Deal”
Thank You for covering this issue AOL, Inc. (NYSE)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robin-bronk/bullying-creative-coalition-_b_882061.html
===
Here's a thought out of left field: I wonder how much American nastiness (and we really are an unpleasant people) has to do with corporal punishment as kids. Psychologist Alice Miller has written extensively about the effects of this, which can be as bad as any abuse. It would surprise many Americans, but the whole world doesn't "spank." In America, however, it's an institution; we even have a specific word for it.
People are careful not to associate with co workers after work and off work activities just don't happen. If despite everything a project is successful the normal reward is a catered lunch and an "inspirational" speech by some manager who will make sure he takes the credit for the success through his inspired leadership. Why do people stay? It's a job.
One of my coworkers that I worked closely with told me that the first six months he was there, this guy yelled at him continuously. I think the only reason he still had a job was because the boss considered him a friend, and they did things off the job together. Why anyone would want a "friend" like that is beyond me, but I guess he was doing what he had to do to keep his job.
I look back on it now, and I realize I simply wouldn't have succeeded at all, no matter what I did. The deck was stacked in favor of eventual failure. My advice is just to leave if you can. You won't turn it around, and odds are good he/she is making others in the company just as miserable.
.
In a nutshell, when I was fired, I was relieved to not have to work for someone who has absolutley no business managing people.
The only problem is that new employers want to know why you no longer have that job, and how do you say it was because you worked for an abusive SOB?
I was truly blessed that nobody really asked. Because I and another guy lost our jobs together, I was able to say it was because a decision was made to layoff the entire department (which wasn't a lie).
I had been asked why I left my previous job, and my response was "the job just wasn't a good fit with my skillset" which wasn't entirely untrue.
I think some employers can see if you have had a long stable work history, but for recent times, people are searching for employment out of desperation.
When times are tough, people hunker down and live with it, to keep food on the table. Businesses love this: they hold the threat of unemployment over their employees' heads, even when the employee is doing a good job.
When things ease up on the job front, you'll hear a chorus of 'Boo-hoo! Our employees are so ungrateful and keep quitting! We can't get qualified people!' because those who were bullied or put up with a toxic environment take the first opportunity to jump ship, and they don't recommend their old company to their friends.
It's a bit like landlords: when the rental market is tight, landlords jack up rents, don't keep their properties up, and make unreasonable demands on their tenants. Then, when there are rental properties galore, they complain about how hard it is to keep tenants, about the high cost of maintaining their buildings (especially when they've let little problems turn into huge ones throug lack of basic care), and how it's not fair that other landlords are stealing their tenants.
Both groups complain incessantly about lack of loyalty, yet their only loyalty is to themeselves and the dollar.
The deification of Greed, writ large.
The bullying I witnessed often expressed the contempt that many bosses have for their employees/workers, to the point of not quite recognizing us as humans like them. the most extreme experience, for me, was in the financial industry, but I encountered it in other places, too.
While I agree that of course many bullies suffer from psychological issues I am wary of focusing too much on individual issues as a CAUSE of bullying. In my experience, the main difference between a good work environment and a toxic one is the culture of the institution - does it support or even encourage bullying?
And while I also agree that the (large majority) of people being bullied have their own psychological reasons for not fighting back I would like to point out how difficult and dangerous fighting back can be - and that people usually work because they need the money to survive. That's not really a psychological issue, it's a societal issue which many people react to by telling themselves (and others) that 'it's called work, you're not meant to enjoy it' and 'just suck it up'. In an environment of institutional bullying, it's hard to tell where the boundary is - and resistance is often a very lonely
That says it all.
We do have the right to leave. Many do. I suspect that companies that tend toward tyranny in the bosses' offices tend to do poorly over time. If you work in such a company, you should be looking.
The problem with that of course is the risk-reward equation. If you leave, your destination may prove to be no better.
Of course, in the current economy, a job in the hand...
At XXX corporation we hire only the best and brightest while making sure we pay competitive rates.
I cannot believe that more people have not seen this post AND if they have, I am really uncertain as to WHY they are not sharing their stories. In this economy, perhaps they do not have time. On the other hand, if they read the story, maybe they do not know they are sick.
Is the anger, anxiety, and the pursuit of the American dream founded in dysfunctional behavior. Perhaps there is no change from the 1950's...largely, because OURS is not a learning society. We are a populous, trend-following, groupthink culture that latches on to the latest idea...so long as someone else tells us it is cool!
Thus, "Ralph's" exist because they "make money!" Your story reminds me of a case study in my Master's course. My course of inquiry was to ask: Who is Ralph's boss? Executive Coaching is not an answer if Ralph is not open to learning.
As a result, the first response to every problem was to shift the blame. Needless to say a lot of energy was expended to blame shifting and blame-defense strategies, all subtracted from the effort to actually produce something.
Think 'corrosive'.