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Dr. Cara Barker

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Are You Choosing What You Really Love?

Posted: 03/18/09 09:05 AM ET

"Best to lay low today, you know," mumbled the sweating, balding, portly, 60-something guy on the treadmill to my right. Pointing to the monitor overhead, tuned to Fox News, his rant continued: "Look at what's going on: drug wars on our borders, people losing their homes, AIG bonuses to crooks. No good has ever come to me on Friday the 13th!" Based on his attitude, I was sure he'd attract the same. As one of you named it last week, this poor soul had to be The Curmudgeon's Club's charter member. As for joining into our "Spewing Joy Project", we can safely assume he'd want no part of it. His life has lost all Wonder. Clearly, he's a 70 percenter.

Are You in the 30% or 70% Club? If we don't leave space for the Unknown, we'll never discover the amazing. The sad thing is that 70% of our population is completely closed to anything new, devoted to bad news. Of the remaining 30%, 17% are curious, and 13% are open. By virtue of the fact that you read what's here in the Living Section, that places you in the curious, open, or 'curiously open' part of the Bell Curve. Which means, my friend, fasten your seatbelt for the spectacular to meet you in the most surprising ways. Of course, you've got to be willing, as Rumi puts it, to:

"Let yourself be silently drawn by
The stronger pull of what you really love."

After the gym, while hosing off in the shower, I reviewed my situation. My last client called to reschedule due to an emergency root canal. Ouch. I was neither drawn to calls I've got to return, nor errands to run. Then, there's this column to write. The stronger pull was to the incredibly beautiful, sunny in Seattle afternoon. I didn't want it to slip by without an honorable mention. It was simply too ripe with possibilities. With my well too dry to write, speak, or fritter the time away 'trying to do' the list, I scrapped the plan, packed my bag, and headed out to catch an earlier ferry for Bainbridge Island. If I were lucky, I might make it to the Blackbird Bakery before closing.

Blasphemy or Blessing?

Now, I realize, that to the 70% folks, making this choice, as opposed to 'laying low,' appears irresponsible. "Our world," Joseph Chilton Pearce points out, "looks at play as a waste. Frugal hard work is the ideal. That we are born to enjoy life is anathema to church, government, and industry. We must win the luxury of enjoyment through hard work, or purchase it on credit. In truth, in dying, we who have worked so hard and never played will be just as dead as a dead senoi who lived his life in joyful play." All I know is that drawing back from my heart's directive has never improved the situation.

There are times when our Spirit refuses all attempts at suffocation. The 'to do' list must go, and our obsession with circumstances. There are times when who we are demands we rise up, and create what is relevant.

Confessional: I must admit that as I drove down Madison to catch an earlier ferry, I felt a tiny twinge of guilt, like the school kid ditching school early on a March Friday. In surround sound beauty, the Olympic and Cascade Mountains, and Mount Rainier have never been more striking against the clear, blue sky. Lake Washington's water was smooth as glass. As for the salty scent of Puget Sound, well, it doesn't get much better! The entire show, for free! With a heart swelling with gratitude, I did not know this story would only get livelier.

Now, routinely, I grab my green tea on board, returning to my car to catch the soothing back and forth rocking of the waves against the boat. But, on this day, the urge in my heart was otherwise. Settling into my niche by the window, the quietude ended abruptly, but sweetly, as an exuberant mob of 20+ kids paraded through the cabin. With that sort of energy we elders would love to bottle and imbibe, boys, girls, teens, and young adults joked, snapped pictures, (with actual cameras, no less), and interacted with one another in a most unusually present way. With nary a cell phone in sight, these young people connected in profoundly beautiful ways, scampering together, delighting in sights beyond windows and deck. Hand in hand they moved, as one family, Black, white, and brown skinned, in unison. Radiant joy in action.
I could not resist.

Two women in the group, Elaine and Gael, told me their story. From Zimbabwe (formerly Rhodesia), their tour is called "Expression of Reformation." I asked them for a song. Without a second's self-conscious hesitation, these bright, shining faces, with the most radiant smiles I've ever witnessed, began. In their native tongue, sprinkled with a bit of English now and then, this was a sound from Soul. I could not stop my tears. Beauty had its way with me. You would never imagine that these very people came from a land of 90% unemployment, a people who are 1 in 3 HIV/AIDs positive, and who are starving. It costs 10 trillion z-dollars for one loaf of bread. This is not a typo. What this is I'd call 'love in action.' Clearly, these are 13% members!

I want you to know that in the midst of this heaven on earth, I thought of you, and held you in my heart. Be assured our "Spewing Joy Project" is alive and well, despite those who'd argue only for bad news. Martha Graham puts it this way:

"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, the expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium. It will be lost...Keep the channel open..."

I'd love to hear from you! What is the stronger pull that you love, that inspires, renews you? That yanks you away from what feeds your soul? What have you noticed lately about the openess of your own channel? I welcome all responses, suggestions, questions, feelings, links, getting back to you as quickly as I can. Come back for a visit! The group I mentioned may be reached at Celebration Ministeries International, Harare, Zimbabwe; celebrationmin.org; innocentkapesa@gmail.com. Don't miss them or their CD's!

***

Dr. Cara Barker is the author of World Weary Woman: Her Wound and Transformation; Grieving the Loss of Your Child, The Listening Heart, Holding Hands, Sacred Time, Sacred Space,(in press), Living Love(in press), and many other works. Jungian Analyst, Nurse Practitioner, and artist, Barker has been referred to as 'The Heart Whisperer.'

 

Follow Dr. Cara Barker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker

"Best to lay low today, you know," mumbled the sweating, balding, portly, 60-something guy on the treadmill to my right. Pointing to the monitor overhead, tuned to Fox News, his rant continued: "Loo...
"Best to lay low today, you know," mumbled the sweating, balding, portly, 60-something guy on the treadmill to my right. Pointing to the monitor overhead, tuned to Fox News, his rant continued: "Loo...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:21 PM on 03/18/2009
Hi * Heart Whisperer *

This is your * Love Whisperer * friend and I can tell we are in sync
Life these days has been inspiring as Deb and I just handed our book into our publishers. It will be released October 2009. In our book we will have:

A Message From HH The Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman will do the foreword

also we have a brilliant contribution from our own Russell Bishop

Joyfully,

Ed
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
10:21 PM on 03/18/2009
Dear Love Whisperer,

And, indeed you are! It is so funny that you called me "Heart Whisperer"! It is probably the most commonly used nickname I've been given over the last years when leading retreats, or doing individual work. What an intuitive lad you are.

A special, special congrats to you, Ed, and Deb, too, for your upcoming book. I am thrilled for you. Does this mean Judith and I get autographed copies??????????????

What a blessing, what a blessing you are, my brother,
Cara
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed and Deb Shapiro
11:45 PM on 03/18/2009
Dear One- you get a hand given autographed copy of our book unless you are far away in some exotic place - in that case -

* carrier pigeon *

Ed
06:15 PM on 03/18/2009
Dear Dr. Cara,
Thank you so much once again for this fountain of joy! Your experiences and words are an inspiration to be open and to follow your heart. I am also reading Dr. Judith to help me figure out what it is I love (in terms of life-work). I do know that I feel *compelled* to try to spew joy whenever possible, perhaps more right now than ever before in my life. It feels like a critical time to be as open as possible, rather than shutting down and giving up as so many seem to be saying or doing. Flying in the face of convention, which would say to stuff all of my $ away for emergency savings, I am doing some re-decorating of my condo, with the help of a friend who is a designer. Part of me wonders if I'm crazy to be spending money right now, while the other part of me is thrilled to be FINALLY creating the space I really want (within reason!). I guess this could be considered something I love pulling at me... Though the redecorating may sound superficial, there's something bigger behind it; this time of my life is somehow about rebirth, finding my voice (finally at 45 years old), feeling inspired and joyful, and doing good for the Universe by allowing my Soul to manifest.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
06:31 PM on 03/18/2009
I'm so glad to hear from you, allcreaturesareone! Really, I am absolutely thrilled that you are taking care of yourself in such honoring ways. The truth is, as Judith will confirm, I'm a firm believer in taking care of interiors, on every level! This is why I have a great deal of color in my surroundings. Color is energy, vibration. The ones that make our hearts' sing, are really good medicine.

Regaring your life's work, one thing is clear to me: you have a love of life, people, and creation. Make sure that you incorporate this into your work. It will not only serve you, but it will be a gift to others to experience your Light shining. Think about it: it is quite unusual to meet someone who absolutely loves what they do, and how they serve. They are a marvelous reminder that we came here for this very thing.

Come back for tea!
Love,
Cara aka Dr. Cara
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Judith Rich
Rx For The Soul: www.judithrich.com
03:52 PM on 03/18/2009
Cara,

It does not escape my attention that yet again, you and I are on the same track, same theme. Your question "Are you doing what you really love"? is answered in my post this week "Follow Your Bliss: The Holy Work of Living Our Dreams".

Amazing how this creative force works to get its message out. I'm so glad that you and I get to be its messengers. What an amazing journey!

I love your "Boat to Bainbridge" story. I'm hope there are a lot more of those to come. Many more trips to Bainbridge and many lovely things to share out of the experience.

Buckets of Bliss in your Spewage of Joy,
Judith
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
06:15 PM on 03/18/2009
In a nanosecond, I'm going to hop right over to your blog, which I've not had a chance to read today with doing sessions. Whatever you've written, no, I wouldn't be surprised we are on the same beam. This is, surely, a time for the creative force to be at work. God knows, (and I mean that literally,) that our old, traditional answers are not working.

Here's to Buckets of Bliss, Spewage of Joy, and Following Bliss, as well,
Cara
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
03:46 PM on 03/18/2009
Dear Cara.

How inspiring! I could feel myself being with the young people and their exuberance.

The rebellious side of my nature wants no part in joining in terminal misery. Many years ago when I was quite seriously ill in hospital and apparently looked as though I was at "death's door" my feisty spirit kicked in. I was determined to live.

Right now, I am gratefully enjoying my life and so much appreciating the blessings I enjoy. To misquote the Bible: Anne is to have joy and have it more abundantly.

What inspires me most these days is the most miraculous sea view from my home and the sounds of the sea when I go to sleep at night, and wake up in the morning.

Thank you for another lovely post.

With love and blessings,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
06:18 PM on 03/18/2009
I did not know you live by the sea, Anne. Somehow, this is not surprising: you have such a strong way of radiating all that is beautiful in nature. Also, I did not know about your hospital experience. They surely can be Wisdom Teachers, can't they? When I had my own, both 29 years ago, and 18, they were really clarifiying experiences, and reminded me of the necessity of both gratitude and seizing the moment for joy.

Listen, Anne, I love your Bible 'misquote.' I'd love it if you felt the inspiration, and gave me one as well!

Much love,
Cara
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:53 AM on 03/19/2009
Dearest Cara,

I shall ask my muse for your name.... and be back to you!

Lot of love,
Anne4Joy
03:27 PM on 03/18/2009
Oh my! Rumi's words "Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love." whispers to something very deep in my soul that wants to "dance more". I recently read Deepak Chopra's Seven Spiritual Laws...couldn't put it down. The things I am most drawn to are the same words of wisdom spoken by different people in different ways. In the Law of Detachment he says; "Relinquish your attachment to the known, step into the unknown, and you will step into the field of all possibilities. In your willingness to step into the unknown, you will have the wisdom of uncertainty factored in. This means that in every moment of your life, you will have excitement, adventure, mystery. You will experience the fun of life - the magic, the celebration, the exhilaration and the exultation of your own spirit." Doesn't that sound juicy! When I move towards this, I feel that same twinge of guilt you mentioned and fear. Guilt about the "to do's" also known as responsibilities or guilt regarding how others may be affected. The fear has something to do with the generally unspoken question "What IF what is calling me is like the sirens. Enticing, dangerous, deceptive?"
I choose to be in the 30% - to keep the channel open to the the field of ALL possibilities!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
06:25 PM on 03/18/2009
I'm afraid I need to tell you,RK, you are not in the 30%, you are in the 13%!!!!!!!!!! Every time you write in a reply, it is abundantly clear that you are diving into the really lively, juicy, and transforming places, otherwise known as the Great Unknown. From what I know, Deepak has been very affected by Rumi's work, as well. Thank you for sharing from his Seven Spiritual Laws, and this particular quote. I'm going to 'cook on it,' for a bit. Who knows? It just may serve as a thread for next week.

You've raised a very important question: just what is calling us? Just what is responsibility? For me, taking a position of responsibility means that I acknowledge I have the capability to respond. And, I've been given a Voice, as have we each, to respond, not react. Reactivity is really going around these days, but it does not solve what is before us. Hence, Rumi was so right!

Come by, again. You've been missed!

Love,
Cara
11:02 AM on 03/18/2009
Thank you for your heartlifting "spewing joy" article. (I love that!)
Makes me want to take a day off work just to hop around my little town and take it all in.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
02:44 PM on 03/18/2009
Good for you, jbean! There's a lot to be said for taking time to take time. For me, it has a restorative effect. What I didn't mention in the article was that by doing so, the boost from the unexpected 'concert' expedited me to get the rest of my work done. I had much more energy and joy for doing what I needed to do.

Let me know what you discover in your own 'hop around' your little town. I'd love to hear from you. Let's get out there and 'spew joy' together. You're not alone, no matter how many eyebrows get raised!

Blessings and joy,
Cara
10:59 AM on 03/19/2009
Thank you for your reply! Yay...I can't wait to attend my "free concert"