'Breaking Free: The Really Good News That's Not in the News'

Each of us has deep and equal value. No surprise here. It's when we lose connection to this reality, however, that the trouble starts. Add to that, the mistrust. Think about it. If you do not know that you are more than enough, 'as is,' the need for posturing is not far away. Witness the proliferation of hoaxes abounding these days. We've got a few of these stories this week: the 'balloon boy' caper, alongside the un-tethered bonuses proposed for the bail-out Wall Street crew, including Citibank, Bank of America, and others. Tone-deaf to the impact of their hoaxes, they go on their merry way unscathed.

What's really going on? Play-acting begins the moment we doubt our worth and connection. When authenticity and interconnection gets dismissed, we end up feeling depleted and don't know why. It's as if we meet behind screens, our innermost merit, masked over. All involved are left 'hoodwinked,' upset, discouraged, resentful. We don't like getting involved in hidden theatrical production. As individuals, and global citizens, we lose our way.

The Good News Those Points to Another Way. Witness the international "Women on the Edge of Evolution" teleconference held this past Saturday, with upwards of 6000 listeners (enrollment is free, 13 weeks remaining). The emphasis is our awakening, a stark contrast to the other news.

Many know how natural it is to go ballistic when we realize we've been duped. When we lose our way, it is all too easy to place hopes for happiness onto the outer world, for fame, money, things. But, underneath our anger, the personally honest realize that we, too, can relate, even if we've kept the whole affair pretty hush-hush. This comes with human nature. In the recently released Red Book, Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, put the findings from his own Dark Night:

"...time and again, I lost the path and found it again where I would not have foreseen it. You upheld belief when I was alone and near despair. At every decisive moment you let me believe in myself...there is knowledge of the heart that gives deeper insight. The knowledge of the heart is in no book, and is not found in the mouth of any teacher, but grows out of you like the green seed from the dark earth...But how can I attain the knowledge of the heart? You can attain this knowledge only by living your life to the full..."

The fact of the matter is that we are content creators. We get to choose whether what we create in the world inspires or destroys not only our own private lives, but our way of relating to one another. Our choice: to honor the best in our heart, or let it die?

One HP reader knows the truth of this: "I am 49, nearly 50. When I was 3 I was given a book on archaeology and from then on forward I have been fascinated by the topic. I was dissuaded from this as a career path by my parents, who said that they would not pay for college if I majored in it because they didn't think I could find work; I wound up dropping out of college. At this point, I'm able to go back but have to start again as a freshman; I'm willing to, and am still fascinated by archaeology, but the problem is that I now have kidney failure and that sort of prevents me from doing things like much fieldwork, which would be required. I am not sure of what to do. It is my first love and still one of my greatest."

How many of us have known this dilemma? I am reminded that the body speaks a truth so much deeper than our monkey mind's chatter. The body does not lie. The real question is: are we willing to do whatever we must to bring forward what is deepest in those 'green seeds,' which are, more often than not, what saves us from a worsened plight.

How do we find our way to living life to the full? Senator Ted Kennedy, in his memoir, called it the "true compass." Barbara Marx Hubbard, now in her 80's, calls it our "compass of joy." Said Hubbard: "...The greatest joy is to find those who want what you have to give." Clearly, both Kennedy and Hubbard have known such a joy. What about us?

Many HP know the imperative of such a compass, as well as the price-tag.
"D." writes: "What I ditched was only my own need to try to fit in. Turns out that's not good enough to be everybody's darling either. It strikes back: even before you find you might be lonely..."

A. added: "To thine own self be true."

Neither I nor most of my family fit the "mold." We have lived outside the box our entire lives. I have read various media accounts of what life must be like for those who are black and poor. Nothing in any of those scripts describes my life, growing up as a black and poor schoolgirl. Even the lives of my slave ancestors don't conform to the usual script for the life of a slave. None of the "cookie-cutter "descriptions of things are accurate for me personally, whether the person attempting to describe things is black or white. There are blacks who have indicated to me that I have not lived the "black experience" (whatever that is). I simply point out that I have lived MY black experience, not someone else's, but consider it equally valid.... Such are the hazards of "pigeonholing" people instead of viewing them as individuals. I've always insisted on being who I really am and pursuing things that interest me."

Readers find comfort in the process of following their own compass.

Whether we find our own joy compass or not, gets down to choice. Are we willing to shift our way of thinking? On October 17th, journalistic reporter Lynne McTaggart, author of The Field, and The Intention Experiment, calls this nothing short of a paradigm shift "...from separation to inner connectedness." This may well turn out to be the long range solution to what ails us as a people. Says Hubbard: "...It's clear that out of crisis an emergence of humanity comes...What's arising in us is the evolving potential."

Interesting timing. Failing to find the means of awakening is at root for the recently reported unhappiness in women. It's also the source of theft, trickery. When we believe we lack sufficient value, the temptation is to seize it from others. McTaggart points the way: "being all connected means getting beyond life as competition and struggle." Interconnection does not mean giving up individuality, but, rather, honing it to a powerfully exciting level. Such tending of this 'green seed in the dark earth' cannot help but bring a global garden. What's within is a life force so powerful; it can completely reorganize itself and emerge in higher form.

Consider this:
1) Enroll in the above mentioned course online, expanding your thinking.
2) Play the game: "What if my heart's desire is my compass? Pretend that you receive lavish resources and time to contribute what's deepest in your heart to those who want to receive your gift. What could you co-create with others?
3) Look for evidence that there's lavish permission for you to break free from thinking that keeps you too separate, and life too stale, or small.

What compass would you like to follow? Which ones have worked the best, which, the worst? What questions are you asking about yours, our country's, and our world's? Thanks for taking the time to read, respond, and pass it along. I wish you beautiful news! Cara

 

 

Comments

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Cara,

"I wish you beautiful news". Just let me say that your writing here on this page is about the most beautiful news around. You are a never ending source of inspiration and empowerment for others.

My heart is always happier after reading your posts, this time being no exception.

Thanks for you,
Judith

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Your heartfelt words, Judith, bring tears to my eyes. I do not know any experience that touches me more that deeply felt connection. It is such an affirming rediscovery that we are not alone. I am especially appreciative today.

Thanks for being so central, this morning, to the beautiful news for me,
Cara

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Cara:

Beautiful article. You and I are on similar pages this week. My article is more about liberating ourselves internally from homophobia, but in a grander scale it's about "following the compass" as you eloquently put in this article.

I love your writing!

Love and light!
Jason

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Jason,

Thanks so much, Jason. I'm headed right over to your article. It sounds so timely, as yours inevitably are! What would the HP do without you? What would I? You add so very much. Perhaps because you have the courage to follow your own compass so authentically.

Love,
Cara

[khanti]

When we move away from conflicts furthur and furthur away we see the problem getting smaller and smaller until it becomes insigifinant. If we move closer and closer we are drawn into a votex of emotions. But what pull us towards such conflicts?
When there is a conflict we pause to check if we are at fault. If it is so then we need to rectify the problem or face the consequences of our mistakes. Otherwise we cannot escape the pull of the karmic force. If it is not our fault then we do not accept this unpleasant gift from the owner and move away from it.
A lot of what is happening in this World is due to cause and effect which do not involve us.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Or, another way of looking at it is that we are each a part ot an interconnected whole. Hence, if something is before me, then there is something in it which requires an expansion of my own perception.

Your comment has come at a perfect time. I've just returned from a 2 hour conference where mediation was required between those concerned. The trick in building the bridge, if you can say 'trick,' was accepting that there was a greater force at work in the situation for greater good, and that all each of us needed to do was to stay open, and non-attached to the outcome or being right. Healing prevailed.

Thanks for your valued perspective. Know that it truly matters, as do you.

Cara

[BZ49]

It seems to me that not believing in oneself (aka having an inferiority complex) has the danger of leading to competition and conflict, as one strives to become 'better' than another. Much better is your mention of cooperation and a feeling of 'all one.' We can even see this in the competitive sports of football, etc., where a well ordered team generally comes out ahead of the team with individual stars who feel the separateness. Interesting paradox: collaboration wins (out-competes) the game over the individualists.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Frankly, 49, I do believe that our shifting paradigm is moving exclusively in the direction of 'team.' The best teams hone the talents of the individuals, and this synergy produces the gold. Many thanks for your contribution, and taking the time and energy to respond. We appreciate your angle so very much.

Cara

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Super great post!
I recently told my 14 year old son a story of teenage angst. I wanted to be a writer more than anything. I was the editor of my school newspaper and even won an essay contest to fly to Philladelphia for a weekend of student leaders. However, when I was 17 and applying to college, my father refused to support me to go to school and study writing unless it was to go to law school "Or something to pay for my investment." I remember how crushed I was to have my heart's desire negated. I doubted my ability to earn a living as a writer ever since.

Now, having a son who wants to play guitar and pursue acting, I am finding the broken record of admonishing him for wanting to pursue a career in music without a backup. Classic! Our society is geared by fear and the need to stay safe, and can catch us unaware!
Thanks for the great insights.
kari

[MerhabaAbi]

Hi Kari,

My son is a writer and he's about to graduate with his degree in English Literature. I don't know how he'll make much of a living at that, but it's his life and his dream. Personally, Ithink you write beautifully and I like waht you have to say.

with love,
little brother

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

I'm with you, little brother. What a beautiful letter of encouragement based on genuine personal truth. All good things to your son, as well. He is brave and we need his voice, too.

Love,
Cara

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

The distinction, my dear Kari, is that you are aware, that you are witnessing the replication in the family cycle. I am so convinced that every single time we awaken, and make new choices, it frees not only the next generation, but the next seven, for openers.

I heard a similiar refrain when growing up. Acutally, the furthest thing from my mind was becoming a writer. Art, yes, but writing? I've discovered that writing is simply painting with words. The riches our art offers is so much greater than outer gold, tho' that would be nice, too.

Look at you, Kari: one of the absolute best writers around. I'm so glad you've picked up the pen. We are all richer for your courage. By the by, my absolute best to your son. I"m in the front row cheering.

Love,
Cara

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

Yes, 'the proliferation of hoaxes' and the need for posturing originate from a mistaken appreciation of self. But it's not only the individuals themselves who are mistaken and in doubt about themselves, there's a knock-on effect because we are expected to hold ourselves to high standards. Which is fine as long as it is about avoiding sloth.

But it's a terrible misconception to think that we're all made of 'sloth' - as is so often assumed in worldviews that pride themselves of being 'realistic'. The dangers of depletion and overcropping are equally fundamental and if we ignore them the result is that collective ratchet of measures of 'achievement' that we have built in the effort of avoiding sloth.

If we don't manage to see through it we won't be done in by sloth but by spasm.

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

I should add that the problem resides in the fact that chasing inflated expectations leads to a misallocation of resources.

The danger arises from the fact that it is NOT true that more effort always means better results. Aiming too high can be just as destructive as aiming too low. When people determine their own expectations, the danger of aiming too high is merely a matter of juvenile hubris. But when others determine expectations, they must know strictly more about what can be done and what cannot be done. Otherwise the ratchet leads to overkill by necessity. This simple truth has been buried in modern management. It must be exhumed. The world cannot afford the costs of the alternative.

It seems easy but it is terribly difficult because it's not compatible with the expectations of those who consider themselves managers and hence leaders. Too many excuses have been available for too long.

I think that the 'economy' underlying this is the same no matter what kind of 'achievement' is the subject matter, but certainly including financial ones.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Incredible. That's what you are, Diogenes. Perhaps what would help is that each of us address, or re-address the measure we use for ourselves, and course correct, as needed to optimize this gift of life.

For your words today, and your Wisdom, yet again, I am most grateful.
Cara

[MerhabaAbi]

Hi Cara

It’s taken me 40 years to find myself and I’m alright. Even at my ripe age I occasionally catch myself doing things to please other people so they’ll accept me. Now-a-days I laugh at myself and shake my head when I notice it and I think about what I really feel is right and then adjust course. Sometimes though it feels a little lonely when I’m following my conscience and I have to stand alone. I have very strong social needs and risking social acceptance is hard. But living with myself if I betray my sense of self is even harder.

If I could follow my heart’s desire's compass with adequate resources to share a gift with others, I’d open a free music school for children in a poor community. It wouldn’t take an astronomical amount of money to finance it and I’m sure I could even get volunteer musicians to teach some of the classes. If I get permission from whichever gangs control the area, it might even have a chance to succeed. I might even have the chance to actually start something like that some day.

Is it delusional to have a view of yourself as the person you're trying to be if you're acknowledging that you're not all that yet or may not even become it?

Peace and love,
Little brother

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Greetings, our Little Brother,

Do NOT doubt your dream, my friend. Begin it today. Make a phone call. Write a letter. Start asking around for who would be willing to be on the faculty of your school. Why not? Nothing ventured, as they say, nothing gained. Your heart's dream came from a very wise place. Trust it, and step into this way of being in the world. It need not cost you a red cent. Just speak from your heart, ask for help,and thank those who come your way. We are in this thing together. The sooner our planet 'gets this,' the better, beginning with ourselves. Your 'future self' knows what its doing.

Please, please let me know how it goes.
Cara

[Arithrianos]

Interconnectedness is the only true way to know your own value, since so much of what is valuable is not because of our own life, but the effect we have with others, the cocreation thing. Valuing things from a separation point of view leaves so much out, and of course leads to deception and worse, theft. Any true artist knows full well they are not independant creators, they are a "part" of a whole ongoing evolution/­tradition. This is the true humility and it leads to valuing cooperation over competition, and just like all waves, if you are in harmony with other waves then they all get higher, if you conflict then all get lower, this is the way it always is, the only way to truly get to the top is to carry as many as possible with you. This is the essence to me of my Boddhisattva Vow, that i will not do it just for me, but will cooperate in the Great Perfection that includes all, since there is no real separation possible, we are all in this together no matter what lies we tell ourselves.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

I respect your vow, Arithrianos, and all those who do likewise. Blessings. One of the most powerful parts of research, like Taggart reports, is that what artists have known forever, which you describe so beautifully, is now, at last, being met through science. In my own studio life, I am endlessly amazed at the inter-relatedness of all creation, and art-making. It simply cannot be done without a healthy respect to connection: connection between materials, and the process, itself, of bringing what is held most deeply within us into concrete form.

Many thanks, A., for your ongoing contribution, and daring to speak deeply about what really matters.

Love your way,
Cara

[Arithrianos]

It is amazing sometimes how long it takes scientists to catch up with artists, poets and other mystics. But of course they deal with such primitive tools, so they can be forgiven ;-)