More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Dr. Cara Barker

GET UPDATES FROM Dr. Cara Barker
 

Neda and Tomorrow's Children

Posted: 06/24/09 09:58 AM ET

"...I wrote...for the next generation so they know that we did everything we could to
create a better future for them...this...is dedicated to tomorrow's children..."
Neda's sister, the day before public death


A Foot in Both Worlds. We can become so comfortable with where we are that we're afraid to move into really living and creating more relevant lives. Living in a world changing so rapidly, it's nearly impossible to keep up with shifts around the planet. This is the world our children, and their children, are inheriting. The course of events is ever-changing.

When my life-long friend and I emerged from our 'cave' after four days of retreat and soul-retrieval, we were stunned by what had taken place 'out there,' in our absence. Up until the news of Iran, and then, North Korea, we'd spent a fair amount of time focusing on the imperative of finding joy. It's one thing to speak of joy, and even find it, when 'all's well.' It is quite another beastie to locate joy in a world teetering on destruction, despair, and disappointment. And this doesn't even begin to touch upon the personal challenges so many of us face today, unseen on our radar six months ago. In one sense, the very attempt to find joy may seem even blasphemous. Despite this, let's remember that it's essential we find a way to navigate with one foot in the concrete world, regardless how grim that may seem, and the other foot in that mysterious region which brings reminders of all that is good, holy and redeeming without regard to whether we deserve such miracles or not. After all, no matter how tough winter has been, (and it has) spring comes 'round again.

Meanwhile, half-way around the world, a few short days ago, the college-aged author of the quote above prepared herself to stand up in her own truth, regardless the cost. A few short hours later, her sister, the world now knows as 'Neda,' was killed violently from a gunshot to her chest. A death captured on cell phone, and witnessed 'round the world through social networks. Frankly, only last week many my age were either bewildered by Twittterdom's tweets, or found them annoying. So much for fixed beliefs. By now, most of us are well aware that these very networks have been the lifeline to the voice of a people courageously refusing to be denied in its cry for freedom.

The Call. Ironic that the now, martyred 'Neda's' name is symbolic for the 'Calling.' Her dying face leaves us with this very question of 'Call.' Historically, it's one that's been delegated to the religious, mystics, artists, and those who resonate to the urgings of the interior life, the poetry of the soul. But, today, regardless whether you are comfortable with the language of 'the Call' or not, the reality is that we are faced with the imperative of considering how our choices today contribute to the nourishment and growth of our young, or impede their process of becoming.

Today, as I sit in King County's Superior Court jury selection room, awaiting determination of whether I'll be serving this summons, or dismissed, Neda's face haunts. Like too many of us, I'm afraid, I, too, have been inwardly, and not so-inwardly, whining, and hoping that I would not 'have to' use this week caught up in someone else's drama. You know the drill: the many 'have to's' and 'oughts' demanding attention on our to-do list. We do not like to be inconvenienced. I've slipped into the Bermuda Triangle of self-importance thinking: that sort of egoic 'I've got people to meet, places to go, things to do" attitude. Remembering Neda's sacrifice, I am ashamed.

The fact is it's far too easy to succumb to the call of the comfortable, and forget what it means to put everything you've got on the line for what really matters: the care, feeding and protection of new life. I thank you, Neda, and all those courageous souls who march everywhere for 'tomorrow's children,' that they be free. I thank you for your life, your contribution. I thank your nameless sister for your message, too. I grieve with you, her father; as well as you, a stranger, who knelt beside the pool of blood, and pleading for a return to life. I hold your faceless mother, family, and friends in the heart of my prayers.

The Real Question. Today's newscasters debate whether Neda's photograph will change the course of the Iranian regime. It's doubtful. A deeper question may well be are we willing to let its impact touch our own hearts, and deepen our commitment to living more aware lives? Perhaps the real issue is how do we find joy in a world where too many of us are seduced by comfort, and so few have the courage to rise up in the face of adversity in the hope of making this a better world, a world of greater aliveness, compassion, and fuller freedom, despite the dictators, power mongers, and soul whores that governments, politics, and mega corporations seem to normalize. How do we come home to our heart? How do we forgive ourselves as Prodigals, returning to what holds deepest value as we prepare the way for our children, that they might stay awake more than have we?

Renewing Hope. As I ask this question of myself, a memory returns that offers a clue. Five days ago, we found out we were 'godparents', of sorts, to a new little family nestled in the trellis two feet from our front door! Returning from what I call The Motherhouse, my neighbor George led me to the miracle: atop a lush, freshly crafted nest sat a petite mother robin. Sequestered amongst the leaves, her dark chocolate eyes stared back at me. Despite the fact that I was inches away, she did not budge. Her commitment to protecting her un-hatched eggs, clear. By now, her babies are three. Mama and papa are taking shifts, returning with wiggly and crawly things for their ravenous, outstretched beaks. This morning, as I trundled off to court, an exhausted mama was sleeping alongside her babies, their beaks upturned through their feathers, anticipating early breakfast. There was joy in Mudville. I could not help but smile.

Thank you, Big Mama. What we can do, despite the mess in our world, is renew our vow to keep our eyes wide open to joy where we find it, for gratitude, where we've lost it, and pass along our message of thanks to those who could use it. For openers, I thank you for being here, being you, making a difference.

A Call for Help: My jury number's just been called. Join me. Please forward your messages via your response to this article, to all those in our world who are standing strong for tomorrow's children, for Neda's family,too. You never know who's watching, who could use the lift of your thoughts, feelings, encouragement. Please link the above to your circle of contacts. Let's kick ass, and raise some voices. Together, let's come home to heart. I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible. Bless you.

 

Follow Dr. Cara Barker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker

 
 
  • Comments
  • 54
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Bloggers
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page: 1 2  Next ›  Last »  (2 total)
12:36 PM on 06/27/2009
The difference between the Kent State deaths and the young lady in Iran is that in 1970 the political power structure in this country referred to those 4 kids (and all those who protested any injustice) as "bums." I remember back then it was usually mothers with children who were upset by those killings.
Neda is being demonized by Iran's politcal power structure in much the same way. But this time, with more than just a news magazine cover to look at, the effect of this one person's death is felt world wide.

BTW, there was another shooting incident between law enforcement and college protestors that resulted in the deaths of 2 students in 1970. Does anyone remember the name of THAT university?
We don't hear about it at all, while everyone of that generation knows Kent State and everyone of this generation will know Neda.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
11:48 PM on 06/28/2009
Dear noaxe397, Thank you for coming by. I do remember vividly the scenes from the past that you mention. Times have changed in many ways. Those lost in such a horrific way, do, indeed, deserve to be remembered by those who witnessed such a dark place in our history.

Many thanks. Drop by again!
Cara
12:56 AM on 06/26/2009
Dear Dr. Cara, thank you for this thoughtful piece. I had not seen and did not choose to see Neda's death. I changed my mind after what you said about your experience in Viet Nam - it was the word "witness" that did it. I chose to witness the senseless death of this young woman in order to honor her like so many have done. That alone is hopeful.

Usedtobequiet
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
12:01 PM on 06/26/2009
How wonderful to hear from you, Usedtobequiet! In my last two weeks away, I thought of you, and sent you warm thoughts and prayers for joy and courage. Reading what you just wrote, I am awed again, by your continuous choice for growth. Ah, were there only more like you in the world........

Meanwhile, I am blessed that you are in mine. Let me know how you are.

Joy to you and yours,
Cara
12:17 AM on 06/29/2009
I was away for a little while too, and strangely enough, I also have jury duty coming up soon. I don't know if this has happened to you, but I am always amazed by the advice I get when I tell someone I have jury duty. Usually it's a hint on how to get out of it. What would happen if we all tried to get out of it? Certainly it's not a perfect system, but it's what we have. The least I can do is serve.

I'm glad you're back. Peace to you, Cara.

Usedtobequiet
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Kari Henley
Make a Wish- now make it bigger.
03:34 PM on 06/25/2009
Bravo and well done, Cara.
A deep and intense piece about Neda's death and her profound impact on us all. I love what Judith wrote as well. I could not bring myself to watch her death. I do not want to see it as the sheer horror is enough to penetrate the haze of everyday American living. We do not even recognize how lucky we are.

Thanks for the reminder as you wind through jury duty - another man's drama and also a gateway to our democratic freedoms we cherish so tightly.
Love
Kari
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
07:59 PM on 06/25/2009
Dear Kari,

First, I want you to know that I've missed reading your wonderful blogs. Tonight, I'll see what I can do about playing catch-up.

Also, I understand, completely, what you feel about not watching that painful footage. Truly, I felt the same way before army nursing during Viet Nam. What I came to realize is that one small gift I could make was the not turning away...a sort of witnessing, of sorts, to what is unspeakable. I cannot explain just how this turned things upside down for me. Suffice it to say, the practice did do just that. Perhaps it was because I saw the pain of isolation that happened to so many with their visible and invisible injury.

Let's cherish together what matters. Today is a new day.

Much love,
Cara
12:29 PM on 06/25/2009
Cara,

Another thoughtful posting from you. Thank you for your words during more difficult times for our planet. And best wishes to the women of Iran and the Middle East as they stand up to abuse and dismissal of themselves as less than even second class citizens.

Keep us posted on your litle robin family.

Linda from Ohio
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
12:42 PM on 06/25/2009
Thank you, Linda. It is just so hard to imagine what the women of Iran and other areas of the Middle East must endure. It is also more than impressive to note their unimagineable courage in standing up for who they are. More than inspiring. Just the other day I caught news footage from someone's i-phone documenting the courage of one woman who 'dared' to walk down the street with her hair free in the breeze...and offense that it against the law. She also wore a feminine, flowing dress, another offense to that government. May we be thankful for our freedom each day.

As for the robin family, they are now well entrenched in flying lessons. Consequently, their flying school has them 'out in the world,' and less in the nest. One more reminder that there is a bigger world out there for all of us, and, yet, the nest, such a comfort when needed!

Love your way,
Cara
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
athenasword
wisdom is beautiful
10:20 AM on 06/25/2009
Symbols are so powerful. And even though Neda was not involved in the protests, her innocent and violent death has given voice to the events there. For me she symbolizes a true martyr; her life taken, she ignites passion and awareness around the world. Her name will be in my heart forever.

I so admire the courage and passion of the Iranian women. They are brave beyond measure.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
11:30 AM on 06/25/2009
I'm with your sentiment completely, athenasword. And, while we're at it, your screen name seems to really fit your heart.

All praises,
Cara
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
07:17 AM on 06/25/2009
Today, we are all Iranians. Except maybe John McCain, until he apologises for wanting to bomb them.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
08:58 AM on 06/25/2009
You are right, mamacat! Maybe we can encourage him to find his 'inner Neda.' Meanwhile, the rest of us will do what we must to not harden our hearts.

Great to hear from you! I've been wondering how you are?

Peace and joy,
Cara
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Judith Rich
Rx For The Soul: www.judithrich.com
01:58 AM on 06/25/2009
Dear Cara,

Just back from church and a joy fill up. Boy, I needed it!

No surprise that our two posts are like book ends on the subject of Iran and the women. But thank you for reminding us to stay connected to that which brings joy and peace. It is a brilliant and beautiful tribute to Neda as only you can express.

My warrior woman gets so fired up and passionate about these things, I'm ready to join those marching in the streets of Tehran. Your beautiful writing is a graceful reminder that even in the midst of suffering, there is joy if we're only willing to behold it.

Many thanks for your steadfast stand for peace,
Judith
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
09:01 AM on 06/25/2009
Imagine that I'm marching in those streets right along with you, my friend. Short of that, let's do what we can today, to make the difference we can, and to celebrate the beauty in what is here.

Your Wednesday night place sounds so timely for all of us!

Love and Light,
Cara
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed and Deb Shapiro
12:11 AM on 06/25/2009
Blessed Cara, You are a jewel of a soul .. Thank you.. as I said in Judith's post I am passionate about this..

It broke my heart when Neda was killed

Viva Neda ..she lives in the hearts of the world... you can take the body but never the soul.

May her death be an inspiration for the LIGHT to remove the darkness.

May all people be free from suffering,

Ed
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
12:23 AM on 06/25/2009
Dear Ed,

As usual, I am with you completely. Viva Neda. Viva the inner Neda in us, and in the world Soul.

It is so good to be back, and to be back in touch with you. I've missed you and Deb big-time.

May we be free,
Cara
11:13 PM on 06/24/2009
Here are the lessons to learn from from Neda:

You can't bring stones and bottles to a gun fight. You also can't beat a tyrannical, corrupt government with pitchforks and torches.

Say what you will about the gun laws in America, but the fact is, we Americans won't be bringing stones and bottle to the fight that's for sure.....

God bless America, God bless the 2nd Amendment.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jwalter
The State is a gang of thieves writ large.
11:30 PM on 06/24/2009
amen
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
12:25 AM on 06/25/2009
Amen says it all! ....as does 'ah-woman!'

Cara
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
12:24 AM on 06/25/2009
And, God bless you for taking the time to express your right to free speech.

All the best,
Cara
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Balzac
10:33 PM on 06/24/2009
It's unspeakable and terrible that such a strong-willed and brave young woman was cut down for speaking up on behalf of freedom. Her bravery benefits everyone in every country, not just Iranians. Neda and all the civilians who've been killed and their families deserve so much better.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
12:27 AM on 06/25/2009
Yes, people like Neda, simply individuals going about their lives until the day when they Must speak up, are vital to our freedom. As T.S.Eliot put it: "....costing not less than everything."

May we be grateful for this day, this breath, our freedom. May we remember we are brothers and sisters across the seas.

Blessings,
Cara
08:23 PM on 06/24/2009
While the loss of life is always deplorable, come on, let's be real --

It ought to be pretty obvious that these protests are little more than a CIA Operation designed to destabilize Iran. Mousavi is an old guard Iranian politician and not a very nice one. The "students" carry signs in English and twitter in English. The whole thing is obviously a big PR job from the start.

That Neda should fall into this trap and be killed for it is abominable. But let's face it, this situation in Iran is not about freedom.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
08:31 PM on 06/24/2009
To each his own. May you be well. May you know joy. May you find openings where doors have been closed. Many thanks for dropping by and speaking your own truth.

Cara
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jwalter
The State is a gang of thieves writ large.
08:19 PM on 06/24/2009
"I AM NEDA" ...but you're not one of the thousand of faceless civilians killed in Afghanistan, Iraq, Gaza, Lebanon, Pakistan, etc.? You won't see that on American TV, now will you?

media bias. some call it propaganda.

Just remember that it has happened here in the past and it can happen again.

remember Kent State.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
08:21 PM on 06/24/2009
I'm with you. Let's remember, and act in a way that values life, and freedom.

All good things,
Cara
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Trickywoo
Your friendly curmudgeon.
07:41 PM on 06/24/2009
Here's part 2, if part 1 made it past the moderators:

Like you with your robins, I take great joy every spring in watching the starlings who nest in my carport. They build their nests so carefully, and dad-to-be brings food back to mom-to-be, who's protecting the precious eggs. They both work hard, and they work together, and as a result, every year I get to hear the baby starlings calling for their food, watch them get their first flying lessons, and finally see the whole family fly away fearlessly, into the great big world of sky. To me, it doesn't get better than witnessing their noble calling being played out. I'm a very lucky woman!

And so I will continue to renew my hope, to find joy all around, to try and keep remembering that every person has some good in his or her heart, and to honor Neda's example of speaking up for what's right by living a fully committed life. It's the least I can do for my children. Thank you, and may many blessings come to you!
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
08:29 PM on 06/24/2009
You, Trickywoo, are the many blessings coming my way as you speak. I shall remember your starlings whenever I hear and see them. My, they have such good taste building their nursery for someone as conscious as you to witness.

Many, many blessings and much joy,
Cara
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Eli Davidson
Award Winning Women's Small Business Coach,
07:40 PM on 06/24/2009
My heart broke open with the brilliance of your tribute to the Neda...and the Neda that can lives in each of us.

Thank you for making our world a better place for our children...and all of us!
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
08:23 PM on 06/24/2009
Oh, Eli, my heart broke open with the courage of these young people, and particularly the women. Yesterday on the news, in case you didn't catch it, was i-phone coverage of a young woman who dared to walk down the street with her hair freely flowing in the breeze. To imagine that this is against the law is unthinkable.

Let's remember our sisters, and one another.
Peace and joy,
Cara
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Trickywoo
Your friendly curmudgeon.
07:38 PM on 06/24/2009
Dear Dr. Barker,
First, sorry this is so long that it's a two-parter. Can't help it. You needn't be ashamed when you catch yourself thinking of your own comfort, convenience, whatever you want to call it. Look what you do with your blogs here--you cheer on, you reach out to people you'll never meet, you do a lot of GOOD. You're allowed to do good to yourself as well, IMHO.

Will Neda's death change the course of events in Iran? To me, whether it changes Iran as a whole doesn't matter, because she changed my life, your life, countless others' individual lives. That's what matters. You said as much to Diogenes--one life at a time, one person at a time, each of us changing and becoming more fully ourselves. Neda's *life* and her tragic death are an example for us all to step up and live, all the way and without hesitation, and be true to our best selves, no matter what may come. One person at a time, one moment at a time, the entire world can (and does) change for the better.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
08:27 PM on 06/24/2009
I love your message, Trickywoo. As far as I am concerned, there are no strangers. My son taught me this long ago at four. He'd 'gotten in trouble' at pre-school for talking to a homeless man. The teacher called me in do to my son's 'inappropriate behavior,' which she'd not bothered to check out with him. When I asked him about the incident he said: "Oh, Mommy, that man was not a stranger. A stranger is just a new friend I've not invited yet into my heart." Out of the mouth of babes. I can tell you one thing, Trickywoo, had he lived, he would have really liked you. I know that I do!

Joy to you,
Cara