It sounds blasphemous, I know. Why would Lady O, queen of the talk-show venue for quarter of a century, evoke the need for self-forgiveness? While throngs are upset with Oprah's departure, others are sensing that the vacancy is purposeful. Nature abhors a vacuum, after all. It is time for each of us to consider the legacy we are leaving, too. This week, as Oprah Winfrey waves goodbye, something in us needs to wave hello.
Regardless whether you are an Oprah groupie, a disgruntled fan, or completely indifferent, you've got to admit that Oprah has been willing to "pull out all the stops," get on the playing field, and deliver for longer than many of her fans have been walking this earth. A number of them, like Julia, a 29-year-old attorney, report: "I grew up with Oprah. As my mom watched her show, back when I was four, I watched alongside her with my Legos. She was building an audience, and I was building my world. We were both new at what we were doing. I remember my mom's friends discussing the show, and the way that all sorts of situations were discussed at length. Even though I was a kid, I knew something important was going on, some sort of 'women's work' that I got to witness. With her leaving, I do wonder what will take her place, because nothing really can."
Irreplaceable you. Amen, sister. Whenever any of us, including you and me, answers our call, it will be uniquely renewing. There will also come a time when the moment arrives to move on down the road. Like yours, Lady O's life has made a difference. When you or Oprah or anyone else have courageous conversations with your own awakening self, everyone benefits. The end result is a more connected world, one with increasing evidence of shared inspiration, collaboration and celebration.
Take yourself, for example. I cannot tell you how many times I have been touched, inspired, motivated to "do better" by your interaction with one another, here, on this site. You and Oprah are living larger than what you believed was possible some time ago. You would not be here, joining into the conversation unless you were open to challenging yourself more, and hiding less.
There are those who believe that heaven is in the hereafter. There are those who believe that what matters lives only in the present. Whichever camp you occupy, we do sense, in our deepest selves, that life is both too short and too long to waste time pretending to be who we are not, pretending to be less than you are, son or daughter, bestowed with divine heritage to shine on, pay it forward, turn whatever you fear into the stuff from which courage is garnered, and creative solution is born. One of Oprah Winfrey's gifts has been the demonstration of the difference between the dreamer and one who manifests through clear intention. Inspiring millions, Ms. Winfrey has done so by claiming good intention in service to human transformation. It is one thing to serve the ego. It is another to realize that whatever resources we've been given are magnified by giving them away through serving what is beyond self-doubt.
Whatever we've projected onto Oprah, the good, the bad or the ugly, it is time to take back the projection and own our own gifts and talents, cultivating whatever seed of desire embedded in the heart, bringing it forward through our own capacity and collaboration to make a difference in the world, even on lousy, bad hair days. Remember one thing: Oprah did not pull off what she has pulled off alone. She "gets" the idea behind "it takes a village," and has been willing to do the necessary outreach. She's mastered something else: the willingness to receive abundantly, and pass it along. The time has come for each of us to "get cracking." This includes forgiving ourselves for taking the time it has taken to get to this decision.
Life is impermanence. Perhaps this is why it is time for Oprah to go, time for her reinvention. It surely is time for ours. So, if you are one of the grieving, or witnessing those who are, (overhearing others say: "What will we do without her") take heart. All things must come to an end. Without endings, there can be no new beginnings, neither opportunity nor room for whatever seeds of consciousness planted in your heart to come into fruition, and shared at harvest. One thing is for certain. There's a bigger game in town than we've been willing to play. Not, necessarily bigger in the eyes of the world or media ratings, but bigger in the sense of requiring faith in something beyond self, fear, mistrust.
Prescription for procrastination. The next time you have an inspiration, and are dragging your feet in the "getting your show on the road department," what if you were to play the game called "act as if"? It goes like this: Ask yourself what the person you most admire would do. For example: What action step might Oprah take next with your heart's desire? Do not censor the answer that comes. Write it down. With a quietened mind, sit with what comes, and ask your deepest wisdom to direct you to take one little action step today that would best renew your Spirit. This will have a ripple effect on others.
Be forewarned. Whatever moves you towards the renewal of life will require a shedding of what is in the way of greater good coming into your life. Life renewal comes in whatever form is needed, stays as long as necessary, and like a good guest, knows when it is time to leave. Whenever its time to grow, expect change. At these junctures, the soul cries out for liberation into something large enough to house its evolution, some new stage.
We forgive Oprah for moving on, because we know that it's not wise to overstay and dwarf development. As she moves off the stage, into the wings, we are charged with a kick in the backside, a cue to assume our own. It is our time to get out of the bleechers, taking whatever we admire in others, and grow it in the soil of our own lives, in positive, present, and precise ways. It's time to renew our own spirit, remembering what's available to Oprah is possible for anyone. It is a matter of choice, and willingness to pay the piper.
Meaning this: Your next chapter requires galvanizing the gumption to step through fear, know that there is a need for the unique expression that you are. It demands a willingness to plug into that universal source of life energy, like any good electrician, and get our show on the road. Maybe your 'audience' is small, perhaps today your "show" is composed of a neighbor, who needs help hauling out the trash, or a stranger, who is glum, and looking for some reason to smile; maybe your audience is a child with a temperature, who could use an extra cuddle, or a widower you know who has been fearful to date, and could use a reminder that it is OK to grow forward when the holy nudge strikes the heart. Who knows? We are each here with purpose, even when we claim we don't know ours.
Two women come to mind that we recently buried. They did not know each other. They claimed they did not know their purpose. They did not have an international television show, nor did they give away their favorite things, trips to Australia, nor cars. What they did leave behind, as Oprah does today, is a legacy to live in accordance with a genuine heart. We are changed not because they leave, but because they have touched us. Each passes on the gauntlet of the greatest relay race the world has known: that "hand-off" to those of us still waiting, still procrastinating to run the race that is ours to run, while we are here this day.
Life is reinvention. Just when we've gotten all comfy and cosy, the universal moving company van pulls up to our door, and says "get packing." Some situation arrives in your life that says: "Hey, you. I'm not done with you, yet! There's more life for you to live out, in this new and unexpected form. You might not see the possibilities for yourself; you might be mired in self-doubt. You might be drawing back, when it is time to step forward. Stop dawdling, pretending to be less wise, less gifted, less amazing than you are. Get yourself out into the world. When you renew your spirit, you bring life wherever you go. This is not just about you, you know! Follow your heart. A chain reaction will follow. You have no idea who's watching. It's none of your business, actually. The truth is that its time to let your heart sing in whatever way brings joy."
Your turn: What's your intention? Where do you need to forgive yourself more, and judge your dream less? Where would you like to play a bigger and/or more meaningful game? I'm listening, and learning from you, my teachers.
For more, see carabarker.net. For updates, contact me at carabarker.net, or dr.carabarker@gmail. To receive email notices when I post new blogs on HuffPost, click "Become a Fan" at the top of this page. Stay tuned for upcoming developments with The Love Project, including "Practicing Love." Follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker.
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This process fails when we want to know, to over-analyze a sunset, for instance. Adam and Eve
were ‘in’ this ‘place’ before the arrival of reason as self-awareness. Their ‘sin’ was to want to know how it was that they ‘knew’—they could no longer ‘go with it’ and ‘play’ as does the puppy or artist.
In the OT, the angel wrestled with at the ford, as his brother/double; results in heart attack if fail; he just 'limped' with respect to his second chakra energies damaged.
Jung’s #2 is ‘old’, at ease and indifferent; it is heavy, dark, and connected to everything, but does not care because it is equal to everything; it enjoys things with no expectations. The reasonable part is fluffy, agitated, insecure, alone, vulnerable, and enjoys nothing.
The goal is to be able to ‘be’ or ‘see’ these two parts simultaneously.
A meaningful Memorial Day your way. much appreciation your way,
Cara
My wife used it to help me understand the importance of "making the rounds" today. There is a lot happening in the village today.
Historically, I have had to work at staying away from TV, so I know very little about Ms. O. Traditionally, I shunned most ideas from other's regardless of the format. I'm getting a bit closer to the final curtain and I feel very secure here in a place I don't understand the language, so I'm working on being more involved.
I liked your agrarian theme. It reminded me of a poem I wrote is '95' called Agronomy.
From dawn to dusk the work is done.
The daily measure added to the soul.
Feast or famine the farmer grows into himself.
Guided by more than what can be known or felt.
Each day an unfolding mystery, rolling courageously forward.
Now, I am alive.
Now, I have the prize.
For today is mine by Grace
Tomorrow is the seed I plant in sleep.
When it blossoms and becomes today,
Again, by Grace I go my way.
I just got back to town, in preparation for two more trips in theses next two weeks, and simply had to pause to wish you a marvelous day. But, also, to thank you for the 'new' word that you share so generously. It is a beautiful word, and one that goes deep for me on both sides of the Family Tree, although from different cultures. It all goes to prove we are One, indeed, and in deed.
As for your poem, I am printing it out so that I can calligraphy it by hand and frame it for my studio. In fact, Gems, the 'seed' is blossoming' as we speak. May Grace nurture all of ours, as we carry on. What a blessing you are.
Peace your way,
Cara
Joy and blessings your way,
Cara
Joy and peace your way,
Cara
I said to her that I wished that the people who have done something that really changes the world were applauded as much as a talk show host.
My mother said she wished that too, in addition to Oprah's celebration, for what world-changing people really change for the better are people's lives, and Oprah did that too.
Irrelevant? If you know it all, have seen it all, felt it all, then anything more may be irrelevant to you, but consider that millions of people have been inspired by Oprah, and a few perhaps actually made changes in their lives for the better. Hardly irrelevant.
Like my response to Bill's comment some days ago, mine to you is missing, I guess, in virtual space. So, I simply want to thank you again, for offering your experience and Wisdom here. I agree with you. So much Good is happening in the world by those not in the limelight, who never hear a thank you. Not that they serve however they serve for recognition,but, let's face it. Acknowledgment is welcome thing in a world so busy racing with one another, rather than noticing. Whoever the change agent is, whatever costume they wear, if what they are doing improves the quality of living this rare an precious life, than I say 'bravo.' In the end, I guess we are either 'relevant,' irrelevant,' or detrimental, based on the attitude we carry which is the message beneath the message. To you, a marvelous messenger, and your mama, too, I say bravo, well done!
Gratefully,
Cara
Boy have I been the dreamer at times, maybe too many times.
I see Oprah as a great example of what I call The Genius Formula. Creativity. brainpower, intention PLUS action. Most think of genius as the brain power of someone like Einstein. NOT. It is that power, that creativity plus ACTION.
Action helps eliminate the killer Doubt.
Love your writing Cara but I you know that.
Peace on ya.
BB
Peace on ya my friend.
Here's to a week of intentional and joy-filled action!
Cara
This is the strangest thing. I just got back in town before two trips over the next two weeks, (Hence, I'll be back on June 15th) and I found you here. I could have sworn I answered you last week, but no apparent signs! Perhaps the intent was simply living in my heart, how knows?
On the other hand, what I did not say, last week, or silently, was that this very weekend, Memorial Day, I thought of you, in remembering your service. I don't know about the military, Bill, but I do recall with much fondness, your way of serving so beautifully through your expression of the Good at work in the world. I was watching some young people on the hockey field, (out of season, yes?) and I thought of your picture, and your process, and your genius. Your intentional actions, your humor, your sense of the supportive simply instills the desire for others to act on their dreams. Oh, I send you so, so much appreciation and love,
Cara
We can all feel each other if we try. When we get out of our heads and into our spirits we find that we are close personal friends with Oprah, Gandhi, Jesus, Mohammed, Socrates et al, and each other. Our work is to enjoy this physical sensory consensus reality and to help others enjoy it too. We do this by emanating the force of God that lives inside us all. Whether or not we a open to the flow and letting it ripple out through us, to be a messenger, is what makes all the difference.
My heart breathes with such ease, reading each of your words, and savoring the Wisdom that has, no doubt about it, come from making conscious choices. Your Light is showing. Count on me as one of your newest fans, with much appreciation. I send you all good wishes, and a bravo, besides, Cara
Ultimately, everything is One so we already know each other.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson
Where was Marianne?
I do believe what Marianne is bringing to the attention of those who are paying attention is the powerful healing that comes from Practice, whatever one defines as the meaningful Spiritual Practice for them. It does all get down to opening and choice.
A marvelous holiday to you, from one of your fans,
Cara
I don't believe this is a case of media whatsoever. This was the sole production of Harpo.
Why was she not included? As we know, MW was a large part of Oprah's online conversations and information.
My observation of myself and everyone else I know on the journey of self-awareness is that the new language comes quickly to their lexicon, but the walk lags way behind the talk. Way behind.
And that's never so demonstrable as when a stressful event pervades ones life, at which time, more often than not, the high ideals get immediately jettisoned and the coarseness emerges.
I don't write this feeling jaded but rather cognizant that we must be a vigilant observer of our lives, to watch the thoughts and emotions that connote our attitudes. Make corrections along the way. It can be a long journey.
You are. This is clear.
Love your way,
Cara
They are not the majority, that's for certain. Many are addicts, in mental wards etc. It's very difficult to deal with a world unaware.
"My observatioÂn of myself and everyone else I know on the journey of self-awareÂness is that the new language comes quickly to their lexicon, but the walk lags way behind the talk. Way behind. "
Those you speak of may be on the 'journey of self-awareness' (just like everyone else), but, they are NOT self-aware.
What does 'the walk' look like to you?
"And that's never so demonstrabÂle as when a stressful event pervades ones life, at which time, more often than not, the high ideals get immediatelÂy jettisoned and the coarseness emerges."
What does it look like to you, when one does NOT jettison those ideals? Do you have any idea what the opposite looks like? In your experience?
I am joining you in what you say, shaking my head 'yes,' and celebrating your offering, as always. May this find you basking beneath the evergreens. I have, quite literally, a forest of them beyond my back porch maybe 100 feet away, as 'we speak.' winks your way,
Cara
I fall into the camp of those who never really paid much attention to Oprah. I heard a lot about her and her generosity But I never even watched an episode. I do however understand the courage it takes to release yourself from a safe place to explore more of yourself. And to that I say "cheers Oprah, good for you."
I like my illusions of permanence they're comforting, they make me feel safe. I also like understanding beyond the illusion sometimes. It goes back and forth. What makes it easier than it otherwise would be is the confidence I have that my family and friends will be there for me when I need them.
We are all connected by life force. Everybody has his or her own answer about what it all means. Mine is that we just don't know what it means if it even means anything. I do know that we are here and I believe it is good to help each other out and to live bravely. Fear will be present with most of us when we release our need for illusions of permanence, but without fear, we couldn't be brave, we'd just be fearless. And I for one am not fearless.
love,
little brother
As we are all connected by Life Force, as you say, it is impossible that those we love will not be there, albeit, our 'form' changes when it is time to 'graduate,' move, whatever. In the meantime, what has worry ever solved or resolved? I can't think of a thing. So, I love what you say. Being here, in the moment is the best connector I know. I thank you, for the connection with The Connection. Great dessert for the day, I can tell you............
Love, beauty, wisdom your way,
Cara
I watched the "finale" yesterday and was extremely touched by Oprah and how she chose to "sign off". What she left her viewers with yesterday was the quintessential wisdom that applies across the board. It wasn't new or earth-shattering, but then the truth never is. The truth is eternal and ancient and I believe Oprah truly is tapped into the deep wisdom that comes from the highest source.
Her biggest lesson was gratitude and that's really it, isn't it? No matter what it looks like, no matter how high or low, joy filled or emptied and saddened, there is only one truth and that is, love is. Love is, period. It's all love. You and I have written and taught about this for decades and Oprah has ministered the same message along with all the greatest teachers throughout time. All there is, is Love.
Thank you for being a constant reminder of this through your writings and through your very being. We all need a daily dose of remembrance, for in the drift of life, down here in the trenches, it can get pretty "dicey", dark and easy to forget.
In my eyes, you a gift as great as Oprah. You are cut from the same cloth.
I treasure you!
Judith
Sweet dreams,
Cara
Too many viewers treat he as some kind of deity. Oprah is just a GREAT Human Being. Many of her viewers need to discover that quality within themselves.
Leave it to you, to Call it out. Brilliant,
Cara
You are right Cara and I stand corrected. Giving up at this point....Hugs
I'm right there with you, letting it go! oh, how I love teamwork with you.
Yes, Lady Jane, I remember Phil D., also, and do you remember Mike Douglas? All seem to have been stepping stones to where we are today in the inquiry through media. As for your comments, they do resonate, I must say. After my son was killed two decades ago, I had a very big dream, in which he was telling me, from 'the other side': there are infinite roads to the Truth of who we are: Love in action on the physical plane. It was a great assist to me in supporting something I have always believed which is simply this: whatever path one is on is the right one for them to find their way back home to their birthright, Origin and Destination: Love.
So, whatever 'floats our boat.'
What I admire, (one of the things) so much about you, Jane, is that you are stepping up, your are responding to your Call, which, at the moment is using your very real Voice in a way that makes a difference. You are no bystander, but witness and spokesperson for what is in the heart of your Spirit. We are changed by this risk, this Light alive in the world. If you only knew how much who you are so bravely inspires and lifts my own Spirit. Just trust me, in this!
All blessings and praise to your door,
Cara
God love you Cara, and so do I.
Where would I like to play a bigger game? I would like my passionate work to reach more people who are passionate to meet their quintessential self and bring it fully to others and our world.
Peace be with you, and that blessed heart of yours,
Cara
See you soon again ;)