THE BLOG
08/02/2010 12:56 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

WTF with OMG?

OMG!OMG!OMG! I'm trying to say it very very fast, with resonance, and alas, I fail. I try this every day, cheered on--if there is such a thing as "cheer" in dark humor-- by infinite bird chatter on television, radio, in the streets high and low of Los Angeles.

OMG!OMG!OMG! It is infinite and adamant, this brain-chipped bird-chirp au moment, in its insistent concrete sweep of yesterday's American spoken language, the seemingly once alive, bright, and popular, antique language expressions that chorused before.

It is a worthy endeavor, I remind myself. Communication is key to me, (OMG!OMG!OMG!!) and I'm trying to get inside the skin of this country and its language.

It's a new language, and I hear people my age mimic it, desperately at times. After all, in this culture, youth creates the language. To adopt is to stay, well, the hope is, young. (IMHO!)

What I know of vocabulary--and the language I speak naturally--is not just out of favor. It's as dead as dust.

I definitely am challenged by this new language. Even the 1970's, "Where's that at?" sounds artful compared to using initials to indicate words. (No time for slang? Really? Just initials?)

In my high school, one utterance of "Where's that at?" or anything equivalently dangling, swiftly banished the speaker to the back of the school, permanently out of "smart" classes and away from the popular, high profile group. (In other words, no glamorous BFFs).

Today that may sound harsh, but language and grammar were the rules for royalty in my society.

Learning this new non-speak (George Orwell warned us about it in his book, 1984, though his timing was not exact) is a worthy endeavor, I reckon, since learning the language of any foreign country you inhabit or even visit--even if that foreign country is your own--is essential. (IMHO, of course).

See, I like communication. So I am down with what's up, but only pragmatically. (George Carlin understood).

I much prefer speaking splintered, heavy-on-the-pantomime French with Parisian friends who delight in my enthusiasm and ridiculous lack of accent. But here in the abbreviated disconnected word-deconstructed America, lol.

And RIP vocabulary.

I'm not complaining here. I do that more privately elsewhere.

I'm just considering whether the new language is possible for me, or how in the world I can make it be. Suggestions would be most appreciated.

On the other hand, OMG!OMG!OMG! my horoscope says I am wildly imaginative and adore new challenges! I will ponder one hand at a time, starting there. Awesome.
WTF and lol.

Subscribe to the Lifestyle email.
Life hacks and juicy stories to get you through the week.