04/08/2013 04:28 pm ET Updated Jun 08, 2013

Are Men Really From Mars?

Are Men Really From Mars?

I don't think so.

We've heard it over and over again: "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. We are so different." I am here to say that it just plain isn't true! Not the way I look at things, anyhow.

Yes, men and women are biologically different. Yes, there is research that supports difference in how our brains function. Yes, we are socialized differently in our families and in societies. So yes, we tend to, as a theme, behave differently.

But this is where the difference ends.

And how do I know this, you ask? Because I have spent countless hours behind closed doors with the most amazing men on the planet (get your mind out of the gutter. I mean in my private practice!), and I am a living, breathing woman with great insight in the world.

Here is what I know for sure, and I tell this to all of the women in my practice who are forever worried about "him":

Guys hurt the way we hurt.

Guys feel insecure and inadequate the way we do.

They need to be approved of the way we do.

When guys fall in love with us, they also get that pit of anxiety if we pull away.

They fear rejection the same way we do.

They worry about their sexual adequacy the way we do.

They need to feel appreciated and respected the way we do.

Just like us women, guys also like to be complimented.

Guys need to feel needed the way we do.

And, guys need to feel sexually desired... that's right, the way we do.

So whether you're single and dating (and worried about how he feels), or in a long-term relationship/married and want to understand how to keep it going, be sure to keep these things in mind. And always remember that both planets -- although different on the outside -- are really the same at the core, where it counts!