Absent fathers.
Abusive dads.
Poor role models for children.
Today's media are full of stories about fathers and dads who are absent in their children's lives; who harm their children with various forms of abuse; who are poor role models to their children on a variety of levels.
Turn on the TV. Listen to the radio. Scroll down through social media on your tablet, phone or computer. The stories are endless of fathers and dads who have simply turned their backs on their children. Drug usage, jail or prison time, neglect, abandonment; these are just some of the reasons why dads might ignore their responsibility to be a father, to be a daddy. The amount of children in the U.S. who are not living with their fathers has more than doubled in the last fifty years. More than doubled! Indeed, one in three kids in America live in a home without their father present. Countless research will tell you that our kids are at great risk without strong, present, loving dads in their lives.
Yet, that's not how all fathers are. That's not me. I am not that kind of daddy. I am not that kind of father.
Fatherhood is important to me. In fact, it is a gift that I treasure, and one that I have been blessed with. As a biological, adoptive and foster father of over 50 children, I value the wonderful opportunity to be a father to so many children, and I take that role seriously.
To be sure, the children in my home not only need my love, support and involvement in their lives, they are also watching me to see what a father and a husband is supposed to be like. After all, at some point in their lives, the boys in my home are most likely going to be a husband and a father, and I want to instill in them what a dad and husband look like. Along with this, the girls in my home are going to likely find a husband later in their lives, as well, and I want to model what a good husband to them should be like, and how the father of their children should act. I want them to chose wisely based on how I act, how I treat them and how I treat their mother.
I do this by loving my wife, with all that I have. I lift her up in prayer each day. I respect her and support her in all she does. I laugh with her, dance with her, and sing to her. I treat her with the utmost respect that the mother of my children and my best friend deserves.
As a father, I have changed my fair share of diapers over the years. With 50 plus kids through our home, you can imagine that number of dirty diapers is pretty high, and you're right. Thousands! Dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping; these are all chores that I share in with my wife. I am modeling to my children that marriage is a partnership, and that we work together as a married couple.
I often joke that our front door is a revolving one, as neighbor kids and my own children's friends seem to come and go, without invitation. This past Christmas time saw our home to 23 children in our home, on one particular day. I felt it was important to show my children that we care for all kids, regardless of background, shape, size, color or belief.
Piano lessons, basketball practice, the annual Father Daughter Dance, reading books to them, teaching them to swim and ride bikes; these are all opportunities I embrace as a father. Prayer is also an important aspect of fatherhood for me. Praying alongside my children, with them, and for them and their future spouses is on the top of my list each morning, and throughout the day.
There are so many fathers just like me. We take our role of husband and father with great reverence. We are the first example of how to take care of a child, and how to be a healthy and loving parent. We are the first example of how to care for and love our wives for our children to see. Everything we say and do speaks volumes to our children. This is indeed a big responsibility, and should not be taken lightly. Therefore, as a father, it is important that all fathers and dads embrace this role, as it will surely affect the child in your own home. We are raising future fathers and future dads for our sons when they arrive at that stage in their lives. We are setting the example of how to treat our wives for our daughters to see and hold onto for their future. We are the type of father the media is not telling you about.
Now, I need your help in helping other children in need. Please join me. Together we can provide a home for more children. I need your help. They need your help. It is Never Too Late for a happy childhood. It is never too late for a child to start healing and find love. Help me protect more children, and provide a loving place where they can find healing. Learn more here.
Dr. John DeGarmo has been a foster parent for 13 years, now, and he and his wife have had over 45 children come through their home. Dr. DeGarmo is the author of several foster care books, including the brand new book Love and Mayhem: One Big Happy Family's Story of Fostering and Adoption. Dr. DeGarmo is the host of the weekly radio program Foster Talk with Dr. John, He can be contacted at drjohndegarmo@gmail, through his Facebook page, Dr. John DeGarmo, or at his website.