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Dr. John Grohol

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5 Tips to Increase Your Life's Happiness

Posted: 11/16/2011 8:05 am

Happiness is one of those concepts we all seem to love to learn more about, but we are unwilling to take any big steps to increase it in our own lives. Some experts claim happiness can be found in a particular herb or a special diet, but there's little research to back up those claims.

What scientific research into happiness has shown us is that it can be increased in many different ways -- but you won't find the answer from a pill. Before you begin, you have to keep in mind that you control only about half of your happiness level. The other half is set by genetics, the situation and the environment.

1. Take a break from the material world.

While Madonna might worry that she's living in a material world, that's a choice open to all of us. Psychological research suggests that money won't buy you happiness. Once you obtain enough money to pay your bills, afford some shelter and transportation, you're pretty much set. The only two exceptions is if you give money away, or if it significantly improves your social rank. People who give money away appear to sustain greater levels of happiness over time than those who don't.

2. Your relationships go a long way to helping you be happy.

This isn't going to help you much if you're single, but if you're married, your relationship is a key component to your happiness level. Research has shown that strong social connections with others are important to our own happiness -- the more of these you have, the happier you will be. And while marriage is significantly correlated with increased happiness, it has to be a strong, healthy marriage in order for that to be true.

3. Trying to enjoy yourself will result in your least amount of enjoyment.

According to research carried out by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and colleagues, you're least likely to be happy when you're working at trying to be happy. Happiness occurs naturally, usually without much conscious effort. It's a side effect of living a balanced life -- giving time to your home life, your work or school life, and your hobbies and activities you enjoy doing. One of the other interesting findings from this research -- watching TV is one of the most soul-sucking and depressing activities most of us engage in. Goal-focused activities tend to increase our enjoyment levels of life.

4. Being a giving person and having gratitude matter.

Selfless people tend to be happier people. This is partially because of tip No. 1, but also because when you're focused on helping out others, you don't spend as much time evaluating and criticizing your own life or circumstances. Research has also shown that being grateful for everything you have in your life -- whether it be your health, your friends, your family, your significant other, a job, really just about anything -- helps you become a happier person. We can only speculate as to why, but it may be because gratitude reminds us of all the things that are good about our lives (since we too often only focus on what's wrong).

5. Focus on experiences, not stuff.

People who spend their time and money on doing things together -- whether it be taking a vacation to someplace other than home or going on an all-day outing to the local zoo -- report higher levels of happiness than those who buy a bigger house, a more expensive car, or more stuff. That's likely because our memories keep an emotional photograph of the experience, whereas the material things don't make as big an emotional imprint in our brains. So ditch buying so much stuff for yourself or your kids -- you're only buying artificial, temporary happiness.

Other tips to happiness include following your passion, finding your purpose and engaging with people in your life. And remember, a healthy body complements a healthy mind. Even simple exercise can help boost a person's mood, if only for a short while.

What has worked for you to help make your life more fulfilling and happier? Share in the comments below.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Drmhp
07:25 PM on 11/19/2011
Vacations and attitude of gratitude are helpful but the real key to happiness is letting go of fear and replacing it with peace. Fear destroys peace via stress and anxiety and eventually health problems. What are your fears?
10:26 PM on 11/18/2011
I read a book by Dr. Wayne Dwyer called "Your Erroneous Zones" which made a huge impact. He said you cannot expect someone else to be responsible for your life or your happiness. How true.
So when I wake up in the morning, my first thought is "this will be a great day"...and most of the
time it is!
09:33 PM on 11/18/2011
Thank you John. I learned a lot from your article and comments posted here,
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Truth Only
07:47 PM on 11/17/2011
#1. Repent of sin, and receive Christ. Not only will you be filled with joy, but you will receive a future.
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GOODDOC1
"civil war" is an oxymoron
06:02 PM on 11/17/2011
I thought I was happy when I was able to "contribute" a great deal, through my work, my money, my time, etc. Now that I'm ill, my contribution might be as little as a smile to someone in worse shape than I am -- and that makes me very happy. I own much less than I once did, but that's so much more than most people on earth have. I'm happiest with my Furrball. I think the keys to happiness, at least for me, are being at peace with myself, and the unconditional love of my cat.
01:45 PM on 11/17/2011
To quote someone smarter than me: "Happiness is a journey...not a destination."
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01:01 PM on 11/17/2011
Lovely article. Your "Trying to enjoy yourself will result in your least amount of enjoyment" quote is so profound. Reminds me of why I hate New Years Eve parties...everybody working so hard to have a good time.

Perhaps it's quibbling with semantics, but I do find that focusing on, affirming and being actively grateful for joy and happiness creates more of the same. I don't think happiness is a side effect. I think it's being aware of the wonder of every astonishing moment.

Of all the things I have to be grateful for, I am most grateful for this: Life, itself. I joyfully embrace whatever life throws my way, being enormously grateful for the gift of being here for the big show.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
kandid61
They walk among us.
11:09 AM on 11/17/2011
Very good article. I was raised upper middle class and did not realize just how much stress it put on my parents to keep up with the Jones' until after they died. I raised my kids on a farm, we had one TV channel on a clear day, and were very involved with the community. My kids are now married with children of their own. They often try to explain to their spouses that we were poor but didn't realize it because we were having fun. They also try to explain to them that simple homemade items mean more than anything they could possibly buy in a store. They are starting to get it!
09:23 AM on 11/17/2011
want to get away from the material world? Two ides fpr visiting a farm:
-check with your local agricultural extension to see if they know about any "open gate" days that allow the public to come tour the farm. Or do a web search for "open gate farm tour in (list your state and or county)"
-Do a search for sites that list oppertunities for agritourism. this consists of all sorts of things to a simple stay in a farmhouse to enjoy relaxing in the country, to all out working on the farm! NOTHING is better than a hard days work with your own two hands! You will actually be able to fall asleep at night!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ylmaz Kaba
03:25 AM on 11/17/2011
But our journey to increased happiness really began about 2 years ago when our income took a 50% hit and we started appreciati­ng our time and experience­s more than stuff. Although we made significan­tly less money we felt like our quality of life increased because of our new focus. Now we're continuing the journey of living our happiest life in....
http://www.orjinkremmarketi.com/
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jeromettaylor
The Aliens were here 1st!
02:07 AM on 11/17/2011
3. Stop trying to be happy....dammit!
or
My favorite workplace slogan "The beatings will continue until morale improves."
01:18 AM on 11/17/2011
My husband and I recently gave up the vast majority of our belongings and moved to Costa Rica (with a baby on the way). But our journey to increased happiness really began about 2 years ago when our income took a 50% hit and we started appreciating our time and experiences more than stuff. Although we made significantly less money we felt like our quality of life increased because of our new focus. Now we're continuing the journey of living our happiest life in Costa Rica (where the material world hardly exists) on about $1200 a month, enjoying all the new experiences that entails, and meeting many wonderful new people. I write about our experiences and how to live your happiest life at: www.thebuddinglotus.com
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yvonne Serocki
wellness is inspired
10:40 PM on 11/16/2011
How to find happiness? Learn the truth of who you really are! www.newheavenonearth.wordpress.com
07:16 PM on 11/16/2011
Happiness, like any great relationship, takes work. So- work it! Thanks for the great tips!
06:32 PM on 11/16/2011
Man's supreme honor and real happiness lie in self-respect, in high resolves and noble purposes, in integrity and moral quality, in immaculacy of mind.

Some have, rather, imagined that their greatness consists in the accumulation, by whatever means may offer, of worldly goods.