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Riding along the bike path to Ocean Beach one morning, I saw a sign posted in the sand warning beachgoers of dangerous rip tides in the area. The sign read, "Remain Safely on Shore".
Good advice for would-be surfers and swimmers, but it also made me think about how much energy human beings expend avoiding risks and clinging to the shore of what is known or predictable. It's human nature to avoid pain and seek certainty. We are, after all, descendants of those who were smart, clever, and fast enough to avoid being eaten, so survival skills are programmed into our DNA.
While we no longer need to worry about ending up as dinner for dinosaurs, today we live in extraordinary times that demand different skills to meet different kinds of challenges. With global warming and climate change; rising gas prices, home foreclosures and bank failures; increasing unemployment and the prolonged war on terror, we are living in a time when our old assumptions about "the way things are" no longer apply. The planet and its' inhabitants is undergoing tsunami sized change and it's going to be a challenging ride.
How then, do we live in a world where nothing is certain and the pace of change keeps accelerating? Where is the safe shore in a world such as ours?
Consider these seven important keys to keeping your life on track during turbulent times:
1. Give up your need for certainty and embrace the very idea of change as the prevailing context of our time. Clinging to the illusion of certainty is a losing strategy when 98% of what happens is outside your sphere of control. Get comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable and know that the 2% you can control is what matters. You can resist what's in front of you or you can embrace it. Where could be possible for your life if you did?
2. Develop your courage muscles by doing something every day that scares the heck out of you. There's nothing like meeting uncertainty head on by bringing your own sense of adventure to each moment. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
3. When rough seas throw you off course: Stop. Look. Choose. Take action. Stop, meaning get off autopilot and give yourself the opportunity to tune in to what's actually happening. Stop the mind chatter and unproductive behavior. Call a "time out". Then take stock. Don't waste precious time fretting about how unfair life is and wondering why is this happening. Look to see exactly where you are and what are the options for moving forward. There are always more available options than you think, so acknowledge your fear, then look beyond it and see the possibilities for productive action. Choose a possibility to act upon that empowers you. Choose one that opens new doors, invites you into new questions that lead to new discoveries. Then, take action. Do it. And when you've done it, there will be an outcome.
4. Take full responsibility for the outcome. In our culture, responsibility usually implies someone is to blame. We ask, "Who's responsible?" when we really mean, "Who's to blame?" Consider a different possibility for what it means to be responsible: Responsibility = Response + Ability: your ability to respond. Holding ourselves as fully responsible for our choices and their outcomes put us at the helm of our own ship, hands on the wheel, choosing the course our life takes. Accepting 100% responsibility for our lives opens the door to creativity, freedom and personal power. Where would you rather be? Hands at the wheel, guiding your ship or clinging to the side for dear life, hoping someone will come along and rescue you?
5. Get committed and get started. What are you waiting for? Life is short and the clock is running. What in your life matters enough for you to risk looking foolish or worse yet, making a "mistake"? Mistakes are the universe's cosmic "time outs". Mistakes are where the learning happens, so don't be afraid of making them. When your commitment is bigger than your fear, you become unstoppable. There are bigger fish to fry than playing small and staying safe. You were meant to use your life in service to a larger purpose.
6. Discover your life's purpose, develop your vision and then live it with gusto. Staying on course requires that you know where you intend to go. Having a vision for your life and a clear sense of purpose calls you up to be larger than your fear, limiting beliefs or the obstacles that appear on the path. Together, your vision and purpose serve as your North Star. They're something to true up to when you've lost your way. Take time to explore these questions: "Why am I here? What are my unique gifts? What is the impact of my life on the people around me? What lifts me up, fills my sails, and makes my heart sing? Once you've discovered and developed your gifts, give them away. Use them to serve a purpose larger than yourself. What is the kind of world you want to pass on to your children and grandchildren?
7. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Shift your focus from what's wrong to what's right about your life. The universe always gives more of what we focus on. So consider; what are you grateful for? Make a blessings list. Include your friends and family, the places you've been, the lessons you've learned and don't forget to include being grateful for the blessings yet to come. An attitude of gratitude opens the door for more. Let your mantra be "thank you".
Turbulent times invite us to become stronger, wiser, calmer, and clearer. Swim on out into the waters of your life. Summoning your courage and commitment, and using your vision and purpose as your compass, swim to some distant shore you never could see from where you are, and discover yourself anew. Discover the one in you who already is magnificent and whole. Expand the shoreline of your Being, so your definition of "save haven" is you! Your destiny awaits and you really are meant to fulfill it.
Follow Dr. Judith Rich on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dr_judithrich
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Super article. Looking forward to more.
With change being a daily event in most of our lives, I find this article to be a reminder of how to keep focused on the blessings we have in our lives, and to keep an attitude of gratitude. Thank you for your words, your contribution to those of us that need these reminders, and your ability to keep it simple, yet impactful.
Your "Raisin Years" article is great. Allowing the process to evolve, and embracing the signs and signals helps.
This was a very needed posting for me...I realize the key is to be happy no matter what.
Going through an interesting time in my life right now and in combination to what our country and our world is going through it has made it more difficult to find the sunshine sometimes. What you said about "just get moving" is exactly what I need to do.
My entertainment business is doing fine and our Mona Vie business is exploding...so I do truly have a lot to be grateful for.
Thanks for breaking this down for us.
Judith,
Again, thanks for your common sense approach to life! Gratitude, Risk and Responsibility (Grrrrrr!). A wonderful, and always timely, reminder. Thanks!
Loved the "Raisin Years"!
Terrific post. Way to encourage change and acceptance.
How about seven ways to keep your breath fresh in between brushings? That would be a blessing.
Tongue scraping and hydrogen peroxide, I swear!
Thanks for the gratitude reminder - always works to get me out of a change funk and re-ignite hope.
No kidding! Gratitude is really the key. It's impossible to be depressed and grateful at the same time. Let your morning and evening prayers be "Thank you for this day". To express gratitude is to send a blessing into the universe and it comes back.
Thanks for your comment.......
Loved this article....very powerful and useful for everyone today! I will most definitely pass it on!
Love the "Raisin Years"...really spoke to me!!
Thank you for this. I have printed it out for myself and to share. I also read your "Raisin Years" essay and loved it.
Thanks so much! I'll be writing more about "The Raisin Years", so please keep coming back. I appreciate your comment.
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