When you sit down to celebrate Thanksgiving next week and it's time to count your blessings, don't forget to include your very biggest blessing of all. This blessing is often overlooked, but it's time to recognize it for what it is. What is this blessing, you ask?
I'm referring to the person in your life who's gotten you this far, the one who's carried you over the hump when you thought you couldn't do it and wanted to wimp out.
Don't recognize who this is? I'll give you another clue.
I'm talking about the one who's stayed up nights with you when you were under the weather or three sheets to the wind. It's the one who's put up with your smallness all the times you've forgotten who you really are.
No, it's not your mother, although she's right up there on the list. Here's another clue:
I'm referring to the one who's stood by you when you were afraid and told yourself "I can't do this," and reminded you ,"yes you can, yes you are, and yes you will".
Figured it out yet? No, it's not your spouse or significant other, although I'm sure they're at the top of the list as well. Need another clue?
More Clues
I'm talking about the one who may be the only person on the planet who knows whether or not you're telling the truth. This is the same one who will politely and sometimes impatiently nudge you in the direction of honesty when you're tempted to sell out for what seems like the more comfortable path to take.
I mean the one who always remembers your birthdays and anniversaries; the one who knows exactly what you like and don't like, want and don't want. The one who knows just how you like your salad; dressing on the side, or how you like your steak cooked, medium-rare, nice and pink in the center, please.
Ponder how great it is to know there's someone who knows you inside out and upside down and still shows up everyday to greet you in the morning when you wake up.
Even though you take this one for granted, this one's loyalty to you is never shaken. This one's love for you is constant, even when you don't give love back. Consider this one, often overlooked, as you search your soul for what you're grateful for this Thanksgiving and beyond.
This is the one who's animated your life, brought you to the fullness of joy and laughter and the emptiness of sorrow and loss. Without these experiences, both the happy and sad ones, you wouldn't know the full capacity of what it means to be human.
This is the one who is taking you to your future. This is the one who can see limitless possibilities ahead when you can only see a narrow path. This is the one who nudges you in the direction of the road not taken. Ever wonder where your courage came from? Look no further than this one. This is the one who conjures up your courage when you thought you'd plumb run out.
Got It Yet?
I know you have it now. Who else could it be besides You? OK, it is you! But I'm not referring to your personality, or the acquired, conditioned self you've become in order to survive. I'm talking about your higher self, the one who brings you face to face with truth, wisdom, wholeness and holiness. I'm talking about the one who knows. Give thanks for this one.
When was the last time you stood in front of the mirror and acknowledged yourself for being the most amazing human being on the planet? Sounds a little too crazy for you? When was the last time you recognized yourself as the unique, one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-repeated event in the universe? Still can't get with it? Maybe a little more self-love in your cup will give you more to share with others with plenty left over for you.
When was the last time you told yourself , "Thank you for choosing me to be your constant companion. Thank you for getting me through the hard times and for bringing me good times too." And if you really want to stack the deck, try thanking you in advance, for creating the life of your dreams. Nothing will rev up your manifestation skills more powerfully than expressing gratitude in advance for the goodness already on its way.
Go ahead! Pile it on! This you knows no limits. This one lives in the realm of all possibilities and for this one, what you desire is already so and it's just waiting for you to call it forth. So call it forth!
And don't play small. This one came to play big. This one came to live large, yet leave a small footprint. This one came to have its heart broken-open and leave it that way forever so it can hold more love.
This one came to have you see the world and yourself in it, as inextricably linked, part and parcel of the one, the whole. This one knows that who you are is all of it and all of it is you.
Give thanks for this one. Give thanks that your body has gotten the job done and commit yourself to honoring it more fully from now on. Give thanks that your mind, while sometimes seeming on the verge of leaving the building, is still clear and sharp enough to convey what's in your heart. And give thanks that your heart, still beats 60-90 times per minute and that over a lifetime will beat over 2 trillion times.
Give thanks that your spirit connects you with realms of glory and that your soul grounds you here on earth.
Give thanks for y-o-u. It might not sound like the politically correct thing to do. Do it anyway. Start a new trend. Others will follow. Watch and see. All the other "you's" at the table will recognize an opportune moment this Thanksgiving to give voice to their own sweet, precious this ones when it's time to chalk up what they're grateful for. It's not about tooting your own horn or inflating your ego. This is about recognizing the authentic greatness that is at the very core of who you are.
Imagine a world where everyone in it was deeply grateful for who they were. How could that not produce more love? How could that not produce more peace and joy? If everyone is standing in "I am grateful for me", how could we not then see our own greatness reflected back by everyone around us?
Surely we'd see that we're not greater than anyone else. We'd see that everyone has this greatness within. Perhaps standing in your own greatness would serve as a nudge for others to take up residency in theirs.
So this Thanksgiving and beyond, consider the gift you are. And while you're at it, make a commitment to truly honor this gift, to listen to its wisdom, to treat it with kindness, love and respect for the rest of your days.
And when your days here are over, this one will ferry you back from whence you came, a constant companion in eternity.
I'm giving thanks for you and for the connections we've forged over the past two years here at this watering hole on the Huffington Post. And I'm giving thanks in advance, that in the year ahead, you and I will continue to meet here and engage in lively conversations that will inform and inspire us.
Please feel free to leave a comment and share what you're grateful for about yourself. Consider it practice for next Thursday!
If you're not already a Fan, consider becoming one and while you're at it, please feel free to share this post with others by posting this to your Facebook page.
And while you're snooping around the internet, give a visit to my personal blog and website Rx For The Soul or drop me a personal line at judith@judithrich.com.
I'll be away from this post for the next two weeks, so I'm wishing you a joyous Thanksgiving in advance and many blessings on the path.
Follow Dr. Judith Rich on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dr_judithrich
Luvluv right back to you and wishing you a happy Thanksgiving, beautiful woman!
All the best,
Judith
This sentence jumped out at me…
“Maybe a little more self-love in your cup will give you more to share with others with plenty left over for you.”
Recently another huffpost blogger named Judith (Acosta) opened a discussion involving narcissism, which became quite spirited, in part due to my mention that the concept is on a continuum from the so-called “Healthy Narcissist” to the pathological condition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). A few had difficulty or refused to view “self-love” in any but the harshest light; lumping any self-love in the dark bucket of NPD.
Your entire post, and the sentence above in particular, reinforces my belief that loving oneself in the right, “healthy” way serves to motivate actions, validate capabilities, and promote confidence, rather than support a self-centered, self-serving personality. In conjunction with empathy and consideration of others, while filling your “cup” one can, as you say, share with others. The good part is that what you share is better, because you are better: a better person, with better behaviors, a better spirit, and a bigger and better heart to share.
Thanks are certainly due when that defines you. I work toward it everyday; thankful I can.
With appreciation,
Lawson Meadows
Happy Thanksgiving, friend.
Novel... not anymore than "Healthy Narcissist"...
I have always questioned whether suffering in deference to the needs of others was the best example to set for them. Loving yourself should motivate you to be the best for yourself, and as a result, you will be the best for others, and set the best example too.
Of course that is only one layer of the multi-laminate concept of loving yourself enough to do your best. Glad to hear it is working for you!
Hope you have a terrific tryptophan Thursday!
Lawson
First let me say that I'm grateful for you as a wonderful contribution here on my posts, and elsewhere on the HuffPo. Thank you for you!
The self-love vs. narcissism conversation warrants further discussion. Perhaps we'll take it up here in a future post and pick up where you left off with the earlier post my Ms. Acosta. (which I admit I haven't read, but I will look it up). But I'll start with this thought: I can only love others to the extent that I give that love first to myself. If I am giving from an empty cup, it's not love that I'm giving. It's neediness, based in scarcity, looking to get something back. If I don't deem myself worthy to receive love how do I even know what it is, let alone give it to someone else? That's not giving, it's actually taking.
It all comes back to how we view ourselves in relation to the world and everything around us. If we think we're here to be served instead of to serve, then we'll be looking for "what's in it for me". If we think we're here to be in service to the highest good of all, that includes self, doesn't it?
Oh, I can see there's much to be mined down this path!
Have a happy Thanksgiving, friend!
Judith
To paraphrase: "To give from an empty cup is actually a form of taking, being needy because of your own scarcity."
With gratitude, I bow to your wisdom, and look forward to a future post in this regard.... well, actually, I look forward to all of your posts.
Have a fine and friend filled holiday!
Lawson
I just noticed I'm at 399 fans. Who's going to be #400? Hmmmmm, I'm curious to see who it is.
Ditto, too bad we can't fan x2...
LM
I'll tell you what - go on the political pages and post that (1) all politicians are liars and (2) the world's going to hell in a handbasket, and you'll be at 450 in about 15 minutes.
It is not being conceited. When you think that you are in a better position to help others when you are whole - it begins to become clearer. As they say: "Put your oxygen mask on first."
http://www.BouncingBackNow.com
Loved your website and writing. Thanks for including the link. And I'm happy to see you here for the first time. Welcome!
Many blessings,
Judith
Furthermore to the above, greater thanks should still be given to the One, the Supreme Being who gave us the life or consciousness to know what we should be grateful for at opportuned times. All in all it was a good writeup and I hope for more from you.
It's nice to see you here. Consider me your fan. I agree with you, not that it matters, but I do. However, I do see that The One, who is the source of all life, is the One creator of it all, including us. We are made of the same "stuff", so as we acknowledge ourselves, we are also acknowledging the One, the Only, for that One is all there is.
Many blessings to you,
Judith
PS- Please come back and also check out my archive here on the HuffPost for there are lots of other things I've written in the same vein. And pay a visit to Rx For the Soul, my personal blog for more. www.judithrich.com
As I call it, the I-ness, that we all have. Our critic, observer, student. If you really allow it to, this I-ness, can be the best friend you will ever have. It's always there, within, and it's power, it's abilities can work magic, if you really let it. Let it run wild, though and it can be your worst enemy. Learn you, your I-ness, your inner eye if you will. Get acquainted with it. Yes, it can surprise you, with it's inner guidance, abilities and wisdom.
Welcome back! Good to see you here. Yes, the inner "eye-ness" that sees and knows the truth of who we are, is the Wise One. Give it lots of space to be heard. Some people call this God, or the "Big Daddy in the Sky". It matters not to me what we call it. It's all the same energy, and it KNOWS!
Thanks for stopping by. Many blessings to you and have a wonderful Thanksgiving,
Judith
Well, I was reading along there and I was sure you were talking about my inner person, and then I came to the part: "I mean the one who always remembers your birthdays and anniversaries;", and I thought, "Who the heck is that? Neither my inner or even my outer person remembers that stuff." Ah, yes, mental wreckage from the 70s that time hasn't repaired...
I loved your post, and I'm going to remember it this Thanksgiving. And I'm going to be surrounded by people who have souls of light that shine through kaleidoscopes in their outer persons, that make the light look funny and fragmented, and sometimes block it entirely. But your post reminds me that the light is there, and inside it's pure and bright, and that's what counts. And I'll be thankful that you remind me of thoughts worth thinking.
Have a happy and peaceful Thanksgiving...
Not to worry, just consider everyday a birthday, every day an anniversary. After all, every day kind of is, isn't it?
I love how you describe your tribe of "fragmented souls"..... aren't we all! So love them up and love them in and in so doing, you'll find yourself in the process.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'm afraid mine will be anything but peaceful, but it won't be boring, that's for sure!
Blessings,
Judith
"This one came to have its heart broken-open and leave it that way forever so it can hold more love."
I am going through a mini heartbreak right now - what a lovely way to view it! :)
Think of it like this (metaphorically speaking): When the heart breaks, imagine that it breaks OPEN. Instead of mending it, leave it broken open. John Welwood, the great writer and therapist, talks about being a "broken-hearted warrior". I've loved this image and used it to serve myself and others.
Hope it works for you. And many blessings,
Judith
I'm treasuring you!
It reminds me of my morning ritual when I reconnect with my physical body, then I reconfirm with hand over my heart that it is my master, and the final part with hand on the mirror, I say to my reflection in French - can't say it in English but here's a rough translation "You are my divine partner, Thank you for accompanying me on this earth, thank you for doing all the things that I can't do and all the things that I don't know how to do, thank you for allowing me to live right in the middle of my spiritual contract in a perfect way.
And I'll tell you something else, just between you and I, I always wonder at those eyes in the mirror because during those few minutes, it's not the me I know staring back at me. After 2 years of practise I'm still not wise on what that's all about but it makes me feel right so...
Did I say I loved this article?!
Cheers
Catherine
PS. I hope this comment doesn't get lost since 5 previous comments have disappeared so far.
I LOVE your mirror ritual! How fabulous! Thank you SO much for sharing it with us here.
I hear you about those eyes looking back..... I've often wondered who that is, but now I know. It's the One who knows the truth. Treasure it!
Much love and many blessings to you and happy Thanksgiving,
Judith
Antonio Machado
"I am not I. I am this one walking beside me whom I do not see." Juan Ramon Jimenez
Have a One-der-full Thanksgiving!
'I don't think of me as where the I is.'
:-)
Or did YOU just say that? Anyway, I like the ring of it. The spot within myself that you're recommending sounds like a cool place to be. And in a way, in a somewhat abstract way, it's the spot in which we're all the same.
I am thankful for this tight little space and the way I have handled being in it the last 2 years. I know what it has done for me, not, to me. And what a time of year for this to happen. It was you who said, "realms of glory", not me.
This Thanksgiving know that I am thankful for your gift of wisdom and inspiration you have bestowed. Many blessings for a safe holiday. And yes, there will be a least 1 Jack and Coke for you. Cheers.
Welcome! We're SO happy you finally showed up! Jack and Coke has been in search of you for awhile now and you came in the nick of time.
Thank you for demonstrating new possibilities to our friend, Mr. J&C and showing him that life constantly renews itself. I'm grateful that he is breaking through and learning to dance in larger territory.
I'll accept that Jack and Coke and return it with gusto. Blessings!
Judith