"Laura" (not her real name) has the kind of life anyone would envy. She's been happily married to "Larry" (not his real name) for over 30 years. Laura and Larry adore each other. They have a grown son who's independent and happily pursuing his dream career.
In their late 50's, Laura and Larry are extremely successful by almost any measure, and quite probably never have to worry about money again in their lives. Their investments generate a handsome positive cash flow every month, which allows them to live the life of their dreams.
Laura and Larry are generous with their abundance. They support causes and organizations they believe in and feel a sense of responsibility for making a positive difference on the planet. Free to go anywhere and do anything they want at any time, they want for nothing.
Well, almost nothing. For in spite of all the material abundance in her life, Laura lives inside a conversation of scarcity. She can't for the life of her figure out why her life is so abundant yet she feels so undeserving. It isn't that she's not extremely grateful for what she has. She and Larry have worked hard and earned every bit of success they've achieved. Nothing was handed to them.
In return, life has spread its banquet in front of Laura and invited her to the feast. Her plate is overflowing with "cake." But like clockwork, every so often, Laura pushes the "renew" button on her self-doubt and ends up leaving the banquet feeling empty, disconnected and alone. She has her cake alright, but deems herself not worthy enough to eat it.
I asked Laura who she thought was responsible for all her success. Who is the person who was smart and creative enough to put together her life scenario?
"Well I did that", she admits, "but I think I'm just a good actor. That's not the "real" me. I think I have everyone fooled," Laura replied.
"Who do you think is the real you?" I asked.
"The real me is the one who's scared and thinks she's not enough," she responded.
"Really?" I asked. " How do you know she's any more real than the one who generates abundance? Maybe you're the one who's fooled,"I suggested.
""I never thought about it like that," she responded. "I just assume the depressed one is really who I am. I feel so uncomfortable when I'm happy. Feeling good just doesn't seem real."
In the end, it doesn't matter how much "cake" one has. If you live in an inner conversation of scarcity and lack of awareness about and acceptance of who you are, you are not much better off than a homeless person. You might not be sleeping on a cold sidewalk or worrying about your next meal, true. But oddly enough, the inner experience is the same.
In rejecting our own worthiness to just simply be, we become like orphans, cast out in the coldness of life at our own hands. All the magnificent homes and "stuff" doesn't make any difference if you don't deem yourself worthy to come to the banquet.
The soul of scarcity is rooted in the depths of not trusting or believing in one's self. It is a fundamental belief that who you are is not enough. Nothing from the outside can make up for the deficiency of belief in one's self as a worthy human being. Where those beliefs come from can most often be found in one's childhood. The most innocent remark insensitively delivered can sometimes mark a person for life.
John, a beautiful young man in his mid- 30's, stood up in a seminar I led this past weekend and shared that in 6th grade, a girl accused him of being "too much." After that experience, John shut down his voice and has lived under the radar since then, afraid of ever ruffling anyone's feathers again. Today, some 20 years later, John finds his life unsatisfying, even though he has everything he needs to be successful. He's handsome, intelligent, creative, well educated and quietly passionate, but no one knows who he is or feels his presence. He's become a "stealth person."
John and Laura are poster children for playing the scarcity game in the face of overwhelming abundance. It's not that they consciously choose to live their lives this way. But the choice is made at the unconscious level, where fear sets up the limiting beliefs that determine how we think, feel and what kind of actions we take in the world.
As such, they are a perfect demonstration for how it is with human beings. We all have our own version of their stories. Yours or mine might look different at first glance. You might not enjoy the level of material things as Laura, you might not be as shut down as John, but look to see how you push away abundance by insisting on your belief that:
1. There's not enough... (time, money, opportunity, jobs, etc.)
2. You're not enough... (smart enough, educated enough, pretty enough, etc.)
3. There will never be enough... (love, respect, attention) to fill your needs.
The world, indeed, appears to be a scary place right now. Uncertainty abounds. Paul Krugman, the Nobel-prize winning economist and New York Times op-ed columnist, says we're in the Third Great Depression.
Every day, 24/7, we're fed a diet of bad news and it's not getting any better. We read about the unemployment rate going up and the number of jobs going down. We see the value of our homes eroding, our retirement savings and the kids' college funds disappearing. We're running out of oil, ruining the environment, and killing each other in the name of who gets to control access to power and resources.
Scarcity = scare city.
In the scarcity game, we give our power away to the belief that what we fear is real. We allow fear to triumph over all other possibilities and disown the qualities in ourselves that demonstrate otherwise. Laura's belief that her "successful self" is just a good actor dishonors the parts of her that really are successful and have the results to prove it. John dishonors his voice of passion by swallowing it and keeping it all inside.
Are you playing the scarcity game?
Ask yourself the following:
1) Do you believe that there is "not enough to go around?"
2) Do you define yourself based on what you lack, not what you have?
3) Are you motivated by fear, and/or do you motivate others by fear?
4) Do you think that if others gain, you lose; or if you give, you have less?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you are playing the scarcity game. Getting to the source of these limiting, fear-based beliefs and unraveling them creates the freedom to consciously choose from the present rather than the past.
F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real
In the face of a world filled with fear, what does humanity need now, more than anything? What can only you bring to the world that you're not bringing because you're afraid?
What impact is the collective conversation about scarcity having in your life? How are you perpetuating the conversation of fear in your own life?
I'm listening for your answers. I have my own thoughts about it and surely our discussion will continue. But let's hear from you.
Please drop by the comment section below and weigh in. And while you're at it, Become A Fan. It's more fun if we're all in this together. Let's contemplate some powerful alternatives to fear while the world plays the scarcity game. I for one, am not interested in playing, are you?
I'd love for you to come hang out at my personal blog and web site: Rx For The Soul, where we'll engage in more of this and other topics of interest. And if you'd really like to get a handle on your own scarcity game, the next Life Fitness Group Coaching Boot Camp begins on July 27. You can register and learn about it here.
P.S. Laura's email arrived in time for me to include this as an addendum to her story: She wrote to tell me she had a whole new outlook on herself and on life in general. In the space of a few hours, she successfully "fired herself" from the scarcity team, dissolving the old belief that had kept her unworthiness in place over the course of her lifetime and hampered her ability to truly receive the gifts of her abundant life. This is how powerful she is. This is how powerful we all are.
For personal contact I can be reached at judith{at}judithrichdotcom
Follow Dr. Judith Rich on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dr_judithrich
Those who knew him best said he was one of the happiest, most joyful people they ever knew.
I'm not making light of people who are in need - I'm saying that joy isn't proportional to property. In fact, if there's any correlation at all, joy is often inverse to property.
My lifestyle was minimal by choice but plentiful in spirit. I had everything I needed and it was surprisingly little. Instead I filled myself with gifts of beauty: the genuine smiles of the people I met everyday, the sounds of church bells, happy children (who did not miss what they did not have) and daily communion with nature.
I found that the presets of what I thought I needed to be fulfilled were easily shifted. There was a profound release from the burdens of the material world. My cup was always full and I felt my Truest Self emerge. I was at peace, productive, loved- and awake.
I returned to America because of family difficulties. I knew what I was leaving behind and prayed that these lessons were deeply etched into my Being. It did not take long to be immersed back in Fear: everyone else's and then my own. Worries about money, health, growing older, careers, etc. It was endemic, worse than any malady I had to battle in a more primitive land.
My heartfelt appreciation for writing such a meaningful article, Dr. Rich.
Om Shanti.
You have a gift.
Cheers
I love it when the dream is so clear, there is no mistaking the message. Good work!
Anyway, then she turned her viciousness on her 2 visiting grandchildren - oh OMG did I let her have it - I will never tolerate injustice to children or animals, they are the only innocents which need protecting because adults have choices.
That night I dreamt that I was frantically trying to catch my flight for which I had all travelling documents and I didn't feel that I had enough time to get it. I ended up in a room with an swami and asked him how to get there in 10 minutes.
He calmed me down with a wide smile and started massaging my face saying "get the poison our of your face". WHY - because I went to bed angry with my face "set up" as they say here in Trinidad - you know, rigid and unyielding with anger.
Now if that wasn't a clear message, I don't know what was. I LOVE my dream director. So let that be a lesson to y'all - despite consciously observing abundance - my innards were still rushing around in fear and thinking lack.
And as Ed and Deb Shapiro
http://health-actuary.blogspot.com
I find it hard to believe that people's lives are enhanced as much by reading about David Vitter's saga as they are by Dr. Rich's pieces - yet, there's the statistics.
We can choose to pursue joy and wisdom or we can choose to pursue conflict. I frequently forget that, too, but I'm going to try to do better.
Cheers
Many thanks!
I know that scarcity is manmade and I see it all the time. I see abundance everywhere (big change from 2009) and get so pissed off when I hear the contrary but I am also aware that my pissed offness is coming from my focussing on what I lack. And this is the hurdle that I intend to cross or mow down because I know it is a false belief and I have been able to identify almost the moment when it started as a kid. Fascinating stuff but moving right along...
So how do I deal with scarcity, - I use Ed and Deb's fab Pulling Weeds meditation which is fun and very visual. "Normal" meditation at these times suck. I mainly share love with those who are open to it and I focus on others. When I do that I feel differently, see differently, act differently and think differently.
Hahaha and when the lizard mind takes hold again and a trigger is pulled, I fall right back into the shite but par for the course. It is only a struggle when I resist feeling what I think I shouldn't feel. We hu-mans eh. And as soon as crappy conversation starts anywhere within hearing distance, I leave or ask people to move or lower their voices, period!
Loverly post.
Thanks
Catherine
You always put a smile on my face! Just like the big shining one in your photo.....
"As for humans, eh"..... I hear you and sometimes I feel the same. But then I remember that we're all in this together and we're either going to get our s**t together as one family or we'll all suffer extinction.
Most people don't care because they think this won't happen on our watch so we'll never live to see the consequences. But on our watch, things could begin to turn around. Even a tiny bit. That's the "abundance revolution" I'm talking about. It's a revolution in consciousness that has us think and act in alignment with what works for the whole.
People like the readers here are at the forefront of this movement and it happens one breath at a time.
Peace to you dear sister,
Judith
It is truly a marvelous sight to behold and this is what makes me change my mind when I hear crap. It is unfortunate to realise that people are so afraid and therefore prefer to embrace what they believe IS - HA! it's not as if I wasn't one of them for a long time and I still have my moments - instead of what REALLY is.
This place we live in is beautiful and right now at the very moment is eternity and if we all would just get this, that would be like WOW... and we are going to get there kicking and screaming if necessary, we are ALL going to get there.
Because the beauty and marvels and innocence that I see when I concentrate on the children - our flowers - is what keeps me going.
LUVLY talking to ya as usual.
Catherine
One source of unreasonable fear is that we live in an era of unprecedented communication. Just as a meeting is frequently dominated by individual, negative people, our mass communication is dominated by people who seek to frighten and intimidate. Voices of reason, such as Dr. Rich's, get drowned out. As “John” keeps hearing a single voice from 6th grade, so many of us hear only negatives in our world. But life is good. Enjoy it.
It's nice to see you back here! Yours is the kind of voice we need more of in these times. We're in the "Chicken Little" scenario where fear is running rampant and unfortunately, there are those in power who stand to gain from this scenario. The key, as you mentioned, is to focus on what is "enough" and to move away from our historical obsession with greed and excess.
Can humans make this shift? This is what I'm writing about next week. Please stay tuned.
Many thanks for your comment,
Judith
I'm really excited to know you're going to write on humans' ability to make the shift from greed and excess to satisfaction with their lives. I frequently listen to Pink Floyd's "Money" followed by "Us and Them" from Dark Side of the Moon. Besides being beautiful and compelling music, the lyrics touch a deep part of the human psyche. And it's frankly a sad message.
"Forward! They cried from the rear
And the front rank died;
The generals sat, and the lines on the map
Moved from side to side."
That's where greed and excess takes us. If you ask 100 people on the street what caused World War 1 (and keeping in mind that World War 2 was just a resumption of WW1 due to an unsatisfactory armistice), you won't find 5 who really know. The overwhelming majority of people don't know that Britain and France were empires and Germany, Austria and Hungary wanted to join the club, and when it was all said and done, 80 million people had lost their lives; hundreds of millions were plunged into poverty, and the entire industrial strength of a continent was crushed. All because of obsession with greed and excess, that was presented as patriotic and virtuous. We slay that or it slays us.
Jeez, sorry to end on such a bummer..But it's the truth.
Thank you for this article but I wanted to ask: How do you implement an anti scarcity campaign when it seems all around is just that. I personally am seeing a reduction in my work and in my work day, I see so much increased poverty, lack of funds/person power, and people falling through the cracks. In the past months, I find myself going numb though my anxiety level is pushed as I feel that there really isn't enough for all people that I see (professionally and personally). I would so appreciate any insight you may have and I look forward to reading your blog.
Yours is a perfect question to segue us into a discussion about how we can live abundantly in the face of scarcity. This is the topic of my next post! For this is where we are..... all of us..... pretty much together in this same boat. Let's figure out a strategy for how to make the most of this moment in time so we can look back on it and see how important it was that we went through this period.
Please stay tuned and join us for next week's continuation of this topic........
Meanwhile, have an abundant week!
Judith
I just love your handle, for living in the now is the only place where abundance resides. And for that, I just have to be your first fan.
Thanks so much for dropping by,
Judith
And please stay tuned as next week, we're going to take a look at the other side of the coin: How to play the Abundance game in the face of scarcity. This is what you're saying you want/need to do. I hope you'll come on back next week and let us know how its going.
Many blessings,
Judith
How about blogging this everywhere in the world for all of us?! I love this post. I 'bust myself' after reading this in that I do believe in abundance but think I've got a 'subterranean' doubt/scarcity mother lode that I have to seal before it traps some aspect of me in there . . . Like the 'racket' you know about from trainings, I'm hiding a fear about success and I feel that's the main issue for me to crack right now. Thanks for providing the coaching I needed!
Love, as always, gratitude as usual, admiration as due,
James.
Join the club! I think 99% of humanity lives in the same neighborhood as you. Time to start an abundance revolution! We don't need to wait for circumstances to change and the world to "get better". Maybe it works the other way around...... things will change when we change.
We're going to explore this thread in more depth next week..... hope you'll come back and join in the conversation.
Love and blessings to you James and here's to a big dose of abundance as well,
Judith
Tx for the tip Dr J
Catherine
i love this blog. it really asks me to go back and visit some old wounds i havent wanted to. i am not good with grief. i am not good with loss. but trying to post to you, i know where it started, not having my father, we never knew if he was coming home that night. my mother had us sit at the dinner table sometime until 6 to 9, before she let us eat, she wanted him to walk in and be "punished" for leaving his family to wait for him at the dinner table. this is really difficult to post, but maybe it will help someone else, so ill take a deep breath and hit the "post comment" button.
Thank you for having the courage to share your story. We just never know what possibilities can open for ourselves and others when we bare our souls.
First, I'm sorry that you were wounded at the hands of your mother's scarcity, but clearly, based on your reporting, she was coming from fear, masked by anger. Walking in her shoes, perhaps one could understand her sense of loss and betrayal and feeling powerless to change anything. What hurts is knowing that she took it out on her children. That's how powerless she felt and held herself. If she had known a better way, she would have taken it.
Knowing that doesn't change the impact it had on you as a child, but maybe now, as an adult, you could find it in your heart to forgive her for not knowing she was loved, safe and secure. She acted like a child herself and you were caught in the middle. She denied you the one thing she couldn't give to herself- love.
I hope you know today, how very loved and deserving of love you are.
My love to you,
Judith
I told the old bat that my heart was filled with compassion for her because it is really awful and I feel sad for her sometimes. To see someone so crippled with pain - literally - she had a knee replaced 6 weeks ago. Unfortunately she doesn't even know what compassion means.
Dr J, I ain't the Dalai Lama and it is not possible to even like someone like that. I stopped calling her mummy when I was eight and started calling her by her first name! Yes, I always was sharp as a tack but it didn't stop me from being battered and bruised.
The poor thing is now reaping the whirlwind big time with her daughter (not me) and it's fascinating to see karma in action.
Cheerios
Catherine
In the face of a world filled with fear, what does humanity need now, more than anything? Love, a wake up call, meditation - as meditation reveals the interconnectedness of us all. The corporations- the politicians all thing it is an us and them world - h-e-l-l-o - it's not - we need cooperation and caring hearts!
What can only you bring to the world that you're not bringing because you're afraid? I am not afraid - I would like to believe I am fearless - with much humility
Warmhearted love -
Ed
More and more we're awash in messages of scarcity. It becomes so critical to know how to navigate these times without being sucked into the black hole of fear, lack and limitation.
You sent a powerful example by the love you so generously share! Thank you for you!
Blessings,
Judith
Another gem of yours! Yes everyone is pretty much in the same boat these days...with so much going on that you can barely catch your breath...scare city has become scary and that's why your article helps in keeping the perspective. One of my favorite quotes 'This too shall pass."
Blessings to you Judith!
Natasha
The world needs more conscious beings such as yourself to shine the light of love and awareness into the darkness.
Many blessings your way,
Judith