My post last week, Solitude For Extroverts: Medicine For The Weary Soul brings us to looking more deeply at how to become more adept in understanding the needs of the soul and how to tend them.
This post is an update of an earlier one, written last year: 10 Ways to Nurture Soulful Living. The subject is so compelling for me I keep coming back to it; and each time, my soul reveals new material to be digested. My personal blog, Rx For The Soul, is another repository for my writing and explorations in this area, so please come pay a visit there if you feel drawn.
You might be wondering if you even have the luxury to attend to the needs of your soul with the kind of demands life makes of you. But rest assured, tending the soul is not a cyclical job, best reserved for the easy times. For when the soul is left unattended, our lives become dry and dusty, we feel barren and parched. More often than not, in times of great difficulty, at some level, it is the soul seeking to be fed. This is the soul's way of getting our attention when we've fallen asleep. Pay attention to these times.
Pay attention to when you feel "stuck" and nothing seems to flow in your life, Pay attention to when all the lights are red, all the doors and exits are closed and the path ahead becomes obscure. Pay attention to when you feel "lost" or uncertain of where to go next. The soul is sending a signal that it's time for a change, so fasten your seat belt as change and transformation are surely on the way. Ask me how I know ...
Resisting change is a natural human response to uncertainty, but know this: resistance may slow down the process, but it will not deter the soul from fulfilling its purpose. The soul moves through its agenda like water flowing over rocks. Just as the mighty Colorado River carved out the Grand Canyon, so your soul will carve its agenda into your very existence. Resisting its force will just propel it to find a new way around whatever obstacles you present.
Neither can you push the river of your soul's agenda where it's not bound to go. You may think you know better than it does, but think again. Your soul came here to complete itself and you are but a passenger on the voyage. That is not to say you have no say in the matter. You can co-operate by saying "yes" to its calling and follow it, or you can try to swim upstream against its flow and see how well that works.
Anyone who ever achieved greatness -- every great artist, musician, conductor, composer, writer, athlete, actor, chef, preacher, teacher, spiritual guide, healer, physician, world leader, mom, dad, grandmother, anyone who ever inspired you -- did so because they followed the call of their soul. The soul gives its gifts and we can either receive them and "let our light shine" or we can reject them and "hide our light under a bushel."
The soul beckons us to see with new eyes, to alter our point of view. It's inviting us to open to new possibilities, ones that lie beyond our ability to see from where we're currently looking.
The way of the soul is often radical as it has its own agenda that doesn't always line up with the desires of the personality. The way of the ego is perfection, as in zero tolerance for error. Because of its fundamental insecurities, the ego's path is a straight and narrow one, lest anyone deem it lacking, and since there's no room for error, there's little room for learning and gaining wisdom.
The way of the soul is an entirely different story. Because the soul is a "whore" for learning and wisdom, any path will serve its purpose as long as it leads to the unfolding of truth.
Say not, "I have found the truth," but rather, "I have found a truth." Say not, "I have found the path of the soul." Say rather, "I have met the soul walking upon my path." For the soul walks upon all paths. The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed. The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals. -- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
Our soul hungers for what's most essential to our survival. It cares not whether its requirements are convenient for the personalities we inhabit. The soul takes on these earthly bodies in order to gain access to yet another classroom. It hungers for experiences available only to the human part of Being as the human journey provides many new portals to wisdom not available without a body.
So the question arises: What feeds your soul? What sets your soul on fire? What gets you through the tough times and has you come out even stronger? The answers to these questions are the medicine your soul is seeking. A worthy inquiry, indeed! Search your own soul for the answers.
10 prescriptions for living a soul-filled life:
1. The Truth And Nothing But
We "search our soul" when we need to find answers for life's deep questions. The soul is the seat of our own truth and is a demand for it. We must seek the truth and tell it. Skate by the truth as your soul knows it, and sooner or later, you'll be back to re-visit the subject you avoided. The soul settles for nothing less than the truth laid bare. The truth may not always be the easiest path to chose, but it's the simplest, much less complicated than trying to keep track of which story you've spun in order to avoid being found out.
2. Embrace Nature
Live close to the earth and you'll know its soul. When you know the soul of nature, you'll know your own. Spend time in the natural world and allow yourself to connect with all living things and you will find your place in the order of life. You will see yourself as a part of nature, no more and no less than the stars and the trees. The soul rests in the natural world.
Allow this world to breathe you. Feel its rhythm as your own heartbeat, for it is.
3. Dive In To Your Experience
The soul is a junkie for experience. It has no preference for pain or joy -- just a demand that we experience whatever is true in the moment. When grief or sadness are upon you, feel them, experience them. Through these harder emotions, new doors open and great freedom enters. When joy and passion are present, live them out loud. The soul is a glutton for living with gusto!
4. Live On The Edge
"Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish." --Jean De La Fontaine
Live out to the edges of your life. That's where the soul thrives. The soul seeks possibilities that can only be found beyond what is already known, safe and comfortable. It does not understand the meaning of "impossible." What is already known is already known. To the soul, the "juice" lies in the unknown, where all things are possible. The soul calls us to come to the edge, then go beyond. Then go beyond again. And again.
5. Learn To Dance In The Rain
There will be times in your life when the sun doesn't shine. Dance anyway. There will be times when life is painful. Dance with your pain. The soul is naturally drawn to the dark, tight places inside. Its job is to expand those places so the light can shine into and through them. Dance with whatever cards you're dealt, then tell the truth about it. The soul is nothing if not an excellent dancer. Give it the dance floor and step aside!
My friend just lost her 48 yr. old son, Matthew, to a liver disease brought on by chronic alcoholism. This brave woman held her son as he lay dying a premature death brought about by his addiction. Her heart broken, she is now planning his "fun" funeral, complete with bagpipes and a wake held at his favorite bar. She is dancing with her broken heart because her soul demands that this is how she is to send her son off to the great beyond. She is as resolute and grounded as I've ever known her to be, all within 12 hours of her son's death. She is dancing in the rain of her tears and sadness, and in an odd way, it is bringing her a new form of liberation.
6. Declare A "Lily" Day
According to HuffPost blogger, Anne Naylor, " On a Lily Day, there is nothing I should or feel I have to do, unless I really want to. It is a bit like having a holiday at home without the discomforts of travel and facilities that do not meet my expectations. And it is just as refreshing, potentially more enriching and it does not cost anything. It is a Day to be available to and nurture my inner spirit." and I would add "soul." Read Anne's wonderful Lily Day post here. Give yourself permission to have a Lily Day at regular intervals!
7. Daily Doses Of Solitude, Stillness, And Meditation
To meditate is to enter the soul's inner temple. Here, you'll hear the soul's whisper. Meditation is like drinking water after crawling through the desert. It quenches the soul's thirst for silence and stillness. Start slowly, 10 minutes daily. Gradually build up to a minimum of 30 minutes/day. Solitude and stillness are the soul's saving grace. Be sure to read HuffPost bloggers Ed and Deb Shapiro's weekly posts on meditation here every Tuesday and on Oprah.com. Here's their latest post.
8. Keep A Journal
Having kept a journal for over 30 years, looking back, I see that many of the same questions are with me today as 30 years ago, I'm just on a different turn of the wheel. I'm taking a deeper cut, more surrendered to the wisdom unfolding as my life. All of this comes through my writing as I see my soul's process over the long arc of time expressed on the pages of my journal. Your journal is a living document that you were here, you lived a life, you loved, you lost, you learned. Be sure to record your dreams, which are the language of the soul.
9. Love Unconditionally
At the end of the day, what it all comes down to is how much did you love? Were you a lover of life, the world? Did you love with a big, wide, open, generous heart? Did you love without conditions? This is what will matter when you come to the finish line. The soul is here to learn to love it all, even and perhaps especially, those things the ego thinks are unlovable. Love the unlovable parts of yourself and others and your soul will find peace.
10. Honor The Sacred
To the soul, every thing is sacred. Every moment, every experience, every blade of grass, every bug that crawls, baby that cries, tear that's shed, gesture of love, act of kindness ... it's all sacred. To honor the sacred in every moment is to live out the mission of the soul.
"To live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory." --Howard Zinn
What constitutes good soul medicine for you? What feeds your soul? Please drop by the comment section below and share your thoughts. Become A Fan and be notified when a new post is published. And please do come pay a visit at my personal blog and website, Rx For The Soul.
Want to get your life fit? Want to learn more about tending your soul? Take yourself to camp! Check out my new Life Fitness Coaching Boot Camp page and learn more about the next group coaching opportunity that begins on June 29. It's my honor to join you on that journey. Meanwhile,
Love and Blessings on the path,
Judith
Follow Dr. Judith Rich on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dr_judithrich
Tom Ferry: The 4 Addictions That Destroy Your Dreams (They're Not What You Think)
Personal development - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Last year I teased your 'The soul is a whore' statement but this year I just say 'Wow' and thank you. I'm reading and re-reading this and will spend more time with it but every now and then there is a post that seems to be a whole seminar in a few words; this is one of them.
Thanks again, James.
Not withstanding all my blah blah blah, ha ha ha, L.O.V.E. - that all encompassing feeling is what shakes, moves and directs my world. People misconstrue this to mean sexually but that's just one part of it unless you're with your mate where you connect when making love on the soul level, when the Presence in you loves the Presence in him or her.
I love myself, I am love and I love you and most others - can't lie - I'm not that zen or dumb but love makes my world go round particularly when I recognise the pain and emotional disarrary in others.
I am learning to dance in the rain and I've always lived life on the edge; I recognise that now - my soul won't have it any other way.
This new life of mine which has barely begun is, I believe, about to show me from very recent events, what my soul demands so stay tuned.
Luscious post my dear and thank you, thank you, thank you. I got it :)
Catherine
This is a mighty share indeed and it requires a well thought out response, which will be forthcoming. I am on my way out the door, but please check back here this evening (Friday) for I will respond to your request as best as I can.
Meanwhile, God bless you dear woman! To the soul, it's already all right!
Love,
Judith
PART ONE:
Well my dear, let's indeed cut to the chase! You ask: "What can you recommend to get rid of this painful process?" You might not like my response, but on the other hand, you've already been living it so it should come as no surprise.
There is a saying; "The only way out is through". In other words, as I suggest in #3 on the list in this article, "Dive into your experience, the only way out is through". There are no short cuts, no Cliff Notes, no way to avoid the soul's agenda. It WILL have its way with us! The only way to lessen the pain of it is to "go with the flow".
You speak of your "wonderful depression". Yes, a soul descent looks like a depression on the outside and depending on how one deals with it, this descent can be like a trip through the furnace that burns away all the impurities and turns lead into gold, or it can be a "depression", met with resistance, fear, and probably medication to make you feel better.
The process is much shorter now yet so much more intense and when I find myself again, I'm renewed and see the world, and people, and more importantly my Self in sharp detail.
I see the what, where, why and how and no bull please let's cut to the chase.
In the mirror I see someone different from 2009 and from 3 months ago. What can you recommend to get rid of this painful process, we - all of your fans - await your response with bated breath :)
What feeds my soul and sets it on fire? Hmm, I'd say communicating with the Inner Beings of others; I can always tell when it's happening and I get a charge when I see the "wake up" light switch on. I am very very good at that. Writing about us humans and what makes us tick and not tick.
PART 3
So I left my lovely apartment as is, furniture, appliances, valuable rugs, the works and took only 3 suitcases, Macbook, and my airline ticket. That was easy! I'm, figuratively speaking, naked as the day I was born considering that 2 of my bags were lost with all my beautiful clothes, shoes and jewellery. THAT was hard - there are no Burberry's or Gucci's here nor do I have the wherewithal, as yet, to replenish a wardrobe!
So facing this obscure future is frustrating, angering and worrying because I didn't plan anything remotely like this and I can't seem to find my feet. Yeah, yeah I hear you, the soul's needs will have its way. I would say "piss off" but it's not listening this time round.
I've had all of these wide and varied experiences and now it's time to "let the growth show" as one of my dreams told me this week, in exactly those words.
What gets you through the tough times and has you come out even stronger? After powerful resistance, I cave in to the process, muddle through as best I can, I isolate myself, retreat to nature at every opportunity, cry and meditate a lot and let my right brain take over.
PART TWO
My suicidal depression in 2004 forced me to let go. Now I have no masks (so my friends of 15+ years tell me) and I'll tell you something else, being "naked" in the world is pretty damn liberating. Now I'm on another journey which you so aptly describe but sort of careening from pillar to post, which began in 2008 when I spent tons of money on just myself for the first time in my life, squandered 6-figures and Bernie Maddoff finished me off.
All this culminated in my returning to the Caribbean 5 months ago and I'm still wondering what the hell I'm doing here. It never ever felt right and always felt "too small" and I was born here.
I think I'm gonna go for the long comment version - in 2 parts - because I feel my words or its sentiments are meant for certain others as well.
PART ONE
One awareness/"state" that has come to me in learning that is that it is also SO for every other person on the Planet. We are each/all SO LOVED, so SPECIAL, SO PERFECT that we were CHOSEN by our Souls to be lived through here.
For me, part of my Path is to recognize that while this personality is not all of who I am, ALL of Who I Am lives through it. It is for me to Love my "little self" as my Soul does. . . not just tolerating it or dragging it along-- but treasuring it, delighting it it's every aspect. Loving Myself is the Most Important Thing. . . for it gives me all the resources I need to love
I'm looking here for my response to your first comment and it has disappeared! It was here and now it's gone. Mercury retrograde? It happened to me while writing this post also. I'd written the whole thing in the "backstage" area where we submit them, and when I hit "submit", poof! It was gone into the ether! Had to start all over...... an interesting exercise which led me to yet more new material to include. It's endless....
It is clear, dear woman, that you are indeed an angel who has earned your "wisdom wings". The difficult childhood you speak of seems to be a recurring pattern among those who express a deep and profound relationship with their souls.
One way the soul communicates to us is through suffering. It is there in the midst of our pain and if we'll go into the experience instead of run away from it, we'll find the most treasured part of ourselves.
In feeling abandoned as a child, who was there with you through this experience but your beloved soul? To be intimate with one's soul self is indeed a gift and a blessing. When we are attuned to its needs and align with them, life unfolds with a kind of grace that transcends whatever circumstances we encounter.
Thank you angel woman, for sharing more of your experience. This is such an enormous subject, I have a feeling we'll be here for awhile......
Blessings,
Judith
Disenchanted
A reverse spell
floats down on my head
buzzing flakes of white.
My mother's malaise
her unfulfilled life
my unfulfilled life.
My eyes are about to close
a kind of coma
of the soul
I have danced
myself into this corner
while working to crack
what does not work
or works too hard.
Suffering is plentiful.
I breathe it in and out
daily now, so much so
it takes constant residence
in my lungs, throat & nose.
Disfigures my belly,
my face. Erases
memory&recall
of a past self
full of life and enthusiasm,
So much to give.
Infuses its presence
upon and strands
me within its fuzzy
confines-Limitless
& with little mercy.
Turns me into a beggar
a ne'er do well
the worst self I could become
or fulfill-
Once everyone's promise
now everyone's baggage
This is the spell it casts on me.
Poor pitiful suffering
I pray my eyes see through
and pierce your invisibility
rendering you harmless
or useful.
A red-gold larva
glowing in a midnight
blue pool.
I pray for your well being.
I am touched and moved by your writing. It is visceral, written from the depths of a soul descent, which is how the soul does its work in us. Yes, we've all been there, at some point in our lives,feeling as though all avenues for living have been blocked.
Your lines: " Erases memory&recall of a past self full of life and enthusiasm, So much to give.
Infuses its presence upon and strands me within its fuzzy confines-Limitless & with little mercy.
Turns me into a beggar a ne'er do well the worst self I could become or fulfill-
express so poignantly what I meant when I wrote "when all lights appear to be red and all doors and exits are closed", you say it with the poetry of the soul. Perhaps your soul is a poet indeed, crying out to be expressed in this way.
I do hope you are tending to your needs and those of your soul. Please take care and rest.
My love and blessings are with you,
Judith
YOU DANCE IN THE RAIN!
Viktor Frankl M.D., Ph.D. (1905-1997) was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist deported to the Auschwitz concentration camp. His wife and parents were killed in the concentration camps. Yet Viktor was able to emotionally survive and overcome because of his attitude - to find meaning in life despite suffering. Frankl was the founder of logotherapy, and wrote a best-selling book called Man's Search for Meaning.
Frankl said: "We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work (e.g. writing, cooking, building) or doing a deed (e.g. job, sport, charity); (2) by experiencing something (like a sunset) or encountering someone (e.g. love, friendship, family); (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering (loving and living in spite of challenges and suffering)."
http://blog.soul-therapy.com/2010/03/dancing-in-rain.html
Thank you for this contribution,
Judith
Love the list!
Love and blessings to you,
Judith
So much to say on this topic--but only "God" can conduct the process.
I agree the soul's way is not the way of the intellect. However we choose to name it, the soul's way is unique.
Blessings,
Judith
I wish you the very best,
Mary
This might sound overly simplified and I'm sure you already know this, but reminders always help. How we "frame" our experience determines how we experience it. Yes? With that in mind:
Consider that whatever is happening right now in your life such that the rain is falling, is a blessing in disguise. As in, you "get" to learn how to dance with it instead of you "have" to. See the difference?
I don't know the specifics, but see what happens if you choose to hold this experience as a "dance" of the soul, and meet it with your own "dance" steps. Even my friend who lost her son this week, in the depths of her grief and loss, wanted to make her son's funeral "fun", if you can imagine that!
There is some form of liberation awaiting you out of this experience. What in you is seeking to be free such that your soul called this in? How can you move through this "as if" you were already liberated? That is the dance you're being called to dance.
Take two dance steps and call me in the morning. I'm here. judith@judithrich.com.
Love and blessings
Judith
While I do continue to mediatate an hour each morning, it's been much harder to get into and stay in the "flow" which is itself an attachment to what I experienced there.
It's frustrating as hell that I still get frustrated as hell, but each time I do, I try to catch myself, and remind myself some great advice I heard there..."THIS WILL CHANGE"
...it applies to every moment, the good and the bad, reminding me that everything that arises will also pass away.
and I love this bit you wrote... "your soul came here to complete itself" ...it's a truth I have always felt in my bones. The trick is learning how not to get in It's Way.
And so it is!
Sounds like you're right where you need to be. I really appreciate your share here because you demonstrate how we can get caught in our cravings, even craving to be unattached to our craving!
This too, is a "dance". (See my reply to jackandcoke). Do we ever become completely free of attachments? I think the best we can do is be aware of them in the moment, notice the phenomenon, bless it, and allow it to pass on by as it surely will. This is most often easier said than done, and THAT, dear friend, is the dance we must to do. The dance of our relationship with what is, right now, this moment.
I love this dance we get to do with one another right here, right now. I thank you for contributing to this conversation. I'm sure you much more to share here, so do come back.
Love and blessings,
Judith
Enjoy the ride, to the soul, it's all just the adventure.
Blessings back to you,
Judith
Thank you, Judith.
Blessings to all who find their way here......
Dena
I add my blessings to ones you bring and receive in kind. How grand to know we're blessed!
Judith