Your spirit's comfort zone is the infinite and eternal. Anything else is a path to anxiety and fear.
-- Marianne Williamson
This week, we gathered in town squares across the country to celebrate our nation's birthday. We gathered in churches and synagogues, marched in parades and stood on curbs waving flags. We went to county fairs, rode amusement rides, ate cotton candy and devoured corn on the cob. We listened to country bands and bluegrass music. We fired up our BBQs and invited friends over to share the typical 4th of July menu of hot dogs, hamburgers and potato salad, as we watched fireworks displays light up the night sky. This week, in our quintessentially American ways, we celebrated our heritage of freedom and independence.
Yet within each human being, whether American or South African, there is another kind of freedom waiting to be declared. No one can give it to you, but it is yours for the claiming. It costs nothing, but will most likely require you to give up everything you've ever held on to in the name of safety and security.
Personal Liberation Is An Inside Job
The freedom of which I speak is the freedom every human ultimately seeks. No matter how much or how little money or education we have, no matter who or how much we know, or how many titles or possessions we accumulate, our task is the same. We're here to discover and align with our soul's agenda, to live out the life we came to live, as the person we came to be. We're here to grow beyond our narrow definitions of who we think we are and claim our personal liberation.
Sounds simple enough, doesn't it? Yet here is where the human journey gets interesting. Because if you take a look around, you'll notice that in spite of all we've achieved throughout human history, humanity still struggles with the same issues our earliest ancestors faced. Today, our physical survival is threatened, not by meteors crashing into earth causing mass extinction, but by the mass extinction human activity has helped bring about and caused to accelerate. Our earliest ancestors faced fierce predators that threatened their survival. Today, the fiercest predators we confront are those we see in the mirror.
Who must we think ourselves to be?
We continue to inflict pain on ourselves and each other. We shrivel and shrink, complain and whine, project our best and worst qualities outward and think we're seeing the truth. We hold grudges, blame and judge and live in fear of what others think, certain they judge us as we judge them.
We hold ourselves captive to our greatest fears, convinced we are as small, powerless and insignificant as we believe ourselves to be. And yet, even as we are our own jailors, so are we also our own liberators. The key to the door that opens to freedom is concealed in the heart of the one held captive. The journey to find the key, pick it up, open the lock and walk through the door can be measured in centimeters, but can take a lifetime to navigate.
This is the whole game for human beings. Are you up for that journey? For at the end of the day, when our last breath is taken, we will all sit face to face with our soul and have a little "Truth Ring" chat, for it alone knows whether or not we were true to its mission.
So the question arises, who did you come here to be? I'm not talking about a job description or role identification. I'm speaking of the quintessential qualities you came to embody and express, as the unique human being you are. Given that there is no other you, what will be missing in the entire human experience unless you bring it? If humanity is a 7 billion faceted diamond, what is your individual facet about?
You are a part of this diamond, come as we all have come, to illuminate the world with the brilliance of who you are. As the light shines through you, (to the degree that you allow it), your gifts are offered into the glorious cauldron of creation. Are you free to be who you came here to be? Free to offer up, in gratitude, the gifts you came to contribute?
If you were having that little soul chat right now, what would your answer be? Truth ring! (Remember the story I related last time of a friend who found a beautiful ring in a shop in Nepal and the shopkeeper explained that it was a "Truth Ring". If anyone swears that something is the truth by the Truth Ring and it turns out they lied, they're voluntarily taking on bad karma.)
What's between you and your personal liberation? What's between you and freedom to be who you are? All of the below are based on erroneous thinking and are ego strategies for survival. Let's take a look and see some of the more common barriers to freedom and their remedies.
Barrier #1:
The fear of what others think- This one is deadly. Inside of this constraint, we hold ourselves hostage to what we think others think of us, how we look, how we dress, what we say, what we do. We think and fear the worst about ourselves and find evidence outside to support these beliefs.
Take Your Power Back Remedy:
Get a grip! It's all made up! Given that we don't know what others actually think, we unconsciously project our self-judgments and opinions outward and attribute our own thoughts and fears onto others. You can take back your power by owning your projections as your own. The truth is, most people don't think about you as much as you might imagine. Really! Everyone is too busy worrying about what others think of themfor you to be too concerned about what they think of you. It's all an ego game, designed to maintain the illusion that it's (the ego) keeping us safe. A dead end game. Give it up.
Barrier #2:
The need to be right and avoid being wrong. To an insecure ego, being right is equivalent to survival, being wrong is equivalent to death. If one is driven by insecurity, being wrong brings humiliation and shame, two of the lowest vibrating emotions on the totem pole (David Hawkins, Power Vs. Force). But the price for needing to be right has a heavy price tag, for there is no room for error and therefore no room for learning. Also no room for freedom. Who has to be wrong in order for you to feel good about yourself?
Take Your Power Back Remedy:
The right/wrong game is a zero sum game where nobody wins and everyone loses. Here's a different idea: make it your goal to have everyone win, including yourself. Who would you need to be to pull that one off? Within every conflict, there is a solution where all needs are met. To get there, you need to get off your position that it's "your way or the highway" and be willing to get down at ground zero, where new possibilities can be discovered. The Everyone Wins game is a much bigger and more satisfying game to play. Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.
Barrier #3:
The need to be in control. Last week's post evoked a lively discussion about this topic. Please refer to reader Lawson Meadow's and others' comments here.
Take Your Power Back Remedy:
In truth, most of what happens in life is beyond our control. What we do with what happens however, is entirely up to us, thus we shape our own reality by the choices we make in response to life. Life happens and we choose. That's it! Take charge of your responses and let go of the illusion that you can part the Red Sea. That was a fairy tale to begin with. BUT.... Can we shape how events occur with our intention? Now that's a subject for a future post. Stay tuned.
Barrier #4:
The need to be safe. The ego requires certainty and predictability. This is its definition of safety. That which is unknown and unfamiliar threatens the ego's grip on its version of reality. This, of course, is a trap, which eventually becomes a prison. LIfe has no guarantees of safety on any level. By clinging to this notion, we hold ourselves hostage to a false idea of who we are, convinced not of our possibilities, but of our limitations.
Take Back Your Power Remedy:
When you partook of this journey to become human, your soul gave up the need to be safe in order to avail itself of the learning required to fulfill its mission. Above all the soul seeks learning, and by hook or by crook, will bring to our doorstep whatever serves its purpose. Life is an adventure into the unknown. There is no way out except through. Put on your boots and start hiking! The true safety the soul seeks is contained in the Marianne Williamson quote at the top of this post and below:
Your spirit's comfort zone is the infinite and eternal. Anything else is a path to anxiety and fear.
This is only a partial glimpse into the question of liberating ourselves from the tyranny of self-imposed limitations. What barriers do you still struggle with and what remedies do you see?
I welcome your thoughts, insights and commentary in the space below. And while you're at it, come pay a visit to my personal blog and website at Rx For the Soul.
Become a Fan and be notified when new posts appear. For personal contact, I can be reached at judith@judithrich.com.
Thanks for being here. I treasure our connection.
Blessings on the path.
Follow Dr. Judith Rich on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dr_judithrich
http://anyshinything.com/2011/07/08/middle-aged-woman-grows-balls/
If one is living fearlessly, meaning "Oh, what the f*** go for it anyway!" one doesn't have time to worry about aging. Living one's passion is the best way I know to defy the calendar. I'll be 70 next year, and while part of me sort of "freaks out" just at the number, a larger part laughs and urges me onward and upward. The knowledge of my mortality only inspires me to live larger.
Sweet blessings to you Lynne. Holding you in prayers for the best outcome,
Judith
You too, have gone through the fire of transformation, a theme here. I think we should start collecting our stories and put them together in some kind of book. There is so much learning and goodness to be mined from the journey you and others have taken to get where you are.
I'm grateful every time you pay a visit here, for I know that you'll leave behind something of value for those who follow. You have paid the price, which is the willingness to go to the blackest place within you, in order to give birth to that which is true. A brave soul indeed!
Would you be interested in being part of a such a collection of stories and lessons learned? Please contact me personally if you are.
Many blessings
Judith
If success is significance, this article is successful!
Fear of what others think: Dependence on external approval is the cornerstone of advertising. The point is to convince us we will not be the best or accepted without having what they sell, because it lends status, and that we are inferior without it. So we buy it, and the fear is eased, until the next new thing arrives.
Your observation that it is all made up is right on multiple counts: People don’t think about us as much as we think; the illusion of status is only in our imagination; and it’s manipulated by those who gain from the illusion. Besides, if we constantly think the worse, is that not what we tend to get?
The need to be right: Holy cow! I have been talking about this for years. I believe it is virtually the only universal need, far outweighing others like money, power, security, comfort, stability, and even peace and love unfortunately. I am not saying that many people do not want love, security, power, et al., but that not all do. People want to feel they are right in their behaviors, opinions, and choices… particularly when they think other are looking. :)
Your comment about there being no room for error and consequently no opportunity for growth through learning is as stunning as the conclusion that freedom is contingent on the acceptance of the possibility of error.
Your solutions: Perfect!
Lawson
Kids have a ghost and it is up to develop our ping-pong selves to be able to supply opportunities for them to explore and experience it. Society wrongly tells a child he has a ‘good’ boy inside his head which could ‘be nice’ (books by Alice Miller). “The ego is the unconscious pretense that the organism contains a higher system than the cortex,” Psychotherapy East and West, Watts, p. 98. This is the Greek Idealism that evolved the ‘new’ concept of soul-as-ego. The kid is actually being controlled by other people’s words and gestures masquerading as its inner or better self. The kid is also ‘told’ that he cannot challenge that he is being brainwashed in this way. He might rebel by going crazy--many ‘voices’ later in life are what dad shouted when he was drunk and abusive.
The recovery of the inner sensitivity leads to ping pong behavior, being sensitive to every shift in the unseen winds, which often seems like telepathy or flightiness in the artist. ‘Writer’s block’ is the absence of this sensitivity to the ghost in the novel.
'Growth' after age 35 is not about 'doing' but about 'becoming' (becoming sensitive to).
I wanted to thank you for an inspiration: "The Ghost in the Stone" I will revisit this at a later date.
But, for now: I agree with your ideas about what is within being under the influence of that which is outside, while at the same time, changing that which is on the outside too. Parents often attempt to sculpt their kids, to reflect parental, and often inter-generational and cultural standards and expectations. This can frustrate them both: First, the parent in their attempts that are often only partially effective, and in that they are changed during the process, and second, the child is frustrated because of that ping pong game being played between their inner and the outer competitors, both vying for dominance.
As I see it, no one should and most often cannot impose their reality upon that of another… especially in the service of the expectations of the former to be satisfied by performance from the latter. When one is lucky (though luck is rarely found in my vocabulary) their ghost becomes more than a slender tract of hope or an aborning spark of imagination, and passes from the nascent budding of a soul's purpose into the essence of their passion’s promise fulfilled.
To accomplish this, as you say, being sensitive and accepting is the key… especially to ourselves.
“To beg from the stone, the gift of the ghost,
reveals the true self for the self to see.”
Lawson
Liberation - as in the liberation in the consciousness of the Soul.
My sense is that it can be in my greater Soul awareness that I am more fully able to live in this world, while not being of it, and while my head is in the heavens of my truest values, deepest aspirations, genuine authenticity. In this, there is plenty of space for a range of feelings and engagement with the best life that is available to me.
There is a great freedom in letting go of what no longer serves me when it is time to move on.
I am still learning to free myself from the barriers I do not know that I have.... maybe that is a lifelong journey! So I may as well enjoy the ride - as any good Soul does!
With love to you,
Anne
Somehow it all seems so graceful when you put it the way you put it. This state of grace is available to all we know, and in fact, is our natural state. Yet as former Secretary General of the United Nations, Dag Hammerskold said, "How long the road is, and how I've needed every turn in the road in order to learn what the road passes by."
All roads lead to the truth. Thanks for being a wayshower for those who venture along the path.
Many blessings to you,
Judith
love the post and the reminder to 'get a grip!' I can just hear you saying it.
Great time to declare liberation from the lower self and open to the high truth.
Thanks for the reminder!
Welcome back! Long time no see here. But I took a "leave' myself, so it's nice to be back,yes!
It's "grip getting" time for all of us right now. I've never know things to be more challenging, at least at the mundane level. But as CPE reminds, "We are mighty ships, built for these times!"
And so it is!
Love to you,
Judith
Now, this mentality, I realize is very anti-thetical to the typical American who goes about "getting and spending" (Keats).
But, through a great deal of inner work, daily meditation, etc. etc. I become more and more negated and so much more in the present Reality of not feeling separated and thereby anxious and fearful.
Thank you.
Congratulations on your good work! Loss is always a potent teacher. Certainly, through it, we are put through the fire, and if we're willing to do the work, as you clearly have, that fire is transformative. We can burn off the illusions we thought were our source of survival and arrive at the deeper truths. This is not easy work and most people shy away from it because it requires great courage to go through that fire. Also great trust and faith that something greater is being forged from the flames.
Deep bows to you dear one,
Judith
I often think of these things in a framework of a motocross race, and that works here, too. The start of a motocross race is the most personally isolating and focusing thing in the world. You put on the helmet and gloves, and when you pull down the goggles it sort of blocks out the world, and you roll to the gate. When everyone starts their bikes, the noise is so intense it makes your ribs vibrate and it’s total sensory deprivation; and then the gate drops and you go through your race, which is your sole, solitary experience. Nobody experiences your race, nor do you experience anyone else’s.
The times we touch someone else or we’re touched by them are precious precisely because they are rare. Anonymity is the normal human condition.
If we're aware of such anonymity, we'll recognize how little is at stake in what we do. We’re liberated by the freedom to try things because we’re free to fail at them. Failure to accomplish doesn’t imprison us; failure to try imprisons us.
"Failure to accomplish doesn’t imprison us; failure to try imprisons us." Brilliant way to say it sir! I will be... no I already have totally ripped ott that quote for my future fumbling about with words. :)
Lawson
A good line is a good line!
And this statement brings it home: "Failure to accomplish doesn't imprison, failure to try imprisons." When we betray our own courage and buy into fear as real, we'll stay in the gate, waiting for the noise to die down so we can proceed with caution and not be touched by life.
T'is a pity, for we miss the whole reason for being here.
Wishing you and Sharon a happy weekend,
Judith
But maybe that's just a particular manifestation of the larger observation that the ego often keeps us alive. It just doesn't keep us well. And it sure doesn't know what to do to make sure we will be alive and well when bad things happen. It usually doesn't care. Which is why bad things will happen if we act according to ego.
It's probably best to view it as "monkey" - i.e. to sometimes enjoy it but never take it seriously, let alone endow it with authority.
... banana republic?
Let's hope it works. :-)
You're so on the mark. The struggle actually contains the remedy, doesn't it? Within the struggle, within the field of imperfection, within our greatest fears and losses, lie the very answers and solutions we seek. Releasing into the Mystery, letting go into the unknown, with trust and faith that something greater is possible, this is the work, then.
I'm on the very same page as you, as usual! I so love this synchronicity we seem to discover together.
Appreciating you!
Judith
LOL! 5:16 AM more chuckles!.... :p
Thanks!
Lawson