Shift Happens!
Change, it turns out, is not a tidy process. Anyone who's ever been through a divorce or quit their job or perhaps more commonly now, lost their job, knows that endings are often very messy and starting over can be even more difficult.
Or as Marilyn Ferguson, author of The Aquarian Conspiracy put it:
It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.
Feeling a little lost, like Linus these days? No wonder! Look where we are! Talk about being in between trapezes! We can't even see if there's another one coming our way. You know that feeling when your stomach suddenly takes up residency in your throat? I think the term for this sensation is "free fall". We're there.
Imagine you've just jumped out of an airplane with no parachute. All you have is a good sized piece of fabric, a needle and some thread. Your task is to make a parachute on the way down and have it completed and opened before you hit the ground.
Sound a bit daunting? OK, this may be a bit too dramatic of an example, but you get the picture. We're in that gap, the void, the great unknown, the space between trapezes. And it's being in this gap that's so damned challenging to negotiate. Stomach and throat, contact!
The change process, while sounding good on paper or in political speeches, is actually quite confounding. Navigating change is like trying to walk through quicksand without being sucked under. Each step needs to be taken mindfully, yet with a sense of urgency.
The trick is in knowing just where to place your foot and exactly how fast to move, for the sands are always shifting and every step carries with it the possibility of either triumph or tragedy. You could step into the abyss and disappear, or you could come down on solid ground and live to take another step. Just ask Sisyphus.
Or President Obama
Change doesn't come with an instruction manual. When the rubber meets the road, all bets are off. We can work hard, plan and prepare and then Life happens. We either end up where we thought we were going or we end up somewhere else. In case of the latter, we get to "pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off", take responsibility and choose again.
Or as President Obama acknowledged last week "I screwed up." Does anyone remember any other president in modern history owning up to messing up? Please refresh my memory if you do. And the presidential "Mistakes were made" pretense of responsibility (Reagan post Iran Contra and Bush post Katrina ) doesn't count. It's not quite the same as acknowledging: "I screwed up".
Assume Responsibility And Move On
And while you're at it, please make a note that taking personal responsibility for your choices is a very adult thing to do. A very smart skill to cultivate and effective strategy for moving forward. Even if the situation you find yourself in is completely outside your sphere of control, you are in charge of how you respond to it. Don't waste precious time being a victim. You might get lots of sympathy and comfort from your friends, but all you have at the end of the day is a good story, and nothing changes.
I'm not saying victim shift doesn't happen. Sure, shift happens. But that's not what makes one a victim. Victims are those who get caught in the story and give up their power to it.
Taking responsibility when the shift hits the fan, like President Obama did last week, means taking ownership of your results. Notice how all the "buzz" around Obama's vetting scandals disappeared as soon as he took ownership of what happened. Accepting responsibility sucks the wind out of the critical voices, including the ones in your head. Nothing will free you from the past and help you move forward faster than taking responsibility for your life NOW.
By the way, you get to acknowledge all the accomplishments you're proud of along the way as well. The buck really does stop "here" both in good and in hard times.
Mistakes = Learning opportunities
Did I mention the steepness of the learning curve we're traversing? Think of it as being enrolled in a master class on How to dance on a tightrope in high heels going backwards. Can you picture that? Good! Then you know that missteps or "mistakes" are highly probable.
Learning from mistakes made early in the learning curve will better equip you to navigate the steepest terrain later on. The key words here being, "learning from mistakes". It's the most potent teacher we'll ever have.
Or as Michael Jordan said:
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
Necessity is the Mother Lode of Invention
So don't be afraid to fail. If you don't have at least one failure under your belt, it means you've played too small, stayed too comfortable and never dared to color outside the lines. Now's a great time to get your feet wet! We're all out here searching for new ways to navigate this slippery terrain together. Just think of the creative possibilities that will emerge from this era.
Or as author M. Scott Peck said:
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.
We're confronting change on a scale that is beyond anything we've ever learned to comprehend, much less believe in. With unemployment numbers reaching 7.6% last week, the other 92.4% (minus those who are retired or have dropped out of the job market) are walking around waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The key is not to try to hold on to what was, but to learn how to fly with what is. Get used to being uncomfortable. And then re-invent yourself. There will be people who will learn to thrive in the difficult times ahead. Why not you?
Identity Shift
If you've always identified yourself as the work you do or where you live or the size of your bank balance and those things are suddenly ripped away, who are you now? Here's an opportunity to reframe who you are and how you see yourself. This part can be difficult to negotiate if the voices in your head keep telling you you're worthless because you no longer have "Job, House, or Bank Account Charming".
Part of shifting your idea of who you are requires that you give up your need to look good, because when the shift hits the fan, you're not exactly "ready for your close up". Standing there with shift all over your face is akin to having an alien entity take up residence inside your skin. Think Sigourney Weaver as Lt. Ellen Ripley in the Alien film series.
Nothing will ever be quite the same again. You'll see with new eyes and hear with new ears and at first, it's mighty disorienting. I know. Everyone I talk to says the same thing these days. "I feel disoriented". Me too.
And why wouldn't we feel disoriented? This is not just a little, baby shift we're experiencing. It's MASSIVE!. As in global, collective, epochal, transformative. And it's happening everywhere, all at once.
The Boots and Goggles Brigade
I know I already said this, but it bears repeating: Change is messy. If we're going to feel like aliens we might as well look like them. Don a raincoat and wear boots. And don't forget the goggles. Just consider them the newest "must have" fashion accessories. We could start a whole new trend. Now, somebody go out and design a fashion line around this theme. Wait! Maybe I'll do that myself! Anybody want to join me?
Or as Charles Darwin opined:
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.
The Chinese symbol for "crisis" consists of two characters: danger and opportunity. Think of all the new opportunities waiting to be discovered by the dangerous times we're in! Find a need and fill it. If you don't, somebody else will.
The Only Way Out Is Through
Being a human being on planet Earth in 2009 is not for the feint of heart! If the only way out is through then I suggest the way to get through this is to go through it together. Really! Together! It's an amazing concept this "together" thing.
Many years ago when I first began teaching, I spent two years teaching kindergarten. Boy, Robert Fulghum was right! Everything we ever needed to know, we learned something about it back in kindergarten.
Take the age-old practice of holding hands to keep from getting lost, for example. Whenever I took the class on field trips, even if it was just a walk around the block, every child had a buddy and buddies were instructed to hold hands and stay together. It worked. A classroom of 36 five year olds and no one ever got lost. That strategy just might work now.
Looking For The Yellow Brick Road
Today, we're somewhere between Kansas and the Emerald City and we're looking for the Yellow Brick Road. Here in the Land of Odd, where nothing is certain and everything is possible, find a buddy, or two or three. The more the merrier. Remember, even Dorothy found some buddies to hang out with on the YBR and they ended up empowering each other to find what they thought they'd lost. You can too. Oh, yes you can!
So take hold of hands and stick together. Check in with your buddies on a regular basis and see how they're doing. Find out what they need and how you might support each other. Maybe you and your buddies can partner up with some other buddy pairs or trios. Who knows? You might even find some new buddies right here on this page. And you might just start something wonderful!
PS: Don't forget the boots and goggles, I think they're going to come in handy. I'll be watching for you out there and looking forward to hearing how it's going right here.
Please consider sharing what learning opportunities are opening for you out of the current economic crisis. Has the Shift hit the fan yet in your life? What's most challenging for you now? What kind of support would most serve you at this time? Need a buddy? Let us know.
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For personal contact I can be reached at judith@theraisinyears.com.
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I do trust that Obama is committed to getting us out of this mess. I realize it will take time to get back onto solid ground. I completely agree that this is the time to take responsibility because being a victim will only ensure that we stay stuck. It's a choice, one that we always have in life. Now more than ever it is essential that we choose to take responsibility wherever we can.
Thanks, Judith, for your perspective on life and the world.
Nice to see you here again!
What you share is so true. This not knowing where it's all going part is difficult. But what I'm seeing is that it's also teaching us to be present, right here, right now. That's the only thing we have or know. Just now. Just here. Just this breath. Stay with that. Otherwise, we get in to trouble if we try to get too far out in front of ourselves. At least, I do.
Be responsible for this breath and the next one will come.
Sending you many blessings as we travel this path together,
Judith
Thanks for this post. What I love about it is that it illustrates so well how the moment before change happens can be so scary for us, and how we can move past that fear into action.
I’ve written about change from a spiritual perspective on my website, http://www.drjenniferhoward.com/Articles.asp I’d love to hear your thoughts.
All the best,
Dr. Jennifer Howard
Creating Changes That Last
Thanks so much for stopping by. I went to your web site. Very nice! Good information. Thanks for sharing it here with these readers.
There are many ways to look at change, but I think if one is to grow from it, we must ultimately view it a spiritual process. It takes place at both the individual and collective levels. As a planet, we're in a huge collective transformation process and no one is exempt. The ramifications of that are what we're witnessing here at ground zero, with the fall-out occurring in our individual lives.
And yes, that moment "between trapezes" is a very poignant one. First comes the unraveling, which we're still experiencing. Every day, some new piece of information emerges that indicates the old paradigm is still coming apart. Everything we thought was so, was true, was solid, turns out to be liquid, vaporous. Where is solid ground?
So it's challenging to hold steady in times like these when everything around us is coming apart. That's why we need each other. We need to reach out for the human resources that are already in place in our lives and use each other as pillars of support.
Can we hold this tension of not knowing the outcome and open up anyway? Let me know what YOU think.
All the best to you,
Judith
* CARA * & * JUDITH *
You great big heart, you!
Thanks, timezone. It's always nice to hear what actually "lands" out there.
All the best to you,
Judith
And.... we need to stay awake and hold our government accountable. We cannot fall asleep and hope for the best. I agree, I think Obama is worthy of our trust. I pray that he stays true to his ideals and doesn't get dragged into the sewer of Washington politics. He came to change things. And he needs our help to do it.
Thanks as always, for your contribution here. All the best,
Judith
Change has always been an interesting subject to me as it is one of the most unsettling to deal with for most people. For me moving from the US to England and then back to the US was not easy and took patience.
The uncertainty of change is a big one but the only thing we can be sure of is change.
Treasure yourself,
Ed
How many of us (me included) still get bills sent by mail? Why don't we all demand that our bills are sent and paid electronically? It would reduce the paper being generated and save these companies money (assuming of course that they are not electronically challenged) both paper and postage.
Downside to the US Postal Service - but there is no such thing as a free lunch - so long as we know the downside, couldn't "we" plan for that?
Downside - what if we lost connectivity?
These individual choices could help the environment and we could all play a part in "change".
Just a developing thought!
With the US Postal service cutting back on Sat. deliveries soon, we can expect more of the same in the near future, I think. I'm with you. I switched to electronic bill pay years ago. You can usually do it through your bank and it's free in most cases. Can't imagine why anyone would want to fiddle with postage stamps anymore.
Technology is advancing so quickly, everyone will be paying their bills on their cell phones with a single click. Through all the chaos, we will see the emergence of many new innovations to make the system work more efficiently.
Look at it this way.... what's the alternative?
Thanks for stopping by,
Judith
I am retired now, but I was laid off several times during my working career. It was always extremely emotionally painful to be laid off. Anxiety, depression, worry - they are all part of being out of a job. However, I never blamed myself, as it was obvious to me that it was not my fault, and I believe that it is not productive to be preoccupied with thoughts and feelings that do not reflect reality. Looking for a new job helped to take my mind off of worrying about not having a job, and helped me to think about how I could make myself more hireable.
As the author says, we will learn things during times of change. What is that old saying? That which does not kill us, might make us stronger?
Hopefully people are not starting to have voices in their heads as it could well indicate a very serious illness not unrelated to "A beautiful Mind". Extremely stress related life crisises can though cause such traumatic life experiences and if and when such occures it is vital to have only one friend and not 100 fine weather friends for that one friend could be the life saver in such a crisis. The voices, http://www.bcss.org
View of your Article:
I certainly agree with your fine article in the respect that growth and human developement occures in its' most dramatic forms when changes are in the wind and not in the status quo. Status quo is nothing more than more of the same obesity and trimming excess waste is healthy for all organisms including the social organism of countries.
For waste in all its' forms is counter to nature and over the long term does not survive.
Both of the last two economic panics can be said to have happened due to a lack of banking regulations. Some individuals were allowed to gamble in the economic markets with borrowed money. Eventually, the amount of borrowed, gambled money, or leveraged money, exceeded anything else in the market place by an overwhelming amount. Combined with dishonesty in the agencies that had originally been created to evaluate the worth of traded instruments, and we had another economic collapse.
Many things were done after the market panic of 1929 to rebuild the economy, and then to prevent another collapse. Unfortuneately for the global economy, the framers of the term "trickle down economics" also believed that the lessons of 1929 no longer apply, and that once again the markets should be allowed to regulate themselves - in other words, to operate without any regulation.
What I find particularly galling is that, as they did in the 1930s, those most responsible for causing the economic collapse are once again putting up the biggest obstacles to both fixing the economy, and to preventing another collapse.
Here's the thing..... here "we" all are, the "schmucks in the soup" so to speak. So much of what occurs in life is totally out of our control.
I know, it's extremely frustrating to see how the system always seems to work to benefit the "big guys" while the "little guys" always seems to lose.
So here's my question for you, mamacat, where in your life are you winning and where are you losing? And what do you need to bring to the table in those areas where you feel like you're losing, just to take care of yourself?
Maybe you can't change the external circumstances. There's so much about "out there" we can't change. If that's the case, what do you need to take care of in yourself now, so that you feel your soul is being fed even as life may be stripping you of the external trappings.
Join the club! Wishing you all the best on the path,
Judith
Now come on..... we all have a virtual choir of voices singing in our heads. Our entire lineage lives in each of us, we carry their wounds and their blessings. We're being taught in every moment, guided as it were, by our past, our parents, our teachers, the culture, etc. It all lives in us and informs how we see life and how we navigate our way through. it.
A really good skill to develop is to be able to discern which voices are speaking your truth and which ones are coming from fear. Which ones to listen to and which ones to thank them for sharing and let them move on.
We're not talking psychosis here. Just the normal meanderings of the human heart and soul and mind, playing out in very ordinary every day ways, during hard times and good times. We all have doubts and fears. We all are our own best cheerleaders.
This is the stuff I'm talking about........ if we can embrace it, we can learn from it. Really!
All the best on your journey,
Judith
Your post is just wonderful - thank you!
Oh yes, I have known transitions and losses. They have been as you describe. Your suggestions for dealing with shift when it happens are just excellent. At the end of the day,, whatever losses we are suffering, we still have ourselves, our breath and all the innate resources which perhaps we have yet to fully discover, realize and fulfill.
In a sense, I see us as Star People - and now we have the opportunity to shine our light brightly, to find our ways forward as paths unfold for us, one day at a time. It is a new way of living, and at the same time, very doable. We make ourselves available for the blessings to shower over us - that has been my experience.
Yes, it is new. And I feel that this way of approaching life has great rewards and benefits to it.
I appreciate very much how you have your finger on the pulse at these difficult times. Are we not fortunate that we have this arena for offering and receiving support and consolation?
With love and blessings,
Anne
Indeed, are we not blessed?
I love your analogy of being Star-People..... that's a great way to frame it! Our job is just to receive the light and shine it forth, like you say, one day at a time. That's it. Just pay attention to now and the rest will take care of itself.
Show up for now, like the young man in Obama's press conference yesterday. When Barack said he's take one more question, there was a whole room of people with their hands in the air, wanting to be called upon. But one guy caught the president's attention and was chosen.
Why him rather than anyone else? Because he showed up and was unstoppable. In the end, I think we're invited to come to the party of life. It all depends on whether or not we show up for the invitation and select ourselves to come to the party.
Shine on, Miss Star Person Anne. You are a great example!
So many thanks for your abiding presence here,
Judith
Thank you! And, if I may, I'd just like to point out that your daughter is not alone in this dance. We're all there!
We've never been here before, ever! So let's be sure to stay connected. There's strength in numbers, I hear!
My best to you AND your daughter,
Judith
You do pave the way beautifully. Thank you for that great big heart of yours.
And thank YOU, dear one, for showing up and meeting us here. It's just so grand to feel the presence of kindred spirits along the path. it's such an honor to hold the light and clear the brush so others can find their way.
May all good things come your way,
Judith