Shift Happens!
Change, it turns out, is not a tidy process. Anyone who's ever been through a divorce or quit their job or perhaps more commonly now, lost their job, knows that endings are often very messy and starting over can be even more difficult.
Or as Marilyn Ferguson, author of The Aquarian Conspiracy put it:
It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.
Feeling a little lost, like Linus these days? No wonder! Look where we are! Talk about being in between trapezes! We can't even see if there's another one coming our way. You know that feeling when your stomach suddenly takes up residency in your throat? I think the term for this sensation is "free fall". We're there.
Imagine you've just jumped out of an airplane with no parachute. All you have is a good sized piece of fabric, a needle and some thread. Your task is to make a parachute on the way down and have it completed and opened before you hit the ground.
Sound a bit daunting? OK, this may be a bit too dramatic of an example, but you get the picture. We're in that gap, the void, the great unknown, the space between trapezes. And it's being in this gap that's so damned challenging to negotiate. Stomach and throat, contact!
The change process, while sounding good on paper or in political speeches, is actually quite confounding. Navigating change is like trying to walk through quicksand without being sucked under. Each step needs to be taken mindfully, yet with a sense of urgency.
The trick is in knowing just where to place your foot and exactly how fast to move, for the sands are always shifting and every step carries with it the possibility of either triumph or tragedy. You could step into the abyss and disappear, or you could come down on solid ground and live to take another step. Just ask Sisyphus.
Or President Obama
Change doesn't come with an instruction manual. When the rubber meets the road, all bets are off. We can work hard, plan and prepare and then Life happens. We either end up where we thought we were going or we end up somewhere else. In case of the latter, we get to "pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off", take responsibility and choose again.
Or as President Obama acknowledged last week "I screwed up." Does anyone remember any other president in modern history owning up to messing up? Please refresh my memory if you do. And the presidential "Mistakes were made" pretense of responsibility (Reagan post Iran Contra and Bush post Katrina ) doesn't count. It's not quite the same as acknowledging: "I screwed up".
Assume Responsibility And Move On
And while you're at it, please make a note that taking personal responsibility for your choices is a very adult thing to do. A very smart skill to cultivate and effective strategy for moving forward. Even if the situation you find yourself in is completely outside your sphere of control, you are in charge of how you respond to it. Don't waste precious time being a victim. You might get lots of sympathy and comfort from your friends, but all you have at the end of the day is a good story, and nothing changes.
I'm not saying victim shift doesn't happen. Sure, shift happens. But that's not what makes one a victim. Victims are those who get caught in the story and give up their power to it.
Taking responsibility when the shift hits the fan, like President Obama did last week, means taking ownership of your results. Notice how all the "buzz" around Obama's vetting scandals disappeared as soon as he took ownership of what happened. Accepting responsibility sucks the wind out of the critical voices, including the ones in your head. Nothing will free you from the past and help you move forward faster than taking responsibility for your life NOW.
By the way, you get to acknowledge all the accomplishments you're proud of along the way as well. The buck really does stop "here" both in good and in hard times.
Mistakes = Learning opportunities
Did I mention the steepness of the learning curve we're traversing? Think of it as being enrolled in a master class on How to dance on a tightrope in high heels going backwards. Can you picture that? Good! Then you know that missteps or "mistakes" are highly probable.
Learning from mistakes made early in the learning curve will better equip you to navigate the steepest terrain later on. The key words here being, "learning from mistakes". It's the most potent teacher we'll ever have.
Or as Michael Jordan said:
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
Necessity is the Mother Lode of Invention
So don't be afraid to fail. If you don't have at least one failure under your belt, it means you've played too small, stayed too comfortable and never dared to color outside the lines. Now's a great time to get your feet wet! We're all out here searching for new ways to navigate this slippery terrain together. Just think of the creative possibilities that will emerge from this era.
Or as author M. Scott Peck said:
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.
We're confronting change on a scale that is beyond anything we've ever learned to comprehend, much less believe in. With unemployment numbers reaching 7.6% last week, the other 92.4% (minus those who are retired or have dropped out of the job market) are walking around waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The key is not to try to hold on to what was, but to learn how to fly with what is. Get used to being uncomfortable. And then re-invent yourself. There will be people who will learn to thrive in the difficult times ahead. Why not you?
Identity Shift
If you've always identified yourself as the work you do or where you live or the size of your bank balance and those things are suddenly ripped away, who are you now? Here's an opportunity to reframe who you are and how you see yourself. This part can be difficult to negotiate if the voices in your head keep telling you you're worthless because you no longer have "Job, House, or Bank Account Charming".
Part of shifting your idea of who you are requires that you give up your need to look good, because when the shift hits the fan, you're not exactly "ready for your close up". Standing there with shift all over your face is akin to having an alien entity take up residence inside your skin. Think Sigourney Weaver as Lt. Ellen Ripley in the Alien film series.
Nothing will ever be quite the same again. You'll see with new eyes and hear with new ears and at first, it's mighty disorienting. I know. Everyone I talk to says the same thing these days. "I feel disoriented". Me too.
And why wouldn't we feel disoriented? This is not just a little, baby shift we're experiencing. It's MASSIVE!. As in global, collective, epochal, transformative. And it's happening everywhere, all at once.
The Boots and Goggles Brigade
I know I already said this, but it bears repeating: Change is messy. If we're going to feel like aliens we might as well look like them. Don a raincoat and wear boots. And don't forget the goggles. Just consider them the newest "must have" fashion accessories. We could start a whole new trend. Now, somebody go out and design a fashion line around this theme. Wait! Maybe I'll do that myself! Anybody want to join me?
Or as Charles Darwin opined:
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.
The Chinese symbol for "crisis" consists of two characters: danger and opportunity. Think of all the new opportunities waiting to be discovered by the dangerous times we're in! Find a need and fill it. If you don't, somebody else will.
The Only Way Out Is Through
Being a human being on planet Earth in 2009 is not for the feint of heart! If the only way out is through then I suggest the way to get through this is to go through it together. Really! Together! It's an amazing concept this "together" thing.
Many years ago when I first began teaching, I spent two years teaching kindergarten. Boy, Robert Fulghum was right! Everything we ever needed to know, we learned something about it back in kindergarten.
Take the age-old practice of holding hands to keep from getting lost, for example. Whenever I took the class on field trips, even if it was just a walk around the block, every child had a buddy and buddies were instructed to hold hands and stay together. It worked. A classroom of 36 five year olds and no one ever got lost. That strategy just might work now.
Looking For The Yellow Brick Road
Today, we're somewhere between Kansas and the Emerald City and we're looking for the Yellow Brick Road. Here in the Land of Odd, where nothing is certain and everything is possible, find a buddy, or two or three. The more the merrier. Remember, even Dorothy found some buddies to hang out with on the YBR and they ended up empowering each other to find what they thought they'd lost. You can too. Oh, yes you can!
So take hold of hands and stick together. Check in with your buddies on a regular basis and see how they're doing. Find out what they need and how you might support each other. Maybe you and your buddies can partner up with some other buddy pairs or trios. Who knows? You might even find some new buddies right here on this page. And you might just start something wonderful!
PS: Don't forget the boots and goggles, I think they're going to come in handy. I'll be watching for you out there and looking forward to hearing how it's going right here.
Please consider sharing what learning opportunities are opening for you out of the current economic crisis. Has the Shift hit the fan yet in your life? What's most challenging for you now? What kind of support would most serve you at this time? Need a buddy? Let us know.
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For personal contact I can be reached at judith@theraisinyears.com.