Why Women Are The Real Architects Of Peace
"If we'd had women around the table, there would have been no war; women think long and hard before they send their children out to kill other people's children."
Haris Silajdzic, former Prime Minister of Bosnia
The last two weeks I've been writing about peace, what with President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize and all. In case you missed them, you'll find those articles here and here.
While much criticism has been leveled at the Nobel committee's selection of our president as the recipient of this award, I think the committee's award choice was intended to serve a larger purpose than just the acknowledgment of a single human's efforts. I think it was more about using Obama's moment in the historical spotlight to harness his charisma as a leader to engage the world in a new conversation about how to achieve peace in our lifetime.
Here at home in the U.S., Obama has a golden opportunity to take a huge step in that direction by issuing an executive order establishing a Department of Peace with a cabinet level Secretary of Peace as its head.
Want to really make strides and advance another cause at the same time? Appoint a female as our peacemaker-in-chief! Doesn't that sound like a job cut out for Oprah? OK, probably not, but it surely is a job cut out for a woman.
Tuning in to the live webcast of Maria Shriver's Women's Conference this morning, I'm reminded again of the power that is unleashed when women put their heads together. Women are not only the "Architects of Change", the motto of the conference, they're also the real architects of peace. They may not grab the headlines or strut across aircraft carriers boasting "Mission Accomplished", but all across the world, women are the ones who very often do the heavy lifting when it comes to building peace.
Consider the following: Six of the top 10 most peaceful countries in the world according to the Global Peace Index (GPI); New Zealand, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Sweden and Finland, are also ranked in the top 7 in closing the gender gap between men and women. The world's most peaceful countries are those where women are closer in equality to men. You can find detailed information about this report here.
Or as the Dalai Lama said in a video clip aired this morning at the conference, "Men should turn over responsibility and let women lead." He noted that women are more "warm hearted" than men and are instrumental in educating a society to be more compassionate. Hmmm, I wonder, what are the chances the next Dalai Lama will be a female?
How does the U.S. fare on these rankings of peace and equality? What would you expect from a country that has only 13.5% female representation in congress? We're #83 of 144 countries on the Global Peace Index and #27 of 58 on the Global Gender Gap Index. By contrast, Sweden, ranked in the top 5 on both indices, has 41.7% female elected representatives in its parliament! New Zealand, Denmark and Norway all have in the high 30 percentile female representatives. Virginia, we've come a long way, but there's much, much farther to go!
So why do I say women are the real architects of peace? Here are some things to consider:
1) Women are accustomed to cleaning up the messes made by men
Ask any wife or mother. While this might not make for perfect domestic harmony, this quality serves women well as peace builders on a larger scale.
"After the genocide, women rolled up their sleeves and began making society work again."
- Paul Kagame, President of Rwanda
As the minister of gender and social affairs in Rwanda, Aloisea Inyumba created programs to bury the dead, find homes for more than 300,000 orphaned children, and resettle refugees after the genocide of 1994.
In Rwanda and other war-torn countries, women often out number men after the conflict has ended. They're the ones who most often are left to implement the peace agreements negotiated by men. As community leaders with formal and informal authority, women must be an important part of the peace-making process, yet often are excluded from these positions of authority.
Women seem to know what needs to be done and they just do it, in some instances with or without the authority. This is what women do.
2) Women build bridges instead of walls
"For generations, women have served as peace educators, both in their families and in their societies. They have proved instrumental in building bridges rather than walls."
- Kofi Annan, Secretary-General of the United Nations
Social science research shows that women are more collaborative than men, thus more inclined towards consensus and compromise. They're better at establishing connections across a vast array of differences.
In several instances during the peace talks that led to the Good Friday Agreement in Northern Ireland, male negotiators walked out of sessions, leaving a small number of women, like Monica McWilliams and other members of the Northern Ireland Women's Coalition, at the table. These women stayed, did not give up, and focused on mutual concerns and shared vision, enabling the dialogue to continue and trust to be rebuilt.
These women didn't have their egos involved. They were focused on the outcome and willing to tend the tribal fires until the result was achieved. This is what women have done for eons.
3) For women, peace takes priority over settling old scores.
"The official political echelons seem to get bogged down in the old historical issues. The women in the community feel that their housing, education, and childcare are the important things."
Helen Jackson, Labor Member of Parliament for Sheffield, United Kingdom.
Women don't seek revenge. Taking care of people's needs are more important than being right about what happened in the past. Men might argue with this on the domestic front, but when it comes to the big stuff like life and death, women's priorities are where it truly matters .
4) Women can listen across differences and find common ground.
Somaly Mam was a powerful speaker at the conference this morning. A sex slave in Cambodia from the age of 12, she managed to escape and found her way to a safe house. Today she is instrumental in freeing young girls from the sex trade industry that is so prevalent in southeast Asian countries. Somaly is helping these young girls go to school and teaching them to aim for careers as lawyers, doctors, and teachers in hopes that they can inspire others to break free of bondage.
As Somaly spoke, the camera panned the audience. There was not a dry eye in the house, including mine. Even though the women in attendance came from much more advantaged backgrounds compared to Somaly's, they were connected at the heart. This is what women do naturally.
5) Women have their fingers on the pulse of a community
Women often live and work close to the sources of conflict and sometimes are the only ones left in the area to gather evidence of atrocities. In Kosovo, pediatrician Vjosa Dobruna collected evidence from victims at sites of massacres and was targeted by Serb special police as a result. She later became one of only three women appointed to the UN's Joint Interim Administrative Structure of Kosovo, as the minister responsible for democracy building and civil society.
Women are strong community activists, supporters of the peace marches, show up at rallies, stuff envelopes, keep their eyes and ears open and are attuned at the grass roots level. They often know of new developments in the works long before others as a result of their natural talents for networking.
6) Women are viewed as less threatening, often gaining access where men cannot go
During the violence of the first Intifada in the Middle East, Israeli and Palestinian women like Naomi Chazan and Sumaya Farhat-Naser created Jerusalem Link, an umbrella group of women's centers on both sides of the conflict, to convey to the public a joint vision for peace. In a time when both communities forbade cross-community meetings, Jerusalem Link activities were permitted because "it's just a group of women talking."
This is what men often miss. They don't get the power of women "just talking". This is what women do. Beware a group of women "just talking"! Know that whenever women gather and "just talk", something is brewing. Women talk for peace.
"If the voices of women and their ideas were part of the peace process and a national and international security plan, I'm sure we'd live in a secure world. Women can make a difference. One woman can make a difference. That's the message I want to give to the whole world."
Wazhma Frogh, age 27, Gender and Development Specialist, Afghanistan
In researching this work, I ran across a trailer of the movie, Soldiers of Peace, a video produced by the U.N.'s Vision Of Humanity project. This is an uplifting 4 minutes and reminds us that there is hope. Even in the darkest hours like now, people like the ones you're about to see are at work in the world waging peace. In the words of one of them, "Peace is breaking out". Please take a moment to watch, it'll make your day:
"Why are we so stupid for so long?", asks Archbishop Desmond Tutu at the end of this video. Good question! President Obama, Steward of Peace, are you listening? The women of the world are ready to help you "earn" that Nobel prize.
Let's not be stupid any longer. We need a Department of Peace with a woman as our first Peacemaker in Chief. Nominations are now open. Who would you nominate as our first Secretary of Peace? Madeline Albright? Maria Shriver? Oprah Winfrey? Hillary Clinton?
Please feel free to stop by the comment section below and share your thoughts or drop by my personal blog and website, Rx For The Soul, where I've cross-posted this article. You can leave personal messages for me there and subscribe to my newsletter.
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Blessings on the path.
Follow Dr. Judith Rich on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dr_judithrich
Peace - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
All Nobel Peace Prize Laureates
Ghana: Cardinal to Head Justice and Peace Council
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Judith,
Wonderful posts: focus on peace -- get peace!
My reaction to this is that going 'man v. woman' is just another way of creating dividing lines. Can you imagine instead if we learned to be both our masculine and our feminine in balance? Could you imagine that people would be more whole if we looked at how we bring boys and girls up, train them in 'boys don't do that' or 'nice girls don't', etc. I see my son afraid to cry in front of other boys and I ask 'why'? I know how I teach him but the message he's receiving is louder and more frequent than what I've raised him to be. I know he'll find a balance because at the core he has a strong base and once he's grown to where he's not so influenced by peers and more confident he'll be less affected by others' perceptions.
You know me, I love and honor women, and most of my coaching clients are women, but men ARE here and we're full of hope and possibility, just like women, and those that are lucky enough to be able to be authentic, without worrying about labels, are a growing commodity. Sam Sheperd wrote in the play Buried Child, "There's a lot of woman in that man", and I've always thought that was a high compliment.
Don't write us off, please, as we need each other.
LOVE to you from the other side, but not really so 'other',
James
Judith Rich, you surely have my vote as well. Again, an excellent post. I love reading your words.
Might I also point out that women not only become hawkish in hawkish environments but also when they have to be "on-the-job" 24/7 and play both roles as a necessity due to their particular circumstances or environment. After a while, they forget to lower their "arms" because the "masculine" side seems safer though painful. Sure it's detrimental to the sacred feminine but it is what it is.
And I'm speaking from personal experience as a woman who grew up in the Caribbean, lived in New York and is now in Switzerland. It is fascinating - what an eye-opener - to observe it all from my position now.
Cara Barker is absolutely right. The Sacred Feminine is awakening around the world, and it is affecting all those who are already aware, who are waking up and those who are ready to do so.
We are truly living in wonderful times and I wouldn't change a thing if I could. Because we are the ones who are taking us where we need to go. The next few years are going to be absolutely fascinating.
Thank you for the article. For the most part I agree with you but several of the arguably the most powerful women in the western world in the past few years have been hawkish if not outright hawks (Margaret Thatcher, Condoleeza Rice, Hillary Clinton). It seems that powerful women in relatively hawkish societies are almost forced to take a hawkish position in order to be elected. It's not clear to me that simply putting more women in positions of power will resolve that conflict, but I would love to give it a try to find out (it certainly couldn't be worse and the data you cite in your article suggests that it would likely be a lot better!).
Dear mjegan59,
Your point is well made. It's unfortunate that many women today have had to sell out on their feminine qualities to make it in the man's world. We've had to play by men's rules. While Hillary Clinton is an enormous champion for women's rights, her turning hawkish during the Bush administration is a perfect example of selling one's soul for political advantage. I was proud of her stand for women in Beijing and disappointed in her stand for the Iraq war in 02.
So yes, you'll always be able to find examples of women who don't fit the role of peacemaker. My purpose is to point out the work of those who've made a difference and the importance of women's contributions. There are always exceptions.
I appreciate your thoughtful comment!
Best,
Judith
Dr Rich,
I agreed and enjoyed this article thoroughly! May I suggest a modification to the Department of Peace? Could you make it an International Board of Peace?! If we women could get together all across the world to form an international coalition of women , I believe we could not only change today's world but make even make those in charge(largely men) re-think how they see the world.
As a mother of a son and a daughter, I also feel that we need to change how our sons are brought up, worldwide. At least definitely in the countries where women don't have parity ... if we can make a generation of boys understand that women have a voice and value, that women are sentient beings who can and must exercise authority and rule, we may evolve into a world of people first, not male nor female, not black or white, this or that etc.
I'm really not kidding about the International part ! .. How about the United Nations of Women? After all, with men in charge all these centuries, they certainly cannot absolve themselves of the mess the world is in .....
Dear Maya68,
An International Board of Peace is a great idea. I'm on board with that. However, I think the U.S. could serve as an example if we first established our own governmental Dept. of Peace. Canada and Costa Rica already have official departments of peace.
The U.N. has held 4 world conferences on women. Read about the U.N.'s World Conference on Women at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_World_Conference_on_Women. In May of next year, there will be the Sophia Women's World Conference held in Bulgaria as a follow up to the last U.N. conf. held in Beijing. Read about it here: http://www.sophiawwc.org/. There is a lot of movement happening in women's issues at the international level. We need it at home!
I think Obama is a perfect example of a single mom raising her son to be tuned in to the bigger picture. He is a champion of women. Look at his wife and daughters! How could he not be? But he's also a political animal and this is where he seems to lose his way. We need him to take a strong stand on a whole host of issues affecting women, starting with health care. Oh, now you've got me started.......
Best I just say "thank you" and leave it at that.
Best,
Judith
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
I am enjoying your series so much. Actually, I keep thinking about the 'Department of Peace' not only as an outer necessity, but as an individual, interior 'department.' I've been asking myself the question 'How's my own Department of Peace doing today in handling inner and outer dispute?'
You offer so much that gets the pot stirred in really important and timely ways, Judith. One of the aspects of the subject that stirs me most deeply is the increasing evidence that the Sacred Feminine is awakening around the world, each time we get intentional about our relations to one another.
Much love and gratitude your way,
Cara
Dear Sister Cara,
Oh yes! The Girl is indeed a rising! Notice how threatened some people become when evidence of that is front and center. Yet, stir the pot I must, I just can't help myself! It's what I came to do.
I do notice dear sister, that you are right there beside me stirring, ever stirring. Think I'll stir my way on over to your neck of the woods and see what I can stir up there.
I do so love you!
Judith
Dear Judith:
Nice answer on the high school! - Thanks for putting it front and center that for many years women have mopped up the mess that is left behind. Funny enough it is so true down to the tiniest details of our lives, in our homes and in our families. For those people that have never had to leave their comfort zones in a forced manner by wars and conflict, only to come back and find you have nothing familiar in your life, it is easy to equate this to some high school drama! - I come from a country where indeed women picked up the pieces, buried their husbands, their neighbours' husbands and sons, mothers and grandmothers in one big pile because they were nothing but a heap of bones. Some were left completely alone and went mad. To witness this and go beyond yourself championing peace and forward movement is the epitome of human evolution. It is little wonder that Madeleine Albright would make such a statement because as a thousand people an hour were being slaughtered in the 1994 genocide of Rwanda, as Sec. of State for the Clinton administration, she supported the reduction of UN Peace Keepers and refused to use the word "genocide" as thousands of bodies were floating in the Nyabarongo river.....The women of Rwanda have already forgiven her.
Oh dear Mamapanya,
How I love that you stopped by and helped make it very real. Only someone who's been through what you've been through can know what it's like to be the one to pick up the pieces when life as you know it no longer exists.
I wish you'd share more about your experience. Where are you from? Please tell us what happened.
Your comment about the women of Rwanda breaks my heart wide open. THIS is what women do! We need to hear more about this. I hope you'll drop by again and say more.
Blessings,
Judith
See Kari Henley's Profile
wonderful job, Judith!
Keep pushing for the Department of Peace. With the recent studies of the decline of women's happiness, coupled with the disturbing statistics of our place in the world of gender equality, it is clear we need to create structural changes in our environments, both at home, at work, and in our government, so women have the ability to use their natural skills towards more peaceful resolutions and creative innovations.
I third the nomination!!!
Kari
Kari
You crack me up! Thirding the nomination...... I should be so blessed as to get to serve in that way. I'm still working on my own internal Dept. of Peace as Cara says. Yet, I also can't help but stir the pot. Wanna join me? I think we have a pretty potent committe of stirrers here, you, Cara, Anne, Eli and me. I think we could stir up something pretty powerful and make a difference for women. I'm on that page......let's do it together! You in?
Love to you,
Judith
We need to shift the focus of power from men to women if we are resolve any conflict in the world.
Just one frustrated man's opinion.
GodYesOrNo.com
I second Anne's nomination for your being a member of the Dept of Peace! Your article touched my heart and soul just as Somaly Mam the speaker at the conference yesterday morning. If only I had known you were there I would have loved to jump over and give you a hug of appreciation.
We can change the world. You already are.
All My Love,
Eli
Dearest Eli,
Oh, how I WISH I'd actually been there ! I felt blessed to even get to watch the live webcast of the conference. But YOU were there! How wonderful! How was it? It looked so fabulous online, I can only imagine the energy of all those women must have been electrifying.
I could barely tear myself away from the computer yesterday, the speakers were so compelling. Please do share about your experience if you have a chance.
Big, juicy hugs to you,
Judith
Thanks for being steadfast in this purpose. I am with you 100% and appreciate your the integration of your heart. It's amazing to me that this whole concept is still a bold gesture for so many. I look forward to the day when the department of peace is implemented and bask in the reflection of the direction in which our collective consciousness is clearly moving.
Who would I nominate to head the dept of Peace? Well, I do agree with Anne for sure! Oprah really has been a fierce example of compassion and peace. would love that!
Love,
Jason
Dear Jason,
We have a ways to go to achieve equality, that's for sure. Thank you for your compassionate heart! You are truly a brother. Congrats on the passage of the hate crimes bill in congress today. A BIG step for us all!
Love to you,
Judith
I nominate the woman who tamed the Terminator. Looks like she's qualified.
Indeed, Diog! She'd get my vote, too.......
I agree with just about everything you say here, Judith, with one small exception. I would replace the word "women" everywhere in your post with "women and the men who get it." There are plenty of men (yes, even in the U.S. of A.) that have overcome the conditioning of their birthright and developed the skills and insights needed to help build a more peaceful society. Dennis Kucinich (author of the Department of Peace legislation currently in the House - H.R. 808) certainly fits the bill, as does Deepak Chopra.
Also, as another poster has already commented, there are enough examples of women who lack the skills to build bridges and find common ground to negate your generalizations. Regardless of gender, peacebuilding is a skill that requires training, experience, and dedication.
The Secretary of Peace will be an executive-level position with a budget of $10 billion. The DOP will be responsible for reducing inner-city violence as well as building peace around the world. Perhaps someone from a large global NGO or nonprofit would fit the bill - the CEO of American Red Cross ($4 billion budget) comes to mind.
And YES! the time for establishing this commitment to peacebuilding in the highest level of government is now!
How about just replacing "women and men who get it" with "people who get it" - I fail to see anything constructive in pitting genders against each other in this way, especially when considering that historically, women in positions of power have been just as ruthless and willing to go to war as men.
Hello Tnunnster,
I hear you and your point is well made regarding men who would qualify. I think that's an "of course" and the prevailing paradigm throughout history. I agree there are plenty of men who could do the job and no doubt, most likely a man will probably get the job, if we ever get a DOP.
My purpose is to point out the role that women have played behind the scenes and don't get credit for.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment,
Judith
Beautiful Judith. To paraphrase a famous song writer we can get busy living or get busy dying. We can get busy making war or get busy making peace.
U.S. spends about 500 Billion on defense every year. Our nearest rival, Russia, spends about 50 billion. Too much?
I consider myself a fundamentalist Christian without a church. If anything its the church of the idea of ol' JC's main message. "Love on another."
My image of god is no longer the one on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Its the image of my grandmother on her farm in Montana.
One hug from her was like a lifetime of going to church.
Peace on ya and your good yin energy!
BB
Dear BB,
I love your message and I am definitely your fan! Move over while I join you on the same page.
Thanks for your big, wide open heart. You can be MY Secretary of Peace......
Love and blessings,
Judith
As Madeline Albright said - "Anyone that thinks the world would be at peace of women were in charge, doesn't remember High School"
"3) For women, peace takes priority over settling old scores."
Really? Have you lived in this world? You haven't seen women hold on to grudges forever? Or get back at someone that wronged them decades ago?
Dizmo4,
I anticipated someone raising the argument you raise, which is why I mentioned that men would probably disagree with my point. Yes, dismo4, I've lived in this world, spent 35 years working with people on their most intimate relationship issues, and I know that human beings, all of us, hold grudges at times.
Let me clarify my point, since it obviously wasn't clear, I'm referring to women's tendencies as part of a peace negotiating process where countries, villages, families, societies etc. are at stake. Women are more willing to look beyond self interests to find the greater good.
I don't mean for this post to become a gender war, so men, no offense meant. I'm not knocking men. Just giving some long over due acknowledgment to the unsung efforts of women.
I appreciate your comment, no matter what point of view you express! That's the beauty of open exchange.
Best to you,
Judith
female babies are treated with more kindness and care than male babies. and so on up the chain.
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