No matter how well adjusted parents and children are, the start of the school year is a time of high stress. Families have been operating in a slower gear all summer and now the pace will change dramatically. Parents may feel surprised and even a bit overwhelmed when the first homework assignments, sports schedules and social calendars emerge, but try not to overreact. Take the transition in stride and you and your children will have a much easier time with it.
Here are 16 tips to help parents and their children ease into high gear.
1.Stay calm and embrace uncertainty. Chances are things will not be perfect or completely settled before the first day of school. Maybe you forgot a certain binder that your child needs or your babysitting schedule isn't completely set, or you don't have all the rides to your son's soccer practices arranged. It won't help to react to every uncertainty with urgency and it will make you and the rest of the family stressed.
2.Focus on your family. When parents are stressed they can compare themselves to others without even realizing it. What's important is how you and your children are fairing. Don't worry if someone else seems happier or is a higher math group or has the teacher you wanted for your child. Comparing you and your children to others is unfair to everyone and leaves you feeling bad.
3.Be nonreactive. Allow your children to react to school and you be the rock solid parent. The less you react, the more quickly they will understand their reactions and problem solve their challenges.
4.Be realistic. The schedule will change. Those evenings of watching television or long family dinner aren't as abundant after the school year begins. Kids have to get to bed earlier which often means more work for you regarding keeping them on schedule and in a set routine. Accept the reality and see it as one aspect of this phase of life.
5.Plan family time. Set aside weekend or long weekend family time so that you have family connection time to look forward to despite the demands of the busy school year.
6.Connect with others. Many families have been away or have had different schedules this summer and now most people are on one a similar schedule. Use the school year to connect with other
parents. See this as an opportunity to share, listen and learn without comparing yourself to others.
7.Practice relaxation. It's very important to know how to de-stress. Have some tricks in your pocket to use when you feel your hear t rate rise, your palms sweat or your breathe becoming shallow. Deep breathing, visualizing yourself in control and choosing to step out of the stress are examples of relaxation that parents can use to de-stress.
8.Get sleep. Research indicates that less than seven hours a night of sleep increases stress and even decreases life expectancy. Making sure that you have sleep even though more is thrown on your plate with longer days is essential.
9.Prioritize. Get essentials like enough sleep and exercise when the school year ramps up, and skimp on expendables. Determine what non-essentials you can live without (at least temporarily). While sleep and exercise are huge for stress management, manicures, although pleasurable, don't offer the same benefit, but you decide what to do without.
10. Have you time. Ten minutes day of solitary time does wonders for clearing the clutter out of your head and getting in a positive mindset for starting the day.
11.Practice affirmations. Affirmations help us believe in ourselves. Affirmations are positive thoughts that change our brain chemistry to allow is to believe that anything is possible. If we believe anything is possible, we will act accordingly because our actions follow our thoughts. Affirmations raise the level of hormones and break negative thought cycles by overriding them with positive thoughts.
12.Practice intentional living. Be present for your children and family. When family members are together, listen and engage. Being distracted by your cell phone or preoccupied, dismisses those around you.
13. Be thoughtful. If it's not necessary, kind and true than don't share it. Living intentionally means being thoughtful and purposeful in your words and actions.
14.Be affectionate. Children love being told they' re loved and even if they are tweens and push you away, find moments where hugs and kisses are acceptable and relish them together!
15.Be active at end of school day transitions. For elementary school age kids in particular the transition from sitting in a class for 6 plus hours to going home is tough. Instead of watching your kids shovel food into their mouths for their "afternoon snack", take a walk. Walk home from school or pick up the kids and drive to local trail or walking area.
16.Say "No". Don't over schedule by agreeing to more than you can handle. Know your limits.