I am appalled at the coverage of Governor Mark Sanford's infidelity to his wife and sons. I am appalled at the moral posturing. I am appalled that we think we have the right. As members of the human species, I believe we do not have that right. Not now. Not ever.
Humans make mistakes. Small ones. Big ones. Gargantuan ones. All human beings make mistakes, but not all humans are held to the same moral standards. If you're just an ordinary citizen, you can make mistakes that traumatize the lives of those around you, and you don't appear on that rabid dragon known familiarly as cable news.
Governor Sanford cheated on his wife. In 27 years of spiritual counseling, I have met hundreds of humans in the same situation. I can assure you that they are already punishing themselves more than anyone else can punish them. My instant question is always, "Alright, what do you want to do now?"
Now is the only time for atonement. Now is the only time where forgiveness begins. Now is the only time for confession. Now is the only time for clearing the air. Now. Now. Now.
And cable news, bless their hearts, is no help -- at all.
What this latest infidelity has me wondering is: who died and made the cable pundits the morality police? Why do we insist upon holding our public servants to a different moral standard than the one to which we hold ordinary citizens? Whose morals are they, anyway?
My answer so far (subject to inspiration) is that they're the morals of a tiny minority of folks who consider themselves "real" Christians. They're the Christians who never make mistakes because they're ... what? Perfect? I don't think so.
The truth is that this pseudo-real Christianity is patriarchal in nature. In fact, it's based in patriarchy. Patriarchy wrote its history, and, as we all know, it's the winners who get the honor of writing history. But are they?
Not this time. For as long as we rigidly deny the existence of a Divine Feminine, a (gasp!) female face to Deity, we, as a species, will be morally stunted. Patriarchy allows for no errors, not even a margin for error. But the Divine Feminine, sometimes known as Shekinah, sometimes as the Holy Spirit, sometimes as Quan Yin, sometimes, even in the darkest patriarchy, known as the Blessed Virgin Mary, that Divine Feminine is a yielding, accepting, forgiving aspect of God. She knows humans make mistakes, and She loves us anyway, inclusive of error ad infinitum.
What Governor Sanford has done is wrong. What the cable news media have done with his wrong is a travesty. There's only one answer: forgiveness and reconciliation, yielding to the feminine face of God, and asking for wrong to be transformed (somehow) into right. I can't even begin to tell you how God does this, but I know from my own life that She does.
I also know that it only works when we take off our Morality Police hats, and our pseudo-religiosities, and give in to Divine Love. And we will have terrorists and troubles around the world until we finally figure this out and get it done.
For spiritual nourishment, visit Susan Corso's website at www.susancorso.com.
Follow Dr. Susan Corso on Twitter: www.twitter.com/PeaceCorso
What garbage this is.
There is nothing patriarchal in what the cable news outlets are reporting. In fact, the man in this equation is taking the brunt of the fuss.
Moreover, affairs are not "mistakes." A mistake is when you missadd something on your tax return, you stumble over something or you have an accident on the road because you used only your rearview mirror and thus didn't see the other car in your blindspot. An affair is a calculated, furtive act where both parties think they can get away with something. Sanford was so smitten with the Argentine woman that he asked his wife to visit her (now who had the power in that exchange? Jenny did!). Not exactly an "oopsie."
As for the behavior of cable news reporters, uncovering illicit relationships has been a staple of the way media does business for at least 200 years. Affairs are still officially taboo in this society even when more than half of married folks have them in reality, so it makes for juicy ratings grabbing fare.
Chill out. And drop politically correct, male bashing nonsense like "patriarchy." Repeating emptyheaded cant like that is as bereft of real thought as Republicans talking about being pro-life or pro "family values."
===
You're clearly not up to speed on the shift into the Age of Aquarius, Robin. Ever since the moon has been in the seventh house, and Jupiter has aligned with Mars, every bad thing people do is just a mistake...an oopsie, if you will.
Get thee to an omnifaith spiritual expert, my son. No doubt that out there in Seattle, you could throw a stone and hit a half dozen or so.
First, adultery involves emotional abuse. It feels like a "betrayal" because it tells the other spouse, "You are not important enough for me to police my own behavior. Your feelings are not a significant consideration." If it's not a "private matter" if a politician beats his wife, why is it a private matter if he has an affair?
Second, by refering to an affair as a person's "private sex life" or suggesting it's something which should be "forgiven" or "gotten over," you attempt to enforce a "boys will be boys" mentality which forgives any harm a man does to his spouse, his family, his job, etc., because he's just a mindless sexual animal with no control, and should be forgiven his "lapse". That is BLATANTLY sexist. Men are not dogs. Women are not leashes.
Third, affairs inherently involve deceit. Sanford has lied repeatedly. So did Spitzer, Craig, and so on. Show me someone who is being strung up for an open relationship, or a three-some, or polyamory, and I would defend that person. But that isn't what we're talking about here. We're talking about a liar. If he can look his wife in the eyes and repeatedly lie to her, he can sure as hell lie to the rest of us.
Why do some people who wouldn't vote for a person who wears fur, or who owns guns, argue that we shouldn't consider an affair?
I think the author is confusing people's outrage and the betrayal/lying/immorality for something it isn't.
The story is not the affair, although that makes for salacious reading. The story is Sandford's hypocrisy and his theft from the taxpayers of South Carolina. That he went to South America on the South Carolina dime to conduct an extra-marital affair, while condemning others for the same conduct, renders it quite newsworthy. (For what it's worth had he gone to South America as an individual -- not Governor -- on the South Carolina dime to build schools, it would still be stealing from the taxpayers of Sourth Carolina.)
Had Gov. Sanford been merely a mid-level company executive we wouldn't even be hearing about this. That is the real point of the news media attention. It doesn't give diddle about who's diddling who unless there's some celebrity or other sensationalism attached.
It is also very important to note that Gov.Sanford built his political career around being a virtuous man, not just a Christian. Therefore, he deemed himself qualified to stridently scold President Clinton for his infidelity, as well to oppose gay marriage, abortion and a few other issues of civil concern.
Karma, my dear doctor, should be at least as respected as the feminine divine.
===
So...you're morally outraged at the morally outraged?
Sweet!
Are you really missing the point this badly?
Mark Sanford is the governor of a state - a poor and disadvantaged one, at that.
There are only 49 other Americans like him, who are supposed to run their states as a business should be run.
Mark Sanford used taxpayer money, had his staff lie to his constituents and embarked on an international affair. But he did make a big show of turning down stimulus money that could have helped the people of South Carolina.
He has preached over and over again about how public officials should resign for doing the very things he has done, though most of them did not go out of the country to do so.
Morality police? I think not. Just a bunch of folks who think that people who are elected to do a job for us should do just that.
You are way off the "mark" here. Pun intended...
WOW! Fantastic Blog. You said so much yet it took me so little time to read, I had to do a word count. 548. Intolerance and lack of forgiveness seem to be the hallmarks of American society today. I'm happy to see this subject broached by you and several other authors here in HuffPo. This is twice in the last fewl days that a writer who is carried on the living page addresses something I had just recently been talking about or had written. .
Moreover, Mark Sanford is not just some dude from down the street. He's a state governor and a leader within the GOP. We hold our leaders to higher standards because their jobs are more important. Had their been a disaster, the state would have been hampered by a lack of clear leadership. The schadenfreude generated by the hypocrisy of a "family values party" having an affair is only a portion of why Sanford is getting pummeled. Significant leaders do not get to go AWOL to carry out trans-continental affairs because it effects their ability to do their job.
As for God, God is male, and female, and both, and neither, and we humans should keep in mind that we do not truly grasp God.
BarryS points out that "most of us don't claim we are [perfect] and judge others." I agree that Sanford's hypocrisy is the real "community crime," but as a Christian, I know that forgiveness does not mean saying that a sin is OK.