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Jack Shafer |
Posted Friday July 14, 2006 at 08:57 AM
Jack Shafer can resist Shamu's siren call no longer: today, he weighs in on our lovable whale's dance of triumph atop the roiling wave of MEL, and contributes to Shamu's legacy by providing a handy lesson in copying his success, or her in the case where Shamu is a lady whale. Upshot: start with a word like "Shamu" which really tickles certain people pink (not SERIOUS journalists though. We're immune to the allure of fun-sounding words. Mnookin. Mnookin. Mnookin.) Here's Shafer's breakdown:
- Pimp your headline. Shamu wasn't even IN Sutherland's story. Yeah, that's right, Shamu is BIGGER than Sutherland's story.
- Combine the novel with the mundane. We refuse to believe that Shamu could be mundane under any circumstances. Go Shamu!
- If you find Shamu disarming, that's probably because he has no arms. Thank you, I'll be here all week! Try the veal! (Shafer says bad standup works in print)
- A column should be structured like a sitcom, like that fun "According To Jim." My favorite episode was the one where Shamu lived with two women but told his landlord he was gay, and also kept tripping over that step in the middle of the living room.
- Must love dogs, and also whales. People love reading about animals.Look at you, you're just like the rest of them.
- Anthropomorphization, baby! ETP used this fun word too, possibly because it's more fun than "theriomorphize." But if you do both, you'll ride MEL hard and put it away wet, although between Shamu and Rogue Waves, MEL's been pretty wet these days, anyway.
Shafer says he now plans only to write about animal-named media figures, and suggest a new animal-themed moniker for himself: "Jackal." I have another suggestion: SHAMU-FER! Yep, I think that'll stick.
