You know, when the Reverend Al Sharpton disparaged the Mormon religion by saying of Mitt Romney's electoral chances: "As for the one Mormon running for office, those that really believe in God will defeat him anyway, so don't worry about that," the conventional wisdom was that Sharpton revealed a nasty streak of bigotry. Certainly, the backlash was what led to Sharpton's "apology", which we loosely translate as:
"I'm sorry that none of you understood that the words that came out of my mouth were not intended to convey the literal meaning of those words, but rather, were intended to convey an entirely different meaning, one that would normally be formed by the use of entirely different words. See, I'm like the instructions you get from Ikea--if you actually try to follow them, you'll never get your curio cabinet built. You have to allow for some discrepancy in translation. You all have assembled something from Ikea, right? You know what I'm talking about! Were any of you using Allen wrenches to listen to me the other day? No? Well, there you go."
Interestingly, none of this has seemed to adversely affect Romney. In fact, his campaign seems to have picked up a little steam. Today in the New York Times, Romney made specific mention of this, saying, "There are times when you have updrafts, and there are times when there are downdrafts. This is an updraft for me."
That's when it hit us: Hey, maybe, Sharpton's remarks, which he readily admits were meant to convey something antithetical to their seeming intent, were actually meant to signal an endorsement for the Mormon candidate! Surely Sharpton knows that once he's voiced his displeasure for Romney, Republican voters are likely to flock to him in droves. The Times bore witness to one such devoted Romneyite:
"If nobody better comes along, I'm going to vote for him. But I'm hoping somebody better comes along."
That sounds like a horse that's been led to water by Al Sharpton to us! Also: remember that time when Sharpton said he thought some lacrosse players were guilty because he knew "this DA is probably not one that is crazy. He would not have proceeded if he did not feel that he could convict," and then it turned out that the DA was, like, TOTALLY BONKERS and the lax players were ALL THE WAY innocent and NONE OF THEM got convicted of anything? This totally reminds us of that!