We have a friend who seems to lurch from one near disaster to another. Fortunately, each situation never becomes totally disastrous, just enough to keep the drama going and us engaged. She seems to attract difficulties to her like a bee to honey and, it appears, has a self-centered ego invested in them due to the attention she attracts. This is not unusual, given the nature of the egoic mind, which likes to focus on "me" before anyone else.
Many of you know at least one such drama queen, if not two or three! But how do you rate when it comes to dramas? Does your day, if not your life, seem like a nonstop palaver? Are there never-ending to-do lists, calamities to be fixed or obstacles to be overcome? Does it all seem like an endless song and dance routine? And is there any way out of this dilemma?
As William Shakespeare said, the world is a stage... and we do tend to think of ourselves as the main actor. It's easy to feel that you are the center of the fulcrum, the point around which the world revolves.
Becoming a witness to this can be liberating. By simply watching the drama and not actually becoming it, you can maintain your sanity and awareness. It's not that you are disconnected, detached, or emotionally removed from what is happening, as if it were happing to someone else, but you are fully aware of your feelings without needing to judge or react to them.
An example of this is with illness. It is easy, when afflicted by disability or sickness for instance, to identify with it as "mine": my illness, disease, physical problems. But who you are is not the illness. As Byron Katie said to us, "I'm fine, it's just my body that's being challenged." Who you are is a radiant and free being. Your body, and aven your mind, may be experiencing limitations, but within you is the witness that observes this while remaining unbound by it.
Some years ago we were on a meditation retreat in Thailand. The monk teaching us said, "If you experience pain, fear, or anger, do not label such emotions as 'my pain', 'my fear', or 'my anger.' When you think of them as yours, then more pain arises. Just see all emotions without identifying them as 'mine.'"
So, if your life appears to be a nonstop drama, try taking time to step back and just observe it, be mindful without judging it or making it "mine." Normally, you may react to what you are feeling with guilt or shame, but as you develop the witness you will see when your ego is reacting and how that affects your communication. Then you can be aware and fully present with whatever is happening, while remaining deeply in touch with your inner self. See the mind as an ocean: How your thoughts and feelings are the surface turbulence, but below is still and calm deep water.
Without a doubt meditation is a brilliant way to develop witness consciousness or mindful awareness. It invites us to enter into the depths of stillness within, from where we can observe the waves above. It creates a quiet spaciousness so we can watch our ego at play without getting caught up in the accompanying drama.
How do you deal with the dramas in your life? Do comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Thursday by checking Become a Fan at the top.
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BJ Gallagher: Buddha: How to Tame Your Monkey Mind
Dr. Judith Rich: The Power Of Conscious Forgetting, Part Two
In her profile, it said, "no drama queens please!" Before I responded any further, I had to tell her something personal about myself which was applicable to this request of hers.
I responded, "You said no 'drama queens please' in your profile, so I should let you know something about myself before continuing. Depression runs in my family, and well, I'm part of the family. Let me know if you'd still like to meet."
She said no, and thanks for being honest.
I think it's important to try and retain a healthy perspective about drama, as noted in this article. This sentence is key: "It's not that you are disconnected, detached, or emotionally removed from what is happening, as if it were happing to someone else, but you are fully aware of your feelings without needing to judge or react to them."
Drama is also a part of life. If your goal is merely to avoid drama for drama sake, you may be missing out on things which are worth while. Drama tends to surround things which are worthwhile, things like: family, love, employment, and friendship.
HuffPost viewers would enjoy reading this!
Enjoy the journey,
Ed
I threw his behind out of my house! Ahhhh....Peace.
Since then I've declared myself to have a healthy aversion to "OPD"...other people's drama.
cinfullydem you are cool!
Only if you have teenage girls.
fanned & fav'd
Thank you!
saying no is saying yes to yourself!
thanks for sharing-
Fanned & Fav'd
Ed
Happy to say my life is presently not very dramatic, other than in my mind which will create dramas out of absolutely nothing. Enough already!
I am grateful for daily meditation in which to observe the shenanigans and enjoy greater peace of mind!
Joy to you,
Anne
"other than in my mind which will create dramas out of absolutely nothing. Enough already!"
I say monkey mind - whenever the monkey acts up - the monkey then just stops :-)
Hugs,
Ed
You can stop the run away train with just these thoughtful words.
"He abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me,"— in those who harbour such thoughts hatred will never cease. "He abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me," — in those who do not harbour such thoughts hatred will cease. For hatred does not cease by hatred at any time: hatred ceases by love, this is an old rule.
& for being a constant source of inspiration!
awakening words & luminous being!
Om mane padme hum!
Jygpo (Ed)
Spot on attitude -
Ahhhhhhh
Ommmmm
Ed
selfishness.....break out of the pattern of your ego and be loving, and caring and compassionate.....
PEACE TO MOTHER EARTH!!!!!
Great advice!
great comment for others to read!
Touched my heart!
May all beings be happy!
Ed
I've learned to say no and not feel bad about it. I don't create my own 'dragons' very often, and learned to not take on another's 'dragons'. I've also learned that some have what I call a "crisis management" script for life, and are comfortable with it. That, to me is an activity trap we should all recognize and avoid. Those taking and never giving are great at recognizing those willing to help others, and some make a good living at it. I'm more inclined to help those in need of help, but won't ask.
As for health: I live abut to degenerative disk disease. I do not plan to be a function of it. There are things I must do, but they are perspective driven. A few years ago I stopped doing "rehab" and started doing "prehab," aimed at slowing degeneration and increasing strength, balance and flexibility. Pain is not partial, hurting the weak and strong alike. I decided to 'hurt strong;' physically, mentally and emotionally: life in 3D. That way I don't have the spasms, exhaustion, limited motion, and ensuing frustration.
With divine help: I think, therefore, I am.
Thank you for sharing what is going on -
your attitude will give you altitude!
Treasure yourself,
Ed
Not much drama here, now. When the body was younger it was more inclined to react and dramatize. Now, no 'time' for such. Life flows.
Have a question.. What is the difference between simply sitting in the silence and listening ... and what is termed mindfulness meditation ?
I recently came across this artist. Loved the words so much :
http://youtu.be/_9A-aBkbeeQ
You possibly know the song.
namaste....
Have a question.. What is the difference between simply sitting in the silence and listening ... and what is termed mindfulness meditation?
same thing. Although mindfulness stresses the awareness of mind & body!
I gotta admit I give in to it sometimes, the last time was one month ago - full blown rage - hadn't happened to me in years. Yet what was interesting was that 10 minutes into it (if so much) I understood so clearly that what I was angry about was not the person I was abusing and that the underlying issues had nothing to do with the persons involved and that I had to take decisive action to snip off those rotting ends before they contaminated me further.
That realisation pissed me off because I would have preferred to blame someone else and the damn rage sorta sputtered out.
The above notwithstanding, I am not a drama queen and keep those who are at arms length. That takes too much energy. When I was younger I retreated into my shell. Now, I deal with the issue directly without being distracted by emotional arguments.
Sometimes I still ignore it for a while when it's emotionally yucky.
Cheers
Catherine
The Dalai Lams said those that we have difficulty with are our gurus-
as they teach us patience!
You are a jewel!
:-))
People who find themselves surrounded by egocentric people (they will manifest that egocentricity in varying ways and not always in the same way you will) need to look at their own egocentricity and take time away from their distractions. Let the light in on that aspect of their personalities. Personally, I learn so much about myself by noting what type of person pervades my world. Often what I discover is very painful, but then, finding a turd on a good carpet always is..
fanned & fav'd