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Ed and Deb Shapiro

Ed and Deb Shapiro

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Why Finding Your Peace Means Less Suffering for Others

Posted: 05/17/11 07:47 AM ET

Once we find inner peace, any small bit of it, baby step by baby step, we feel much better, even joyful and energized. Then whatever activist work we do to achieve outer peace in any situation comes from an effective place and does not create more turbulence and counter-reactions.
-- Robert Thurman

It's a simple equation. When we are unhappy or angry then we are also angry with other people and increase the suffering in the world. When we are in pain, that pain gets projected onto others or blamed onto everything around us: "It's your fault I'm unhappy!" When we find our peace, as we do in meditation, then that means there is one less person suffering and one less person causing suffering to others.

We have spent the better part of our lives studying, practicing and teaching meditation in different countries around the world. Yoga and Buddhism are our spiritual roots. And we often wonder how we could possibly function without it, or how anyone functions without some form of spiritual practice as their foundation, without the awareness and sanity that meditation brings.

"We have to find a way to remove ourselves from all those messages of unfulfilled desire coming at us or we do not have a chance to clear our minds," writes Lindsay Crouse in "Be The Change." "The kind of constant busyness we are a part of is actually a kind of aggression against ourselves, because we have no peace. More importantly, we construct the world by how we think. For instance, when we are in love, we will run out in the rain with our lover, dancing and singing and celebrating, getting entirely wet; whereas most days when we open the door and we see it raining, we use an expletive. It is not the rain's fault; there is no quality in the rain that should make us either happy or unhappy. That is coming from us. So, if the way we are seeing the world is coming from within us, then the world is a reflection of how we are thinking and feeling and acting and speaking. In that case, we need to take time out to deeply consider how we want to behave."

Meditation equals sanity in an insane world. The Middle East is crumbling, going through massive and violent changes; Japan is facing unbelievable difficulties and suffering due to man's need for endless nuclear power; the U.S., directed by Obama, just killed the world's most infamous terrorist, while the Republicans are horror-struck that there is a black president. All this is sourced from the need for power, from greed, hatred, ignorance and unhappiness. As Ed recalls: "I am a Jew and you are not, meaning that, as children, we were only allowed to relate to people who were like us. I wasn't allowed to bring a friend home or to eat in his home if he was not Jewish. I was taught to fear anyone who was different."

How do we deal with this? How can we claim our dignity, humanity and humility, both as individuals and as a human race? The most obvious and simplest way to stop the aggression is to find our peace. And the sanest way to do that is by stopping, being quiet, and making friends with ourselves through meditation. It has the effect of lifting us out of the quicksand of the mind, out of misunderstanding and suffering. Through it we find our freedom from reactive, rash, and self-serving behavior. Having a more compassionate understanding is vital to our development and survival as a human race.

"Meditation is calming the reptilian brain," writes Matthew Fox in "Be The Change." "We have all got three brains in us: One is a reptilian brain, which is about 420 million years old, our mammal brain is half that old, and our most recent one is the intellectual creative brain. The reptilian brain is very prominent; it runs our respiratory and sexual systems; it is action and reaction. We have to calm this reptilian brain so that the mammal brain, which is the brain of compassion and is here to bring kindness and kinship and bonding, can function. I mean, reptiles do not make good lovers; that is not their thing. Meditation allows us to treat the reptilian brain well: 'Nice crocodile, nice crocodile.' When we calm the crocodile, then the mammal brain can assert itself. Meditation is not just for professional monks; it is a survival mechanism for us all, especially in this time of crowdedness and rubbing shoulders with people of different faiths and traditions. We all have to learn to calm our reptilian brain."

Has meditation helped you find peace? Do comment below.

* * * * *
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See our award-winning book: "BE THE CHANGE: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World," forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Marianne Williamson, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Matthew Fox, Lindsay Crouse, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our three meditation CDs: Metta -- Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi -- Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra -- Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

 
 
 

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Once we find inner peace, any small bit of it, baby step by baby step, we feel much better, even joyful and energized. Then whatever activist work we do to achieve outer peace in any situation comes f...
Once we find inner peace, any small bit of it, baby step by baby step, we feel much better, even joyful and energized. Then whatever activist work we do to achieve outer peace in any situation comes f...
 
 
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MommyMD
MD, Professor, Mom
05:33 AM on 06/04/2011
Lovely article...but I would like to add that physically helping others is also a meditative practice. Sometimes, "doing first" and meditating later is quite effective...for the self and the world. Jewish tradition (by no means more or less meaningful than the Eastern traditions discussed above) emphasizes orthopraxis....do good even when you don't feel like it, and your heart will soon follow. With an MDiv in Eastern Religion, a Jewish home, and a somewhat frantic medical practice, I wonder if "business vs happiness" is a false dichotomy. Please read this with knowledge of my deep respect for your commitment and good works: I wonder if the movement of meditation first translates into "meditation only," perpetuates a "me first" attitude.....and the "less suffering for others" somehow gets lost in translation. Just a thought. I'm sure you could address this well (no need to do it for me...I've digested enough lectures and know you have a cogent argument). I thought it may be valuable to emphasize the actual endpoint (less suffering). Dr. Thurman (my former prof.), I believe, makes the entire connection....but I'm not sure the masses are getting the message :)
09:13 PM on 05/20/2011
"The practitioner was asked how does one end suffering in this world?

The yogi closed his eyes and chanted slowly "Hari aum tat sat," and then concluded, "Om Shanti Shanti Shanti." He then bowed from his waist with clasped hands and remained silent."

In the Shadows: Tales of Ashik
Ashik Jaya
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
03:29 AM on 05/21/2011
Hari Om Tat Sat - that which is - or god is the only reality

Om Shanti - Peace

Swami Brahmananda (Ed Shapiro)
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
03:58 AM on 05/21/2011
the best way to end suffering is not to create it - each person -

by not creating suffering in yourself is the best beginning - stop the war within -

& to be honest people have been chanting -

Hari Om Tat Sat & Om Shanti

for thousands of years & the world is still a mess!

But

I repeat/chant within & without these mantras as they create ease, clarity etc.

Swami Brahmananda (EdS)
09:36 PM on 05/22/2011
"Ashik says these are sad times very sad times that dear reader requires explanations. From time immemorial when the storyteller told his tale, the listener understood. The listener might not have grasped the full import of the storyteller's message but his heart was stirred by it. Today, we demand spoon feeding. We want the commentaries and the commentaries within the commentaries. We are not satisfied until it is boiled down to infinity!" exclaimed Ashik. Satya could see the fire in Ashik's eyes and trembled.

Ashik sighed and after a long pause resumed his discourse. "The point of the encounter with the Yogi was that he addressed the problem of dukkha (suffering) by offering the questioner the first step. Then it was up to the questioner to take the initial step. Need I say more?" asked Ashik has he wearily wiped sweat from his brow.

Satya hesitantly asked him, "Were you angry at the student? It appears to me that way."

"Yes, Satya. I erred here and became embroiled with unpleasant feelings. You see, Satya, I wonder if there will be another storyteller after I die or will I be the last one."

In the Shadows: Tales of Ashik
Ashik Jaya
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Russ Klettke
Business and fitness writer
12:12 PM on 05/19/2011
Ed and Deb:

Great article – I think we can all benefit from this.

Here's the first of four articles I wrote on meditation based on your book and an interview we did about a year ago. My apologies for not posting/sending you the links earlier. http://www.hairloss.com/home/an-introduction-to-meditation.html
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
05:30 AM on 05/20/2011
Hi Russ - great to hear from you - we are in England t the moment - we will look at this and then get back to you:

http://www .hairloss. com/home/a n-introduc tion-to-me ditation.h tml
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
12:00 PM on 05/21/2011
Great keep up the good work!
03:30 AM on 05/19/2011
Is it even possible to be happy and at peace all the time? I don't think such a condition would be healthy anyway. There has to be some kind of mental distress which acts as a signal for you that something is wrong so that you can do something to make the situation better. So if the rain makes you feel unhappy then do something about it (such as find ways to move to a sunny place, facilitate climate research that would enable us to control the weather in our cities and towns, etc).

This is the difference between eastern western philosophy. In the east, what with the buddha finding nirvana and all, it is advised that we should let go of all desires and attachments and simply have a blank mind. In the west it is thought that an active mind is needed to generate a state of mental turmoil. Out of this turmoil and chaos something good emerges.

Best solution is to have both from time to time.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
04:49 AM on 05/19/2011
thank you HPreader10000 -

You may not quite understand what we are saying -

happiness and peace is an inside job - our inner self is like the sky -

the sky is transparent, clear, like peace - but there is hurricanes, rain, snow, wind, sleet etc.

but

the sky is unaffected by all this it remains - sky -

our inner self, pure mind - is also not disturbed by the - mental distress, worries, concerns that

arise daily -

and again absolutely disagree with what you say here:

"I don't think such a condition would be healthy anyway. There has to be some kind of mental distress which acts as a signal for you that something is wrong so that you can do something to make the situation better."

The greatest healthy condition is realising your peace, your happiness & yes you can still feel discomfort , etc. but it doesn't take you over! it comes & it goes :-))
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mozartssister
03:17 AM on 05/25/2011
Plus, rain is a WONDERFUL thing. Think of the damage we would do if we robbed our planet of its lifeblood, water!
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khanti
Cultivator
08:05 PM on 05/18/2011
I love the headline. It explains everything. Your articles are getting better and better each week. Keep up the good work.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
04:38 AM on 05/19/2011
you bring warmth & lovinglyness to us - don't leave :-))
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khanti
Cultivator
07:22 AM on 05/19/2011
You can catch me at my at http://www.facebook.com/#!/wong.t.kong?sk=info
11:04 AM on 05/18/2011
HI Ed, Hi Deb,

I think so much aggressiveness is derived from defensiveness which I think finds its roots in what you said, "I was taught to fear anyone who was different." As long as we're struggling to ward off bad things, we don['t have the time to appreciate the beauty of the world.

Meditation is good for me and yet I get too busy with tasks and objectives that I neglect to give myself this wonderful gift. Thankfully I get a weekly reminder here to sit quietly, attend to my breathing and practice soft-belly existence. That's when I realize all over again that my plans are all well and good but they'll amount to little if I don't pet the crocodile an feed the monkey his banana.

Have a bloas,
little brother
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
05:38 PM on 05/18/2011
hi my little brother - we are in England at the moment - moving around -

I will reply to this tomorrow -

you always bring good vibs :-))
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MerrieWay
04:16 AM on 05/18/2011
Hi Dear Ones...So auspicious your beautiful blog. Just completed,"Peace Smarts Within" with MP3 meditations, a complimentary guide to our curriculum...Peace Smarts...I have three words for my shout out. "Peace is Love".
Big hugs & giggles. Merrie Lynn
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
05:16 AM on 05/18/2011
Hi Gorgeous person - happy to hear your good news!

Life is a gas - have fun

Be happy & bring happiness to others :-))
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gemsviathailand
Namaste - Have a nice day!
08:18 PM on 05/17/2011
Meditation has helped me find more than peace. Peace, or peace of mind, could be considered a good beginning or introduction. Once familiarity with it is engrained via repetition varying degrees of serenity will ensue. Often, serenity is considered to be a peaceful state amidst turmoil, calamity or adversity – unruffled feathers in a high gale, so to speak.

The natural progression of living more serenely results in an expanded and more grounded confidence in the future. Confidence in the future can be quite an asset on challenging days.

Peace has many a challenging mirrored emotion on the wheel. Apparently, serenity is less attached to the world of duality.

It was recommended to me that mingling with Bliss while meditating helps reduce dualistic entanglements. @viasammilaw
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
05:20 AM on 05/18/2011
words of wisdom - thank you!

I recommend viewers read this comment it has heart!

Bliss dissolves the mind & fills us with joy!
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DiogenesOfAlaska
Mitt Romney for president - of the Cayman islands!
04:36 PM on 05/17/2011
'we often wonder how ... anyone functions without some form of spiritual practice as their foundation, without the awareness and sanity that meditation brings.'

I'm afraid the answer is: they don't function. They símply increase the pain, the instability, the ignorance and the ignorance about the state of ignorance.

Maybe it would be a good idea to teach kids more about quicksand so they don't fall prey to it as adults.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
04:45 PM on 05/17/2011
Hi DOA - welcome to Healthy Living - always love your input -

Brilliant comment -

I do enjoy what you say as it is quite aware -
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KathleenQYD
www.QuintessentialYouDesign.com
03:16 PM on 05/17/2011
Thanks for the post Ed & Deb. In answer to your question, 'Has meditation helped you find peace?'....I can't say that meditation per se has helped me find peace... and I have sourced great serenity in choosing to live a meditative life. For me that means living in an inquiry-exploration-discovery context in every aspect of life, no exceptions. It is a life-long learning and realization opportunity!
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
04:18 PM on 05/17/2011
Wonderful Kathleen - you have chosen wisely - what would life be without as you say:

"For me that means living in an inquiry-exploration- discovery context in every aspect of life, no exceptions . It is a life-long learning and realisation opportunity!"

well said - well done!
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
02:30 PM on 05/17/2011
welcome viewers & Huffpo friends - to our new home

Healthy Living will be a new & wonderful addition to the HuffPost -

Let's have fun - Life is a gift
sonoffestus
Got smart & got out!
01:01 PM on 05/17/2011
"The kind of constant busyness we are a part of is actually a kind of aggression against ourselves, because we have no peace".......Linsay Crouse...................I find this comment to be spot on.

My Deb and myself, constantly aim at living a "simple life". It is the reduction of that "constant busyness" which leads us to a more peaceful existance.

I see mediation as a 'booster shot' for inner peace; the peace that one loses sight of in their daily "busyness" of life.

Live small and have a large life.........................SOF.

We have not "spoken" since March, I hope this note finds you both happy and well. Take care!
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
02:26 PM on 05/17/2011
Happy you are back where you belong sonoffestus :-))

a simple life is an elegant life - the greatest joy is wherever you are -

when your heart is open the inner sunlight is shining -

breathe the air of freedom

Be happy - be good & do good
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Arithrianos
reality has already (w)on(e), surrender!
10:15 AM on 05/17/2011
meditation as it has morphed for me is now not separate from "real life", the deepening call catches my i at odd moments thoughout, there are all sorts of trapdoors now that meditation has metasticized, all sorts of noticing how HARD the ground of being is, impenetrable and unfazable. meditation is the way to introduce reality read peace into any chaotic energy constraption that is being manifested through various levels of ignorance that seemingly are in charge, but not really. the deep is always there, peace is always a choice away, it depends on how you understand reality, outside in or inside out, inside out means reality is always an inside job, and so control only comes through peace, first clear you own mind then clarity will be a real possiblilty "outwardly" but there is no hope of clearing out all the agression manifesting "outside" while not cutting off the supply chain of suffering, the unhealed heart, the good old cycle of revenge misread as justice. peace means first do no harm, and anger mostly is harm unless fueled by peace not revenge, peace turns anger into determination, a much better alternative, it dosn't create more disturbance when utilized. may all beings choose peace as the weapon of choice, may there be victory over war.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
12:20 PM on 05/17/2011
Happy to see you here on the launching of * Healthy Living * as you bring that extra touch to blogging - that of wisdom!

& you don't disappoint us today - great comment -

I love what u say here:

" may all beings choose peace as the weapon of choice, may there be victory over war."
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
09:22 AM on 05/17/2011
Hello Ed and Deb,

Yes, meditation surely brings me peace - gratefully. Chanting also a spiritual tone in the company of others brings about a quality of peace, inner and outer, which is almost tangible.

What a blessing that somewhere along the lines of history we were given the gift of meditation!

Joy and laughter to you,
Anne
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
12:14 PM on 05/17/2011
Hi Anne - happy to connect with you - we are in Bath visiting Debs mum -

can feel your Brit energy- :-))

Yes we are fortunate to have the gift of meditation in our lives!

Cheers, & luvluv
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:55 AM on 05/18/2011
Beautiful time of the year for England. What a joy for you!

Loving to you both.