We may all have had times we've been put down, undermined, when our belief in ourselves is shaken, questioned or threatened, or when we feel we're simply not good enough. Such self-doubt can lead to hopelessness, inferiority, even depression. A lack of self-esteem is demeaning and just not an easy feeling.
The Dalai Lama met with a group of Western psychotherapists, and he asked them what was the most common issue that their patients came to see them about. They were unified in their response: a lack of self-esteem. Apparently the Dalai Lama found this quite hard to believe, as self-esteem is not a known problem in Tibet. We talked to one of his translators, now living with his wife and child in London. Tashi told us that children growing up in Tibet would be welcomed and loved by the whole village, which he found very different to the way children are raised in our more nuclear-oriented family culture.
We watched as an eager young television reporter from CNN asked the Dalai Lama what was the first thing he thought of when he awoke in the morning. We thought that the world's most famous meditator would say something deeply profound or insightful, something along the lines of vowing to save the world from its own ignorance. Instead, the Dalai Lama simply replied, "Shaping motivation." He said that we all, including himself, have to be vigilant so that our intentions are focused in the right direction, and how shaping his motivation on a daily basis reminds him to extend loving kindness and compassion to all others. Such motivation takes us beyond ourselves so that we are not limited by a lack of confidence or self-esteem.
There are two very specific ways that meditation can help us to transform a lack of self-esteem into inner confidence, self-acceptance and self-belief.
Firstly, it enables us to meet, greet, and make friends with ourselves. We get to know who we are and to accept and embrace ourselves just as we are. We soon find that our doubts, insecurities or fears are really only superficial as we begin to connect with a deeper place of trust, dignity and self-worth.
Secondly, as we bring acceptance and loving kindness to all aspects of ourselves, we may surprisingly uncover a deeper belief that we do not deserve to be happy, that we do not believe we are good enough -- a sort of unconscious built-in self-destruction clause. But we can invite kindness into that self-negation and lack of self-esteem until such uncertainty dissolves into love.
Meditation awakens us to the interconnection between every one of us, that we are not alone here. Rather, we are each a part of this wondrous planet together, and the more we extend ourselves with kindness the less we will be focused on our own limitations. Discovering our inter-connection takes us from a place of self-centeredness to other-centeredness. The Dalai Lama says kindness is his religion. You can read more in our book, Be The Change, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World.
Loving Self Meditation
Find a comfortable and upright place to sit. Take a few deep breaths and watch the flow of your breath as it enters and leaves.
Bring your focus to your heart, and as you breathe in feel as if your heart is opening and softening; as you breathe out, release any tension or resistance.
Now bring into your heart either an image of yourself or repeat your name and hold yourself in your heart, tenderly and gently. Silently repeat, "May I be freed from self-doubt, may I be happy, may all things go well for me."
Keep breathing into your heart, holding yourself with love, and repeating the words. This will generate a deep loving kindness and appreciation for yourself.
When you are ready, take a deep breath and let it go. Then go about your day with a caring heart and a smile on your lips.
Does your self-esteem need a boost? Do comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Thursday by checking Become a Fan at the top.
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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.
Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.
Our three meditation CDs: Metta -- Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi -- Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra -- Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com.
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I have been spending daily 40mins on excercising,pranayam n mediatation
20mins on body warm up excercises 10mins on praynam n 10mins on mediataion i,e deep breathing
IN and OUT
but after mediataion my mind is not stable it wonders
suggest for sumthn beeter dat wud help me to gain inner peace>???
It would be helpful to find someone who you feel resonates with you!
Om Shanti,
Swami Brahmananda (Ed)
meditation has been around well over 2500 years & in my own experience (over 42 years) absolutely nothing has the clarity, freedom, compassionate understanding, wisdom that liberates the mind from suffering, peace, happiness -
you name it!
Meditation is simply waking up from the delusion of the mind game!
Treasure yourself,
Ed
Deb
Thank you for sharing
Treasure yourself,
Ed
meditation in it's truest sense goes deeper much deeper than anything as it goes beyond the limits of the mind! It can release trauma - deep stress -
of course therapy can be of great benefit especially if the therapist meditates because then the therapist would have greater insight!
but through meditation you see the nature of the ego-mind -
You don't need to deal with damage from early life that is the past - let it go!
Through meditation you see it is not happening in the present.
I had a very difficult childhood growing up in a dysfunctional family in the Bronx certainly therapy helps but nothing compares with meditation.
Cheers,
Ed
to the 'me'-centered self!
until one meditates one is deluded -
the story- the low or high self-esteem is not the issue-
a bad or good childhood - not the issue-
Until you see this mind deluding nature -you are hooked -
you can never be unconditionally happy - you are stuck in 'me-ness'
meditation allows you to wake up!
Her approach to life was finding meaning in the smallest of things. I believe it was the thinking part--really thinking--and surrendering to the silence that brought her answers. "You can find meaning where there seems to be none by deliberate reflection," my mother said. I did not know what that meant when I first heard her say it. I was only a child at the time. But now I know. She meant meditate.
Stop, take a deep breath and think. That was her motto. Stop meant: do not act. Take a deep breath meant: clear your mind. Think meant: let the answer find you.
"People have been doing that throughout time,” my mother said. “Whatever you are doing, think about it first and do it the best you can. Give it your full concentration. Challenge yourself with every little thing that comes your way; think of these little challenges as opportunities. Do all you can with whatever it is you have or what you are doing."
My mother taught me how to make my life rich without reference to money and she did this through meditation. http://sunnynash.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-mothers-japanese-tea-ceremony.html
recommend reading this!
Treasure yourself,
Ed
http://sunnynash.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-mothers-japanese-tea-ceremony.html
appreciate your sharing your views!
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Treasure yourself -
Ed
well said
Fanned & Fav'd
I recommend everyone read this-
a wealth of wisdom here!
Thank you,
Ed
Appreciate your honest comment & sharing -
Fanned & Fav'd
Hope people read this!
Ed
We met the author in India when visiting HH the Dalai Lama -
Great comment Craig - well said!
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A negative sense of yourself is truly self destructive!
The Buddha said don't do what I say - find out for yourself.
When you are confident the ego is not an obstacle but -
You have to live in this world of samsara - you have to live fearlessly -
Relatively speaking you live with awareness with presence -
You are quite present & you can be wise or compassionate even wrathful!
In absolute awareness there is no self - no you - only "Radiant Emptiness!
So all the wise ones sure have confidence & sure have awakened self esteem!
May all beings be happy & free from suffering!
Much metta,
Jygme Powa (Ed .....)
What about being wrathful??
I would like to share some things that have been helpful to my self esteem.
1. You are equal to others, your life, thoughts & feelings are just as important, not more, not less. So very important, but yet just a cog like everyone else.
2. Search your emotions deeply and follow where they came from.
3. Learn to forgive others and yourself. This has to be equal too. With the realization of individual experiences and pov's.