Poor, Lesbian, Minority, Undocumented Hipster Votes Republican, Becomes Irony Champion Of The World

Eufemia Guadalupe Munoz, known to her hipster friends as "Bermuda" for no particular reason, pulled off the ultimate upset Sunday night.

After a quick deliberation, the panel of this year's Irony Olympics crowned Eufemia the undisputed Irony Champion of the World. She was the dark horse of the race until her last-second revelation -- that she had voted in Texas' Republican Primary this Tuesday -- brought her into serious contention for the crown. Her move crushed the chances of once-favorite Donald Trump, who many thought was a lock to win considering that he is considered a reasonable option to judge beauty pageants.

During her acceptance speech, Eufemia pushed her lensless 3D glasses up her nose with her index finger and read from the notes that she kept in her Hello Kitty Trapper Keeper. She told the crowd that as a young, black-latina, homeless lesbian she knew that this lone move would leave Trump and others dumbfounded. Sarah Mclachlan did try her best this year by composing a dub step club song in support of the "Cats Are Yummy Movement" of south eastern China, but even this, to her disappointment could not compete with Eufemia's H-bomb of irony.

For her troubles, she won this hat:

When asked what her next move might be to solidify her standing before next year's competition begins, she responded with "I'm moving to Arizona. I plan to wear a parka year round. I will be working on Jan Brewer's campaign. That should do it."

Your humble and handsome servant,

El Guapo

El Guapo writes The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things sinvergüenza. Follow him on Facebook or Twitter @TheDailyRefried.

[Photos by Lorena Cupcake, Andrew St. Clair]