Gay Marriage, Chickens, and How to Win

It's hard to be totally elated at the lifting up of one group (African Americans) when another group (gays) is stripped of the most fundamental of human rights. Prop 8 in California passed; a constitutional amendment to define marriage as being between a man and a woman (or however many men and women men and women want to marry, one at a time). The "sanctity" of marriage is now safe. Sanc⋅ti⋅ty [holiness, saintliness, or godliness]. (So now where is that separation of church and state we're so fond of imagining?) It should chill everyone's blood that anyone's choice of whom to marry can be left up to a vote by strangers. Does Barak Obama remember when it would have been illegal for his black/white parents to marry? Who's next? Prop 8 now faces lawsuits, petitions, and daily demonstrations. If you're gay you take it personally, but aside from the religious nuts who can never be reasoned with, the way to win is to understand that it isn't personal. It's life as usual; "what's in it for me?" Again, the banality of evil.

The chickens, and Obama, knew how to sell it, while opponents of Prop 8 made a cardinal mistake; they relied on the kindness of strangers. Tennessee Williams, a national treasure who saved us from a lifetime of Cats and Grease, and who would not be allowed to marry in California, showed us the folly of that. And in California, owners of multi- million dollar properties also defeated a proposition to fund after school programs for at-risk youth because it would add fifty six dollars a year to their property taxes. Yes, even to the thousands of homes that cost from three million to forty million dollars here, just fifty six dollars a year, (the cost of one Medeco key). All you need to know about Californians, you can learn here at a four way stop sign.

There is a noble earnestness in the hope that people will do the right thing, but that is not how Obama, or the chickens, won. They won because they made their cases that voting for them was going to be better for you. For every voter that wanted Obama to win because he was the best man AND African American, there was a voter who forced himself to ignore the fact that Obama was African American, because that voter's needs were going to be better served with Obama as president. Obama knew this, so he framed this election (as he said in his victory speech) as being about you. Not him. You. And what did McCain keep saying? "I'm a maverick. She's a maverick. We're mavericks." Hey, we're over here.

The chickens won (slightly) more room because the commercials made it clear this was better for your health. Do you think if the HSUS framed the argument as "The chickens are suffering, and so are the other sentient animals who deserve to live their short lives free of pain and panic", do you think Prop 2 would have passed? I don't. It passed because the commercials made passing it about your health, and showed pictures of things you would never want to eat or have your food come from.

There are lots of people who don't care about animals, or electing the first black president, or gay people also having the right to get married in their cars in Vegas if they're too drunk to walk, or kids who have nothing, getting to play ball after school. The chickens got it right. People saw those chickens wallowing in filth and thought "Shit!! I'm not putting anything from there in my mouth!" Done deal. If they had said instead, "Do the right thing", those chickens would be living like thirty clowns in a volkswagon.

To win this fight, and it's criminal that any American taxpayer has to fight for fundamental human rights in 2008, show the opponents the advantages to them.

RATIONAL ARGUMENTS:

All marriages strengthen a society. That's why the people who consider them sacred marry so many times.

It's not a "Lifestyle", it's a life.

Less teenage suicide, the message was "hope", right?

More great homes become available when two become one.

Millions of dollars will pour into the economy for weddings; hotels, travel, bands, musicians, photographers, videographers, florists, wedding planners, caterers, bakeries, bartenders, waiters, liquor industry, clothing, taxes, real estate, furnishings, painters, jewelers. etc. etc. All those business owners vote. Promise not to elope.

More loving homes to welcome the shameful number of unwanted children languishing in orphanages. Religious people, they'll take care of you til the day you're born.

ARGUMENTS FOR THE DUMB GUYS

Less bad marriages for Liza Minnelli.

For those who believe there is a "gay agenda", where gays actually want to turn your three hundred pound beer drinking husband gay, well, now he'll be safe.

Take a page from "A Day Without a Mexican" and do the same, exaggerate the stereotypes: "A Day Without a Homosexual." 80% of Americans' hair will look like shit. The Desperate Housewives will be without makeup and great clothes, aagghhh how old are they?? Ballet companies will be missing lots of dancers, women forced to lift themselves. Small numbers in audience for Bette, Kathy, Equity Waver Theater. Half the women in America will have no one to talk to about what they're going through. Bronzer sales plummet. No one buying cashmere throws. Choirs reduced by half, harmony suffers. No one to sell shoes at Barney's. Retail sales down; no one to show buyers the possibilities. "Fabulous" dropped from dictionary. America loses ability to bounce back with grace.

And as one commenter wrote last week, and I wish I could find his name again but I tried and couldn't, "If people are against gays having sex, let them get married. That will put a stop to it".

Comments

[miritt]

Good post, Elayne. There's a contradiction though:

"It should chill everyone's blood that anyone's choice of whom to marry can be left up to a vote by strangers."

"To win this fight, and it's criminal that any American taxpayer has to fight for fundamental human rights in 2008, show the opponents the advantages to them."

If it shouldn't be left to a vote, then we shouldn't have to show opponents the advantages to them. Civil rights are civil rights...whether or not it's advantageous to the majority.

[BobbyMidnight]

Most Blacks are conservative when it comes to social matters. Besides, considering the low number of registered Black voters in Califonia, blaming us for the vote on Prop 8 is a waste of time. It was whites who overwhemingly voted against Prop 8. I voted "No" but among my friends, I'm the only one who did. And, all that's been accomplished with the protests is a hardening of the "Yes" vote.

[Elayne Boosler - Huffpost Blogger]

Hey, I didn't blame Black voters!
oxxoxoxoxoxo
Elayne

[CindyV]

Nov. 15th Gays and Lesbians across the country will eb protesting Prop 8 and it's funding organizations. Look for the protest in your city and join them.

[Citizen-Jane]

Black people are gays and lesbians too. Blacks voted two to one "yes" on prop 8, but they only accounted for 10% of the vote. Funny thing is that nation wide you would find that that statistic to be about the same in the black community. And it probably has been that way at least for the past 3 years. Why is this such a shock? And was this not anticipated?

I am all for same sex couples having the right to marry, but I will not buy into pitting one minority group against another.

The problem is the arguement made or was not made by the California LGBT community.

Black people aren't harrassing or hosing gays and lesbians down or burning a cross in any ones yards. Many Blacks have relatives who are gays and lesbians. And furthermore, I do not believe that the black community voted for "hate". Or that "hate" won with the passing of prop 8.

Religious belief s,however, overwhelming did.

You want to talk about something - how about the state of Florida and the state of Arkansas and what they said to the LGBT community nation wide. Their restrictions remind me of the middle ages.


Divide and conquer

Attack the problem not the sympton.

[Elayne Boosler - Huffpost Blogger]

Yipes, I didn't pit groups (and especially not Blacks) against each other here. I blamed all voters for their myopic self-interest, and of course fundamentalists of all stripes (please don't say I'm now pitting striped groups against each other).
Best,
Elayne

[jpnairn]

I'm not sure that anti-gay marriage measures, like we had here in Arizona, wouldn't have done better if someone had been willing to admit that they WERE about gays. All of the opposition advertising here kept telling us that the measure was something we already voted on, which it wasn't, and that it was just a distraction from the real issues, which is true but irrelevant when you have to pick yes or no and neither is more effort than the other.
It would have been helpful to have someone on TV saying, vote on way for hatred and fear, the other way for love and tolerance. I think it would have made it closer.
A similar campaign was successful in the presidential election.

[ProudLiberalDan]

Great article.

What we are witnessing with this growing protests is nothing less than the Stonewall moment for this generation. I have not seen such anger. I also saw many straights at the various No on 8 protests. It is great that non-gays are seeing our struggles as theirs too. If we can organize our passion for this civil rights struggle, we shall succeed.

I see my gay friends vowing that they will no longer be doormats for society.

Someone else's religious dogmas are irrelevant to our struggle for equality and the anti-gay bigots don't get a pass just because of cherry-picked biblical quotations taken out of their historical and literary context used to deny us civil and equal rights.

We are researching who contributed to Yes on 8 and have found business owners who took gay dollars and then made contributions to enshrine discrimination against us in the State Constitution. Such restaurants and other businesses will now be boycotted.

We are no longer society's doormats. And if the anti-gay bigots don't like it, that's too bad for them. Proposition 8 didn't end anything. In fact, it is the beginning of something big and wonderful.

[ProudLiberalDan]

One follow-up thought. I was riding the bus home and we passed a no on 8 rally. The bus driver said "sodomites" loud enough for the passengers to hear. I angrily shouted out "Yeah, I'm one of those sodomites too!" I had never done that before. He was totally flabbergasted that someone had stood up to him. He was speechless. The look on his face was priceless. No one had probably ever stood up to him before when he said something bigoted against gays. I felt wonderful to stand up for myself, without care about what other people thought. Nothing is more powerful than people throwing off their shame and fear and claiming they have a right to respect and equality too. Now that I've stood up for myself, it will be easier to stand up to the next homophobic comment. I feel empowered. Shake off that fear!!!

[technologist]

Way of the world. You all are taking this country to hell.

[froggyola]

Great article Elaine. You make me laugh and even pee a little. You make sense ,but how do we actually communicate the pluses and the "what's in it for me" to people that we have so little in common with? Where are these conversations taking place? I am open to suggestions.

[footej]

the final measure of man was proven by winning the fight over of word.

ha!

and, by the way, mormons/catholics...keep your filthy money out of my state.

[M1]

Hi Elayne,

Since you are being funny but with great points I will share with you a strange observation. It was the night of the 10,000 Gay protest in SF and the local news was covering it. Pictures of the crowd walking and this reporter in a tense voice saying, "...and so far it is not violent" They went to other news then came back, showed pictures of the big crowd walking and the report says, " we have no reports of violence but the crowd is getting larger but (voice tightens) no violence has occurred yet." Well, I sat up and watched the tv screen expecting some violence....a little violence but nothing. The picture shot the group at Dolores park and the reporter sounding very, very confused said....."ah...I believe they are dancing and celebrating." Sure enough, they were hugging each other and dancing.

It was then that it occurred to me that the police do not need to use tear gas to break up a Gay riot they would just need to pump in some dance music. We are a colorful people and I loved that particular rally.

[jillcatrina]

In California, voters adopted a constitutional amendment outlawing gay marriage, overturning the state Supreme Court decision that gave same-sex couples the right to marry. The outcome calls into question the marriages of thousands of couples who married since the court's ruling in May. Experts have said the issue of whether those marriages are valid will have to be resolved in court.
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jillcatrina

homes for sale by owner

[philistine]

In response to another observation about gay marriage, Richard Belzer, in character on Law and Order, asked "Why shouldn't they suffer like everyone else?" I thought that summed it up neatly.

[Beernuts]

Wonderful post Elayne
Please keep 'em coming because I really need to laugh while I come to grips with facets of the new "American Way". I left my beloved home state of California back in the Howard Jarvis days of "tax revolt" because I recognized it for what it was. The first manisfestation of the "I've got mine-to hell with you" movement. Now....legalizing hatred and bigotry. Hurray for the Sunshine State. The four way stop from hell, indeed.