Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal

May 1, 2007
Murdoch Empire Makes Bid To Buy Wall Street Journal
(Do you think he'll let his New York Post writers work on it?)

The Wall Street Journal
Publisher, Rupert Murdoch

DJIA 13062.91 plummeted 58.03 from a second story window.

NASDAQ 2525.09 dropped 1.3% like a crime boss tossed into the east river in cement shoes.

NIKKEI closed at 17400.41, just blocks from the house where Michael Jackson has taken up residence since leaving the United States after being accused of sexually molesting young boys.

10-yr. TREAS yield 4.631%. If only that truck had yielded on the Cross Bronx Expressway yesterday, Tragic Tiny Traffic Tot Susie James would still be alive.

OIL 65.71 down $0.75, the same senseless seventy-five cents Schoolteacher Sadist Sicko Senseless Slayer Frank Johnson killed Tragic Teacher Mary Lysker for, just three days before her retirement.

GOLD $680.50 up $1.80. That makes the faucets in The Donald's new Central Park Love Nest worth more than the entire Tragic Tenement where five Tragic Hero Tots perished in a Senseless Killer Nightmare Inferno due to a non- working smoke detector.

Surrender Monkey's EURO $1.3647

YEN $119.49, but apparently not as strong as the yen Michael Crowley had for the purse of 88 year old Tragic Victim Hero Grandmother Colleen Nelson, who fought off her attacker.

Inside:
Killer Weather Watch
Nude Career Journal
Rumors to the Editor
Tragic Technology
Career Cut Short Journal
Corporate Scandal Focus